Life is good. Sometimes even I have to accept that. Yesterday I was given an amazing gift; still I have to learn how to graciously accept gifts as I am better at giving them.
Writing has long been my salvation; my way of working out problems and recently physical pain. I am a compulsive writer and now blogger. When Google added a spell check to its toolbar my life felt complete. I dream of a blogger’s convention where all the bloggers I like, and there are so many will meet along with still more bloggers. Then we’ll take over the world.
Blogging has given me the feedback that I have craved; it’s also hardened me. Though Courting has my soul, I am a political blogger too, and I recommend that highly to any person who has ever needed a thicker skin.
Of course you can be too thin skinned to begin with, and literally, I am. But that’s just my outer layer. When Lucia and I were first friends and met in a woman’s group every Saturday afternoon she once described me as being similar to a Ming Vase; fragile on the outside and much tougher inside.
But that was many years ago and I no longer have the protective armor of youth. Have to say that I feel young and that youthful looks run in my family. No I wasn’t born to my parents but they were my models, and damn good ones.
I realize now that when my sinful life was exposed, I was angry because people weren’t just attacking my moral/values but my parents, and their parents lives for my values derive directly from them.
I was wrong to react at that moment because I was in physical pain, and writing from anger is the best pain reliever I have ever found. I should have waited until I felt better and then I should have asked three simple questions:
Why are you so intolerant?
What gives you the right to judge?
Do you believe that America is a democracy where people are free to live as they choose within the confines of the law?
But I could be a drama queen so I chose not to wait. Today I choose to stop being a drama queen and to accept the good that comes my way. I know that I will have setbacks and so I ask my friends, and they know who they are, to accept my occasional tirades and/or looking at the bad instead of all the good for I have been blessed and I know it
Won’t even tell you that if you plan on reviewing my work you should have a love of language, elegance, wit, insight, and neither be overly clever or cute at all. No won’t say that
Not everything in my life had gone the way I planned it and somethings were downright awful. I changed from being a relentless optimist to somebody who saw the bad in things.
That wasn’t really me, and I never felt comfortable in the role though I seemed to embrace it.
Today is a new beginning and I plan on taking full advantage of it.