I wish it had never happened. I wish I could think about it in a real, authentic way and not either start crying or trek to Pakistan to personally kill bin Laden. I wish that a friend of mine from high school hadn’t killed himself the night of September 10th, 2001. I wish I wasn’t a New Yorker and didn’t cut to my soul with the fall of the Twin Towers.

But I write this and realize I’m lying. I’m glad I connect to this event because I know it will never have the faux meaning that the senationalists want it to have for me. I know that, like you, my pain is based on my growth in this city. I don’t want it trivialized and I don’t want it reinflicted every time someone wants to post ratings, TV or political.

But you are right Pia. There’s a lot of great cities out there with great things to offer. I’m partial to San Fran (where most of my NYer friends move after NYC) or Baltimore (Bawlmer hon’). Leaving New York is an exciting idea and I think you should embrace it. You’ll miss it, but you can visit. Or watch Law & Order.

drained and losing steam…best of luck pia…

Yes, come one come all to my virtual B-Day Party… I promise a good time… as virually possible…

I was in Baltimore on 9/11. I had friends who worked in the Twin Towers (all either away for meetings or not yet arrived on the day of) and I had other friends on their way to the Towers for meetings. I think that makes me pretty lucky. But the scar that is our empty skyline haunts me.

I remember the first time I came back to New York after 9/11. I was on Amtrak, heading into the city at sunset. When the train was passing through north Jersey, about to cross the river, I looked out the window and I didn’t know where I was. I honestly did not recognize NYC without the Twin Towers dominating the skyline. This wasn’t New York, this wasn’t where I was raised.

That hasn’t changed in the four plus years since the attack. It still cuts me to walk past the whole that is Ground Zero. I’m enraged to see Asian and African immigrants hawking Twin Towers memorabilia alongside the Towers. I’m going to have to find a way to deal with that, as I’m moving down to West St at the end of the month and I’ll inevitably walking past Ground Zero more often.

Watching movies shot in NY before 9/11 is hard for me — I get filled with rage seeing shots of the Twin Towers the way they should be standing. Spike Lee’s intro to 25th Hour, with the light monumet to the Towers does the same.

I think you’re right Pia. 9/11 did irrevocable damage to the souls of New Yorkers. It’s not something people who never got to see our city with the Twin Towers standing will ever understand. While I was living in Hawaii, a lot of my friends and coworkers would ask about 9/11 and if the loss of the towers made that much of a difference. I’d tell them that our skyline was our soul and now something was missing. They’d understand how it hurt us, but not get that it was truly their loss too.

I hope you find a living situation that works. This city is too damned expensive and there’s no harm in leaving. You’ll always be a New Yorker, leaving never changes that…

As a current resident of So Cal (San Diego county) I would welcome you here with open arms. It’s kiind of pricey here too, but not nearly the baggage that NYC carries with it- by that I mean the constant feelings surrounding 9-11.

Not to imply that I forget the tragedy of that day- I think of it regularly, and what the implications of that day has brought to our lives and our world. But I don’t have to walk by the places it happenned day in and day out- a chance to focus on all the other problems and yes, the good things too.

Come to SoCal- I’ll help you unpack.

Come to Santa Fe. On a good day, you might see Kevin Bacon (my husband saw him last week) buying fresh produce at a roadside market.

The air is clean, and the light is breath taking. It feels healthy to live here.
(sorry didnt mean to sound like a tourist ad)

I do think you’d like it though.