It’s been brought to my attention by myself and several people I respect that lately I have been attacking without being provoked. Sort of like a poorly trained pit bull. Only said pit bull would probably be more discrete.
There were many reasons for my absurd attack mentality. Do believe that political blogging wasn’t good for my soul.
I must have been brought up in parallel universe. In the world I come from arguing about politics is as natural as breathing. But we didn’t personalize it; we didn’t tell people that they were mentally ill because they disagreed with us. Nobody accused us of hating our country because we disagreed with a president or a policy. Well there were the Viet Nam years but that was different somehow. And there wasn’t blogging. I never had to add to all my statements: “I support the troops.” Because why wouldn’t I?
I love blogging. Think it’s an incredible medium and we haven’t begun to scratch the surfaces of how it can possibly help communicate. That’s communicate, not put down people because you disagree with them. Though I began blogging last August I did it rarely until November. Now I understand why a person could critique my workshop writing so harshly and thoughtlessly. She was a blogger.
She did cross everything out save one paragraph about sex and said, “there’s nothing else worth reading.” She also crossed everything out in another submission and said “this is worthless.”
True story. Yes we live in New York; yes only the most fit survive. Guess what? I continued to make excuses for her to my closest friend in the class. We all need to feel validated; but do we need to feel it at somebody else is expense? Did she think that critique was in anyway helpful?
I like people despite….I’m always the one making excuses for their behavior. It drives my friends crazy. Lucia once said “she’d find an excuse for Hitler if they ever met.” Never and she knows that. But I have a need to understand and like people. Its the frigging Social Worker in me.
And you know what? I like that part of me; I like getting to know people from all over the world and the country. I have discovered that red state people can be even better than blue state people.
I love discourse. Just like it to be done respectfully. Don’t like my words changed; don’t like comments that I’m responding to changed to make me look stupid. So I turned into a pit bull.
I do live in a city that’s running on empty. It was obvious to me for a long time. Then I read the 7/25/2005 issue of The New Yorker, now I’m more scared than ever. We pay the costs of 9/11 over and over again. We can’t afford to. I remember the days of Ford to City: Drop Dead which he never actually said, but meant, and it did make a great newspaper headline.
Private conservatory money and old bonds make the city look good. What’s going to happen when people don’t want to give their money to this city anymore? Does anybody want to buy bonds that pay four percent–at the most? Yes damn it, this does affect me. And yes, I am hung up on if 9/11 truly was America’s Tragedy then all of America should pay. Except for service people in Iraq and their families. They are paying; many more in sheer numbers, are paying the ultimate price than did firemen in New York, and their families made millions.
This is a blanket apology to anybody and everybody I might have unwittingly hurt. Doesn’t include those people who oh so love to goad me. Won’t work anymore. But I’m really not giving political blogging up because of you. I’m giving it up for two far more important reasons: 7/7 brought everything home. No it didn’t change my politics. It did help me realize (once again) how precious life is; and therefore I’m going to spend the summer concentrating on things that are personally enjoyable and important to me.
And yes I sure do support the troops. I would list all my blogging buddies who have husbands or sons in the military, but that would be a rather long list. Those wives and mothers know that I care, and frankly, their opinion of me is more important to me than any person on the radical religious right.
My love for this country has grown since I began blogging, and have been meeting so many wonderful people who don’t live in my city, state, or in certain parts of California and Southern Florida. I was very provincial when I first began blogging. I’m not anymore.
I reserve the right to dissent at any time. End of speech.