What happens when people’s trust in you is violated for one reason or another? This happened awhile ago; nothing to do with anybody on the Internet, but it has haunted me.
I had a friend that I had stopped really trusting or caring about. Something about her was totally off; she drove Rafe insane who is usually the last person to be annoyed by peoples quirks. I mean he’s my other best friend, besides Lucia who liked her but found something not right,
I got Allyson, not her real name, a job for a friend in a completely different social circle. Allison knows all the people involved though not well.
Allyson is an actress and apparently a better one than I had thought. Though I knew her to be a drama queen I didn’t realize that she would pretend I had told her certain things because she wanted the information that I hadn’t given her. The truly funny and sad thing is I don’t even remember what she wanted to know; just that it was unimportant; I never told her anything, and it cost me two friends and four more good acquaintainces.
I was loyal to her when my other friend, the one I really like, confronted me. It was very awkward, and I didn’t really know what to do.
Later, I asked Allyson why she had done what she did.
“I was really curious. Does it matter? It was just in fun.”
“No, Allyson, it wasn’t fun. It cost me friendships.”
“Then they weren’t real friendships.”
Not a good answer. Later Allyson picked a fight with me and I broke off the friendship because it had been so unrewarding, and as time went on I began to realize how much those friendships, and contacts to be frank, had meant to me.
Then I began my blog which has felt like a full time job at times, and I thought about it as little as possible. But I feel a need to resolve this, and to explain. But I think it might be too late; it was over a year ago.
If anybody has any advice, I am open to suggestions.