Courting’s good friend, Anna, has already solved oneÂ huge computer problem today, so we’re not going to askÂ her for helpÂ againÂ until tomorrow!Â Anna’s a great writer and blog designer.Â Because she is so good at both, she is the only person who has helped me understand the mysteries of HTML and WP2
Loved this article by Julia Glass, Meanwhile what is truth?Â SheÂ write fiction which presents metaphorical truths at least, but it’s never presented as pure fact.Â Though I thought she made some excellent points, I believe that a memoirist has a responsibility to present perceived truth.Â Several hours does not equal several days, and can’t be perceived as such.Â It’s out of the realm of believability unless the author has some kind of mental disorder.
For some reason somebody nominated Courting for a Koufax award, best writing, blog.Â Will try to put this on the side bar tomorrow.Â There’s no way we can win this as other contenders write for The Daily Kos and other big blogs.Â Sheer numbers helps them win.Â
We don’t believe in pitting bloggers against each other in nominations.Â Yet we feel since the “big blogs” make money while we lose money blogging, we need all the recognition we can get.Â Sue us, at least we’re honest.Â We have been at our desk doing blogging stuff since nine AM and now it’s 3:52 PM. Since we don’t take breaks except for an ocassional email, that’s an entire working day.Â And we haven’t even begun to work on our memoir, and do other things
Also and this is important.Â For a long long time, Courting was the radical right’s favorite target.Â We have been humiliated, made fun of, called “stupid” and so many other things–our BIO post yesterday touched on that.Â We grew scared that only radical rightists and a few good people would comment on Courting.Â We took on each challenge though our stomach would become sick. So when The Daily Kos says that they can’t understand why some people were nominated, we say, try to look at life in our shoes
When my sister and I were children we would ask my dad to play the tape of my adoption over and over again.Â My sister was born to my parents two years and one week after I was adopted.
My sister was a typical younger sister. She tormented me and copied me.Â Her daughter does that to her now. so she understands how revolting it was
But I was the golden haired chosen child.Â Though my parents presented being adopted as normal, my agency social worker had written the book The Chosen Child.Â Whether that was good or bad, I don’t know.Â My sister cried because she wanted to be adopted also!Â She got over that.
When I was eleven or twelve I went through my father’s files.Â He had the whole story written with one more pivotal detail: “adopted for the usual reasons.”Â I had read Peyton Place; I knew that meant I was born out of wedlock*Â
I was forever cured of the notion that my mother was a princess and my father was a prince and their kingdoms couldn’t meet.Â My father told me years later that he probably left it where I could easily find it.Â I was, also, forever cured of snooping.Â If people want me to know something, I think they will tell me sooner or later.Â
I can say without Freying that I never went though any of my boyfriends things.Â While I have a myriad of neuroses, I have never been jealous.Â Guess I was too loved as a child for that.Â Â
Am very out of it today so I’m going to ping myself.Â This pings to something my dad wrote the day after they brought me home from the foster home.Â It is very beautiful and makes me feel joyful.
Â *Stupid expression, “out of wedlock,” as is “illegitimate.”Â We’re all legitimate.Â For that matter, I hate the word “adoption” being used for pets.Â
Yes humans are animals, and yes some people treat their pets better than they do their children. That doesn’t make it right. Perhaps if some of the language of adoption was changed people would see it as normal.
Whenever I hear anybody say “I want one of my own,” I cringe.Â I was my parents child. They are my only parents as far as i”m concerned.Â Â Do believe very strongly in open records.Â Without them we are our own mystery.
It’s hard enough being young with the added very real burden of “who am I?” Doesn’t matter how much you are loved or anything.Â Without that knowledge life becomes more difficult.Â I accepted the fact that I might never know while in my 20′s. Didn’t relate to most people in adoption groups.Â They were too bitter and angry for me.Â But I had always known and had always been loved
Have come to believe that every pregnancy no matter how planned is a miracle.Â Who knows what sperm will meet what egg? Same with in-vitro; we can control certain aspects but not who the child will be. Personally I hope that never comes to be.
Also while I am a big believer in adoption; I will always believe in a woman’s right to choose.Â Who are we to tell other people that they must obey our moral values?Â Yes, thou shall not kill; a living being. Won’t go the next step here to Terri, plenty of time for that next month.Â
This is about me, me, me.Â It’s about my incredible family, including my sister who no longer cries because she wasn’t adopted.
If you don’t like my moral stances, don’t comment.Â It’s that simple