If there was a contest for the “world’s most uncool person,” I would so easily win. An example: I still buy Cd’s; almost called them records, that shows even more.
I worked in the old Paramount Building when Tower Records first opened. The Paramount Building had been the Gulf & Western building most of my life, easily distinguishable by the weird and unremarkable sort of sculpture, on the top, that I believe was supposed to symbolize the world. The Paramount Theatre was underground, and it was easy to sneak out for a long lunch and see a movie.
Spent my lunches at Tower where I should have had my paychecks deposited. My father came to my apartment once, shook his head, and told me that adults didn’t listen to that much music. This adult did, and does. I still love Cd’s; many people think records have more depth, but I will sacrifice that for feeling as if I’m one with the music.
Don’t download music; don’t own an MP3 player. This is what makes me so uncool. When I found myself heading for Tower after lunch with Lucia and Little Luce, the world’s most beautiful teenager, I thought I would be the only person buying Cd’s. I wasn’t and found that shocking.
I was looking for a specific CD and totally blanked out on the name of the group, and the songs. Okay, that wins me the most uncool award. The Tower staff is supposed to be angst ridden and unfriendly. Though that has never been my experience. But there’s always a first time. (Expecting things to go wrong isn’t uncool; it’s Woody Allen NY neurotic. Okay that’s truly uncool.)
This was my imaginary conversation with a clerk who looked like Marilyn Manson, and could have been male or female. Marilyn Manson’s so yesterday. Add more points to my lack of cool.
Me: “I’m looking for a CD”
Pause because I have no idea what I’m saying. The genderless clerk just stares at me as if I’m a creature from another planet. This makes me babble.
“They were at The Bowery Ballroom on Tuesday, and are giving a concert at the South Street Seaport tonight, but it looks like it’s going to be thunder storming. Damn August weather in July.”
The clerk looks at me as if I’m certifiable. Since I probably am, I go on:
“You know, no you wouldn’t nor should you, I only like one song on that CD, why do I want to buy it? Darn that’s what downloading is for, and I do need an MP3 player, however….”
Back in the real world, a clerk, of the male gender, smiled at me and said:
“You have an infectious smile. Must have been thinking very happy thoughts.”
“No, actually, I was thinking about what to buy.”
For the record, I bought:
John Hiatt; “Master of Disaster”
John Prine: “Fair and Square”
The Subdudes “Annunciation”
Solomon Burke “Soul of the blues”
Love being so uncool; love it. And I wouldn’t know what to do with the special CD shelves I had made on my amazing one-of-a-kind wall unit. Okay, I lose few uncool points for that. But just a few.