Fearing Fear

It’s not hard for me to understand fear. I fear: Seeing a doctor for the first time. Seeing a dentist for the first time. Dinner parties where people, I don’t know or don’t know well, sit at large rectangular tables. Events like Blogher. Anyplace I think I’m going to be judged, and judged harshly. Though […]

Some travel stories, 9/11, Paris and me

A plane was hijacked when I was 34, in 1985, . I happened to be in London.  Later an Air India jet exploded in what was determined to be a terrorist attack. As I was going home the next day via Air India I was a bit nervous, and did the only sane thing a […]

Counting the ale bottles

In March, 1991, I was training to be an SSI Claims Rep in Jamaica, Queens. It was a strange reverse commute. I would walk down to the subway at Lexington and 60th from Fifth and 63rd counting the empty Olde English bottles along the way. A strange ritual I know, but while I had hung […]

Courting Destiny—the original design–and a story about NY, 1976

This is how my blog looked beginning in December, 2004. Pretend there’s an arrow leading to the first two words in the next paragraph! Sam’s Summer  is still one of my favorite stories. And absolutely true. The woman who had lived in my apartment for 25 years was a madam. I wish I had kept […]

Me and my generation; we go together

Viet Nam was the backdrop to my youth. I cried for hours when President Johnson announced he wasn’t going to run. Though I worked for anti–war candidates, I intuitively knew that he was a great domestic leader who had done more for the country than any president since FDR. When I began college in 1968, […]

Absolute Rights

I wrote a post about regrets. Most people over a certain age have them though we tell everybody that we have none. How can that be? There’s always something; a road not taken; a love broken too quickly or too slowly; a friendship ended for the wrong reasons; a job taken that doesn’t fit or […]

I Feel Cheated

I feel cheated because many people still refuse to understand: “My daughter had NLD. It was treated at school. Now she’s fine.” I don’t know if that’s a true statement or not as I didn’t know I had problems when I was in school. I was treated as a very bright girl who was very […]

Dreams, hopes, blogging and writing

I am not a blogger. Bloggers feel passionate about their blogging. I did once—decades ago in blogging years. Blogging gave me a false sense of security during the most difficult years of my life. My mother had died suddenly, and I thought tragically, a month after 9/11. It was damn hard to mourn, anybody but […]

Sleeping Beauties

December, 1970 Coed found dead in Woods.  Sitting on the subway, bored,  I  surreptitiously glanced at the man sitting next to me’s Daily News when I saw the headline. I couldn’t help it. I, princess of silence, girl with the greatest street face in history, gasped. My face, chameleon-like, everywhere but the streets and the subway must have […]

The Blinders Fit Perfectly

I’m writing a story about how I dropped out of college, worked, lived in a five room apartment in a complex every New Yorker knows—Stuy Town, moved to Israel after traveling in Europe with people I met on the plane, came home and….well, somethings should be a surprise. Actually that’s the barest of outlines. When […]

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