After Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley were divorced, my mom decided that he would make my perfect spouse. Unlike my father and I, my mother actively disliked most celebrities, and wasn’t star struck. As my mom was the most practical person I knew, I couldn’t understand where this was coming from. Though she was losing her sight she could still somewhat see then.
“Uh, why do you think I should marry him?”
“He looks like such a nice Jewish boy. You like musicians and you should finally meet one with some money.”
My mother had absolutely no Yiddish inflections in her voice until after she was 70. I didn’t know or care to know that Billy Joel had any Jewish blood. I was curious as to her sudden interest in him
“Why do you think that he’s Jewish?”
“He comes from the Jewish area of Hicksville/Levittown.”
This too was news to me. Hicksville and Levittown were to the south of our community. When I was in high school, the unspoken rule was to never say that you lived anywhere near Hicksville. Actually it might have been a school rule; my school was both pretentious and snobby, and liked to pretend that it was a private school.
“And that makes him Jewish?”
“I know X. She knows his family.”
X’s nephew was in prison for killing his parents but everybody knew that he had been framed. This was beginning to make sense. My mother was part of Long Island’s very tied in community of Jewish mothers. If somebody was from the Island and became famous odds where that my mother knew their mothers, a relative or close friend.
“Have you seen him recently?”
“He looks nice.”
“Your sight’s getting worse isn’t it?”
“So why should looks matter so much?”
Couldn’t fight that one.
“Just curious. How am I supposed to meet him?”
“He’s a musician; you can meet him.”
This was true. If there were a hundred guys in one place and only one was a musician, I would meet him. The same held true for lawyers with advanced science degrees, but they weren’t usually as much fun.
“You know that he dropped out of high school?”
“So, that was a long time ago; he’s very rich now.”
“You don’t like most rich people.”
This conversation went on for awhile.
When I had been in high school, Billy Joel played in a group called The Hassles. They had played at many Sweet Sixteens in our community. I hadn’t been invited to any. My boyfriend had been a 28 year old hippie truck driver. I couldn’t help but think that a Jewish high school drop out musician probably would have been an improvement in my parents eyes.
My parents had never stopped me from dating anybody as they assumed each boyfriend was just another passing phase. But guilt was still my middle name, and I suddenly felt very guilty for not having been been friendlier with the girls in my town, meeting Billy Joel, dating and marrying him. If my mother said that I could have done it, I could have done it.
My parents aren’t even alive anymore and yet just writing this makes me feel guilty. Yes, mom, I should have married Billy Joel. But I don’t think you would have liked his amazing ability to smash cars.
he smashes cars? i had a boyfriend like that at 18. he was a ‘professional’ student & was 28. never dawned on me til many years later WHY he was probably dating an 18 year old.
as always, enjoyed reading your post.
Billy Joel smashes cars, yes.
My high school boyfriend was some east village mack truck driver hippie. I hope he didn’t smash his truck!
Hope I made that clear. My horoscope said I would have major communication problems this weeks. Hope that they didn’t mean my writing!
God I hate believing my horoscope.
Pia,
Are you a Gemini? I am thinking that mine said something very similar….Jonathan cainer I think?
JC
First, that short story on you, your mother and Billy Joel is a good. Look it is a damn good short film screenplay that could make you rich and famous. Just call it”WHY I DID NOT MARRY BILLY JOEL”. And it will no cost much to produce it.
Why do you miss not marrying Billy Joel?
Is your love life nothing to be proud of?
Then, contact me.
I am also a classical rock singer in Nigeria and was also a teen idol and the girls still scream anytime I open my voice to sing. I am 42, but I am still being adored by teenage fans as young as 15.
Your story will really make a god short story and if it is not fiction, kindly contact Oprah Winfrey on phone or send her your story by express courier, FeDex, DHL or UPS. She will surely invite you. Include your pictures from your high school days to date.
Tell her that one of the members with a journal on her oprah.com named Chiyenre told you to send her your story.
God bless.
Your happiness is really my concern.
See my poems on KISSES AND ROSES, THEY ARE ACTUALLY THE LYRICS OF MY SONGS.
hm. what to say after that?;)
firstly: don’t marry Billy Joel, whatever your mum said. Last I checked he is neither sexy or interesting, though of course he is rich. Money isn’t everything, just a large part of things (re your earlier post on this topic, see I pay attention!
second: I was never that friendly with the girls either. I had my own girls, the ones who weren’t frilly and sweet, but who drank beer and talked about interesting things (i.e other topics than boys and being popular) and I think I have turned out the better for it. And so have you. Imagine if you *were* married to Billy. You probably woudln’t have had this blog. Anmd even if you did, you’d have probably had to sign non-disclosure agreements and not been able to blog about it anyway… Hang on, does that mean you *ARE* married to him, just not telling???
And I think we all have communication issues, I couldn’t work out how to end my post for today so i just did. End it. It looks weird, but I kinda like it..
True story: My friend’s brother broke down in his car in Long Island. A car approaches and stops. Out comes Billy Joel to the rescue!!
Your site is always such a good read, pia.
Guess I know what CD I’ll be listening to on the way home from work today.
Probably a good thing you didn’t marry him. I imagine he’d be really picky about that piano. And if you ever spilled anything on it, well that would just be the end of everything.
That is a great piece !
hmmmm…had i listened to my mother, at 18 i would have been married to a 36 year old doctor!
I ahve a Bill Joel story or at least, my friend did. She was on an airplane, and he walked past her and spilled his drink on her. He was neither apologetic or polite. She said he was a bit of an asshole. SO you are lucky, you missed a rude, boring, unattractive husband. Who’s music isn’t even that good..
Go for Antonio Banderas, or somebody really HOT.. You can have rich, famous, fun and HOT.. You go girl….
Funny his name comes up for me in three places today. And the kids just got done watching Oliver and Company with “Why Should I Worry” sung by Billy Joel. Weird!
That’s kind of sweet that your mom had such high hopes for you, although that crushing Mother Guilt is more than anyone should bear.
It could have been worse, she could have wanted you to marry Axl Rose or something.
Um, LOL. Wiping the tears of humour from my eyes thanks to your Nigerian friend there. Is this the new version of the “please send us your bank account number so we can deposit 10K”?
Anyway, wow. All hail your mom, the guilt queen, still generating little nudges of guilt from the grave.
Hey, I am so happy to have stumbled across your blogsite…. what a fun read this was. Any idea why your Mom didn’t speak with a yiddish inflection all those years and suddenly began? Love it. I’ll be back.
I met him in a “bar/restaurant” freshman year.( go figure bj in a bar. It’s funny but I have called him my older/drunk/loser/nyc boyfriend since that time.
I’m in NY for the day. I forgot how much I wanted to be here.
I think you’re better off not married to that alcoholic weirdo… as someone who’s entire family is from Hicksville and still lives either there or in (gasp) Levittown, should I be worried??