I wrote a rather long 9/11 post but put it into draft as I realized that I hadn’t said anything new, sounded like the most self absorbed person in the universe, and made myself so depressed I included links to Project Liberty which seems to provide free counseling for everybody but me. My mom fell and died 33 days later. My mom had become blind from macualar degeneration but she wasn’t demented, I tested her all the time, she and was so careful she drove both my sister and I nuts; she did everything so slowly it hurt. But she could live independently which is what she cared about.
I’m not the most patient person in the world. Walking with my mother actually toned my legs more as I used many more muscles then normal; damn it hurt to walk so slowly. Many people treated her as if she had become demented.
I thought that I had 9/11 and my mom’s death under control this year. Then Katrina happened. I tried to stop a 300+ comment thread on a post I had on Blog Critics, by using the biggest cliche in the world:
“How can you talk…at a time like this?”
I should probably copy the comments relevant to that question as they have to be read in the original to be believed. It began with “America isn’t the center of the universe” two weeks ago on Tuesday and ended, I hope, this past Saturday with something about how he couldn’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge he felt for the people. As I would assume that anybody would feel for the people, I misread it. I thought he believed that I was upset about the geographic location and not the people. As soon as I posted my comment I realized what he meant but wasn’t about to tell him that I thought he was incredible for caring.
In the last twelve day I have lost over ten pounds on the I’m starving but like the feeling as people are starving in New Orleans diet. Realized the absurdity of that some days ago but couldn’t eat. As that usually only happens when I’m sick or in the beginning months of love, I considered it a small miracle to come out of this.
This isn’t my best time of the year, but I think I have been writing so much I wrote my way out of it. I’m sure that I will slip, but I have such great friends and support.
Lucia, Little Luce and I hope to take meditation classes at a neighborhood college. I finally get to take mommy and me classes, even if the kid is a high school sophmore. She had her dyed the classiest blue, really. She says that she doesn’t want to be seen with us–old people, but I think that she says that because she thinks that it’s it’s expected of her.
Lucia and Little Luce join with me in saying “impeach Bush.” We will never forget the seven minutes he sat in the Florida classroom while our city was being attacked.
Putting this in to say that today is the first day since Katerina began that I feel guilt free and ready for life. Have a lot to catch up. Thanks all.