Life is good. Sometimes even I have to accept that. Yesterday I was given an amazing gift; still I have to learn how to graciously accept gifts as I am better at giving them.
Writing has long been my salvation; my way of working out problems and recently physical pain. I am a compulsive writer and now blogger. When Google added a spell check to its toolbar my life felt complete. I dream of a blogger’s convention where all the bloggers I like, and there are so many will meet along with still more bloggers. Then we’ll take over the world.
Blogging has given me the feedback that I have craved; it’s also hardened me. Though Courting has my soul, I am a political blogger too, and I recommend that highly to any person who has ever needed a thicker skin.
Of course you can be too thin skinned to begin with, and literally, I am. But that’s just my outer layer. When Lucia and I were first friends and met in a woman’s group every Saturday afternoon she once described me as being similar to a Ming Vase; fragile on the outside and much tougher inside.
But that was many years ago and I no longer have the protective armor of youth. Have to say that I feel young and that youthful looks run in my family. No I wasn’t born to my parents but they were my models, and damn good ones.
I realize now that when my sinful life was exposed, I was angry because people weren’t just attacking my moral/values but my parents, and their parents lives for my values derive directly from them.
I was wrong to react at that moment because I was in physical pain, and writing from anger is the best pain reliever I have ever found. I should have waited until I felt better and then I should have asked three simple questions:
Why are you so intolerant?
What gives you the right to judge?
Do you believe that America is a democracy where people are free to live as they choose within the confines of the law?
But I could be a drama queen so I chose not to wait. Today I choose to stop being a drama queen and to accept the good that comes my way. I know that I will have setbacks and so I ask my friends, and they know who they are, to accept my occasional tirades and/or looking at the bad instead of all the good for I have been blessed and I know it
Won’t even tell you that if you plan on reviewing my work you should have a love of language, elegance, wit, insight, and neither be overly clever or cute at all. No won’t say that
Not everything in my life had gone the way I planned it and somethings were downright awful. I changed from being a relentless optimist to somebody who saw the bad in things.
That wasn’t really me, and I never felt comfortable in the role though I seemed to embrace it.
Today is a new beginning and I plan on taking full advantage of it.
Why are you so intolerant?
What gives you the right to judge?
Do you believe that America is a democracy where people are free to live as they choose within the confines of the law?
Where can I start? People are intimidated by others that are fearless to live life to its fullest. People are afraid of others that are different and tend to make rash, quick, erroneous judgements. Some people think their religious beliefs gives them dominance over the rest of the world. That gives them the “right” to be critical and judge others. But most of all, others believe that America is a democracy and that only those that pray a certain way, vote a certain way and live that same way…only they can enjoy the freedoms of our democracy.
I guess the rest of us have to move. That is what is always being suggested by those same people.
Sorry, but the Constitution doesn’t discriminate against who gets to exercise the freedoms listed and who don’t. So, why are soo many of you interpreting it like that???
Just guessing here, but I’ll bet that a good percentage of those who attack you spent their youths doing the things that were in sync with their parents moral dogma, rather than enjoying their own lives. There is something to be said for living life in all it’s crazy glory while you’re still young and cute enough to be able to pull it off…then you can sit back and reflect on a youth well spent and realize that there’s nothing you’ve missed out on that would make you any better than you are now.
Maybe the trolls are just that, because they neither have the history or the capacity write about a life well lived?
“Today is a new beginning…”
Everyday is a new beginning. A new chance. And the only thing you ever need remember is being true to yourself.
I think you do a fine job of that.
(Oh, and I’m all for a blog convention, just don’t pick anywhere tropical… I don’t look good in a bikini.)
I’m thinking nowadays that the overall feeling of powerlessness has made us all a little crazy. Blogging is a way to overcome that feeling especially when you know that people are listening. It’s empowering to know that these little keystrokes are actually doing something tangible.
Occasional tirades? Looking at the bad instead of all the good?
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who hasn’t been there. Hey wait! I guess that would have to include me.
Today is a new beginning and I plan on taking full advantage of it.
…………………………….
Amen.
I look forward to seeing you one fine day next summer.
“That’s just my outer layer” is the best line I’ve read in a while.
If you’re not able to organize the blog convention, may I suggest my idea of the Pia Reality Tour. You can travel the country, stopping off to visit each of the bloggers you link to. You might also rent a bus and sell tickets. Just be sure to serve refreshments
I too am much better at giving than receiving. Gifts, compliments… make me feel uncomfortable and undeserving.
Pia, good to see you again
Just had to drop in to give you a War Eagle!
Iron Bowl Weekend!
btw, congrats on your newspaper schtick… thats pretty cool
Yes – that’s what I was talking about in ‘Good Times & Bad’. Your comment was, as always, dead on. Still, I ask – do we ever really forgive ourselves for those moments lost? Youth is both blessing and curse; I am braver now than I was then, yet I cannot recapture those spaces in time and re-do them. Seemingly small decisions then – huge impact later on. So writing becomes a way to exorcise those leftover demons – salvation, in a way. You know, when I was in theatre, especially as an actor, the work kept me sane. It allowed me the luxury of sifting through my emotions safely; because being on stage was the safest place in the world to me. Now, it’s my writing that performs that service. Memories, old and new – the relative safety of words, this time on paper (metaphorically) rather than spoken aloud. I’m glad you have found your optimism again. For me, as long as there is breath, there is hope. Be happy, my dear.