Edited and added to at Bring it on! Or will be when the server works properly again.

About that Internet break: uh, things got a little out of control. Am feeling much better and always believed that sick days should be reserved for healthy days. Unless it was something contagious or I was about to faint. Of course the one time I told my boss I was sick and I wasn’t I immediately became sick.

That was when I was a puta in Cambridge, and my pimp just didn’t take it well. What can I say? I have been leading up to telling you all this for awhile.

I am not the girl next door, unless you’re from a North Shore Long Island suburb; then I might have dated you, in the sleeping with sense–if you’re a straight male—or even lived with you.

Yes, even Pia’s parents approved of her living with men outside of marriage.

When I was run out of Long Island, for behavior unbecoming to a lady, I ran to Cambridge where I met Luke who would become my pimp. Now remember I’m from Long Island where Amy Fisher’s teenage behavior is considered normative teenage acting out, so I will tell that story someday soon.

I was 22, had the face of somebody in junior high but the body of a woman. Therefore I was tops at doing the school girl fantasy thing, and yeah I liked to be on top, but as I was paid to fulfill a fantasy sometimes I had to do things I didn’t want to do.

If I didn’t there would be consequences as I soon learned, but fortunately Luke never hit me on my face.

Then I moved to Manhattan. The apartment I found on East 63rd Street was perfect for the business as it was pretty, and a madam had lived in it for 25 years. In 1976, each telephone had to have a separate line or something, and there were five lines already set. So I set up my own business, because that’s the American way, and I wanted to be free of pimps, and have something that could keep the money coming in when I was too old for whoring.

So yes, the Courting pin-up is a homage to my old wild days. I sold the business for mucho money and became respectable. Nobody in this building knows about my sordid past.

Was I really a prostitute? Does it matter?

There are people on the Internet who believe that if you have a value code based on morals just a bit different than theirs you’re fair game to be judged and picked apart.

I’m a New York Jewish woman with a sense of humor and a way with words. Don’t like it? Ban my site.

Come here to judge me, me, me, the most shallow person on earth who believes in beauty over hurricanes, earthquakes, and all causes, you will be ignored.

Judge other people who comment, your comment will be deleted and you will be banned.

Anything overtly racist or any “ism” will be immediately deleted, and the person immediately banned.

I read the comments in another blog that were devoted to bashing me; called me extremely superficial and took my writing apart to show how I am. All of a sudden I realized something.

My humor isn’t malicious. Who do I make fun of? Me, me, me, and more me.

I don’t like malicious humor unless I’m making fun of myself; or somebody else is making fun of himself. My former editor is one of the three people in the world allowed to make fun of me; he earned that right, as I earned the right to make fun of him. Actually other people are allowed to, but they have to know how to. A sense of humor about themselves and life helps.

My humor is ghetto humor; or shettel humor. It’s New York Jewish humor, though all ethnic, racial, and religious groups in New York are pretty slick and funny. More than most places we hyphenate our identity: Irish-American; Italian-American; Hispanic-American, Greek-American, etc. We’re proud of our roots.

Now the Jewish ghettos or shettels are mostly gilded, but in our hearts and souls we carry the 2,000 years of being persecuted–haven’t read the New York Magazine article on Jews yet, but I will today.

Because I am Jewish, I have a particularly hard time banning people. To all you people who don’t understand why people who don’t believe in God, or might be agnostics still identify themselves as Jews let me explain: my family was denied citizenship in Russia/Poland; we were denied many more things like owning land and having a profession. We were banned from so many things, but we were always welcome in the Czar’s army. My great-uncle did cut his finger off rather than be drafted. We were always proud of that.

In America, we were allowed to be citizens. We bought our house a year after my maternal grandmother died. My mom wanted her mom to know that we had achieved the American dream. I have never forgotten how she cried over that.

My family came here 101 years ago; Hitler didn’t directly affect us, and I’m not going to get into the Holocaust, because I never care about anything that doesn’t directly affect me. No, I’m just not going there now.

If I close comments I give into terrorism. That’s right I consider people who go around the Internet putting in unsolicited hate spawn messages to be terrorists.

Yes the Internet is a public forum, but the blog owner gets to make the rules as the owner can push the delete button. It’s not censorship when a blog owner takes out comments that are overtly racist or very nasty or refuses to debate, it’s her right. The First Amendment doesn’t apply to blogs; but comments such as some I have recently received could be construed to be inflammatory

I will be around to blogs on Tuesday; now, I really need the break!!!!!!

Thank you all who have supported me. Thank you, thank you. You’re all great. Today I will thank Jane and Mulligan Actually Jane’s site poses a good question today: what does your blogroll state about you?

As for the rest of you, do you think your petty judgements are going to make me stop blogging? As I have been told too many times, “get a grip,” “deal with it.”

I won’t pretend to understand how people can judge so harshly.

Do I want to understand your thinking? If you try to understand me, I might try to understand your point of view.

But not this weekend. I do think that a lot of you misunderstand that the Internet can also be a place for story telling, and that not everything has to be an exercise in morality, values, ethics and/or politics..

I think many people come to the Internet to be entertained or to read good stories; not everything is about politics or Christian morality. And I put Christian in italics because there ain’t nothing moral about spawning hate.

I am trying to keep politics out of Courting; I am trying to make it a place for good stories. I haven’t been at Bring it on! this week because I have been recuperating from oral surgery; I probably won’t be at Bring it on! next week as I’m finally going to take that blogging break.

However I will be a Wednesday guest on a site that some of you read. I will plug it next week. Obviously I will post on Courting, if only for shout outs. If you have sent me emails and or otherwise supported me this week and don’t want a shout out, send me an email–somehow that last section was deleted.

While I’m not sure what my feelings are on reciprocal links; haven’t usually done that; I do believe that commenting on blogs that comment on mine is plain good manners. That said; I believe in “nice” comments as in if you have nothing nice to say don’t say it unless the blog owner specifically wants a debate.

I truly hope that Wilma is as nice as she was on the Flinstones, and doesn’t go nuts and try to bash Fred on the head, and get other people in his place. Oh did I say that? Must have mistook me for somebody else; somebody who cares.

Oh just realized something: Moral maniacs can’t reach Larry David, Seinfeld, Woody Allan, or a host of other people; I’m accessible so they take out their negative energy and hate on me as I’m merely mortal. Wait! I said that? Of course I’m immortal; the world revolves around me; how can I not be immortal?

That said I rejected a large one bedroom apartment, that was underpriced in 1996, so it was bargain basement cheap, in The Beresford where Seinfeld bought an apartment or ten a few years later. So duh there is a connection besides the bred in Long Island, live in the Upper West Side one. In no way do I believe that I have Seinfeld’s or Larry David’s talent.

Remember where Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George ended living in, in the last episode? Shouldn’t that tell you something? We make fun of ourselves to save you the trouble of making fun of us. We give you ammunition; 99.9% of you laugh along with us, and get it.

Yes I picked the pinup because she reflects my very deviant character; isn’t that obvious? I like her and thought that the amine type people so popular in blogs belong to teenagers and very young adults. It made Little Luce very happy when I said that.

Have to go. Having a manicure emergency; a nail just broke.

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