In real life I’m very different than I seem to be on my blog. I’m not argumentative. Much more fun to argue on paper. Kind of mellow, and smile as much as possible.
Yesterday in petit jury, as I’ve taken to call my Grand Jury, we were talking. Nobody thought that I was from New York as I don’t shout–actually have a soft voice. I think that there are traces of New York in my voice, but they don’t. Kind of a bit upset about that. Wear jeans, tees or peasant shirt with the most expensive sneakers or walking sandals around. Beginning to lose the vertigo I was feeling when wearing them. Once I get into a rhythm, I feel like I’m walking on air. I’ve always hated just standing; but with MBT’s (yes they are) even standing is pleasurable.
I was officially called too sweet to be from New York. Real upset about that. Being a New Yorker is a major part of my identity. And I am third generation–so what else should I be called?
Do over use the word “so,” which I think is a real New York word that can substitute for almost anything including “hi,” “bye,” “How are you?” And so on.
I am hung up on my teeth. Teeth, to me, represent much more than just teeth, but beauty, health, wealth and the state of my mind.
Feel that I’ve done a good job in reducing the national debt by helping make rich dentists even richer. One of the newer Fifth Avenue buildings (about 25 years old) is fondly called by many New Yorkers, the dentists building, as every office on the office wing seems to be a dental office.
I have known one of the dentists all my life as our parents were life long friends and even business partners at times. Don’t go to him; always feel that it’s awkward to mix business and people you’ve always known.
When I lived on 63rd off Fifth, I went to a dentist on East 72nd Street. Would quiz him on the status of his Porsche that I helped him buy. Now I look at my dentists’ office staffs and think how much I help people stay employed.
Always hated my teeth because they were small. My dental problems really began when I set out to make them larger and whiter. This is where I should begin preaching: don’t fix what ain’t broken. Because then the problems begin for real.
I’m a great example of somebody who was never satisfied with who I was.
“What, I look all-American? Exotic is in.” “But I don’t want to be sweet, soft spoken and serene; I want to be surly, sarcastic and sadistic.”
Not really. I learned to be sarcastic early in life–it’s a great defense mechanism when all the men in your life mastered sarcasm in the crib. Sadistic–think that belongs to the Gestapo and Marquise de Sade.
See what merely thinking about teeth does to me? Reduces me to somebody who has to find adjectives that all begin with the letter “S,” when thinking up adjectives that begin with the letter “T,” would actually make sense. Or “E,” for expensive; “M,” for money; “P” for pricey and Pia. Pia is pricey. My dad had plenty of pricey Pia jokes; so did a few other men. They weren’t funny then and aren’t funny now.
Should go and find some strangers to smile at. Should really make back the money this mouth has cost me–so far.
Truthfully I’m jealous of Little Luce (yes you girl) and fave niece as their generation won’t know the teeth problems mine has endured. No, I’m a better person that. Happy for them. Really. They’ll be able to spend money on things much more important than teeth–wait there is nothing more important.
Maybe my petit jury is right: I’m the living embodiment of a shallow California girl. Do dream of moving there. Maybe I secretly just want to be shallow, vain–live in a space that has more than 600 square feet, and am able to smile at people on the street without fear.
Now that’s a cliche. Do find that when I smile at strangers on the mean streets of Manhattan, they smile back. Even if they obviously didn’t want to. Smiling is sort of like a yawn; it elicits a similar response. There have been studies that say if you smile when you wake up and tell yourself that today will be a wonderful day, it usually will be.
So I began practicing that this week. The results have been good, so far.
Am waiting for merry mirth. Rapid rapture. Frolicking fun. Sensual sin. Lasting lust…you get the drift