Though I live in the center of Manhattan, on the Upper West Side, in early morning and on Sunday I can hear many types of birds. Obviously I have always lived in the city or suburbs as sometimes I believe the sounds to be coming from giant pre-digitial stereo speakers.
I was typing in tune to The Subdudes my group of the year. Suddenly my Bose stereo went off; I’m not enamoured with my stereo, It’s one for non music lovers as it lacks depth, or so I think. But it’s reliable; in its place I heard all the people who were at a party in a townhouse, and a loud high c noise–uh, a, uh–car alarm.
My block is so quiet at night that a car alarm is disruptive. I have never lived in such a quiet place; the white noise from The West Side Highway sounds like ocean waves and all I need is a salt machine. I know, Kramer made one. Sometimes I feel as though we share much in common.
The noise went on and on. I called the doorman who knew about it. He suggested that I call 311; the city complaint number. I did and only had to wait a moment or two.
“Are you sure that it’s a car alarm? Could it be a horn?”
Was that a trick question? Once I drove all the way uptown with my friend Patrick when his horn was stuck. He was mortified; Lucia and I couldn’t stop laughing. It did sound like this.
“Well, it could be a stuck horn.”
The woman sighed.
“Can you tell me what model car it is?”
“I have absolutely no idea what car it’s coming from.”
“You have to know something. You have to know if it’s a horn or a car alarm.”
“I think it’s a car alarm. It could be a stuck car horn. I don’t know. It’s very very loud…” I put the cordless phone out the window and played it for her.
“Well, I don’t know….”
“Right, exactly. It’s just very loud.”
“There’s a special noise complaint number. You’re supposed to call your local police precinct.”
“You are? I thought 311 was the number for all non-emergency calls.”
“No. Who told you that?”
“The mayor? Not personally of course but…”
“Well, I’ll be glad to take your complaint. Wait a minute.”
She put me on hold. Five minutes later the call was lost. It’s been an hour and a half and the noise is still going on. My stereo suddenly went back on, and once again I’m typing in time to The Subdudes.
Oh My God!!! This is like one’s worst nughtmare, ALL around! The Noise!!! The No Help For The Weary!!! DELIVER ME!!
Thanks for coming to my blog and I saw a comment of yours on janelovestarzan and laughed..Wel…because, Michele did NOT send me, but she could have!!! LOL…
Do you visit her? Cause if woulds…MANY MANY people would leave that message on your blog!
This is such a pretty page!! I love it…so original..
in case: http://www.micheleagnew.com
ENJOY!!! It is so much fun, and you gey to meet the nicest people!
Like YOU!
Well..I just scrolled down and there is Michele’s address thingy…I guess you were just joking, huh?
I Love It!
LOL! Life is so absurd! This could be dialogue written by Kurt Vonnegut:)
Hope the noise has stopped by now… how annoying!
Seinfeld… love Kramer… don’t remember the salt machine episode… someone refresh my memory, please… it’s driving me crazy.
Pia:
Talk about lessons in idiocy. This is a good example of bureaucracy when it’s at its least efficient.
I have really come to enjoy your writing and posting these past few months. To make it easier for me to find you, I have linked my site to yours.
Scot
There was a car with an annoying alarm last year. It belonged to someone in the building next door. One night while it was blaring, my husband saw an older lady come out and draw a big note with lipstick on the car. (I’m chuckling at your post above. Don’t tell me you didn’t have something to do with that)
How stupid. As if it’s not enough to complain about the noise, you should know the make, model, serial number, owner, colour.
And then get cut off to boot. Nothing is so maddening.
For some reason…. this makes me love NY more!
Yo Pia! I work at a radio show on wbai 99.5 FM. It’s a youth news show, talks about the community, upcoming rallies, how to improve one’s community from a youth POV. Every friday 9-10 pm!
Peace girl and Congrats to the mention in the LI Press!!
ha ha
I do love NY.
Quiet can be nice but I think sometime then you miss the noise.
C O O L blog!
Man. Caught between a car alarm and calling the city, I’m not sure which option I’d choose. The Ascylla and Charybdis of irritating.
Actonbell,
That’s probably the number one thing I DON’T miss about NYC!
Golly gee. You mean even with that wonderful (!) mayor in office, everything is still SNAFU?
Good to know some things about home never seem to change…
Why, why , WHY do they put usless people on the other end of customer service and help lines?
Is there a requirement in the job description;
“Please do not apply if you are not rude & obnoxious. Only those willing to cut callers connections, ask circle jerk questions and state the obvious need apply.
one of the tenents in my building (who parks near my windows) has a faulty car alarm. instead of being reasonable, and getting it FIXED, they allow it to stay on for hours. INCONSIDERATE JERKS!!
LOL! Great post…totally a Seinfeld episode!
Car alarms…ugh. Wonder if there are any statistics on the number of times a car alarm has sounded due to an actual theft attempt vs just going off because someone accidently bumped into the car?
In reference to QueenBitch’s comment: I’d like the statistics in reference to how many times car alarms have stopped going off because they have been shattered to bits by baseball bats at 4AM?
Great post as usual Pia – does sound exactly like a Seinfeld episode.