I like my blog, eccentric as it is. It fits me. But when I read the first–267 Technorati* I began to think that I’m going about this all wrong. First, I had a heard time clicking “with a lot of authority,” because I was sure that we wouldn’t be there–me and my personas. We were. Should I think more or less of myself for being there? I must add that when I went further into the list I saw blogs with much “better” big T’s than mine including The Daily Kos which I don’t consider to be a grass roots blog because people do get paid, comments don’t have to be answered and they are holier than thou.

Then I saw other blogs with better big T’s that basically consist of links to other blogs and MSM. Shit, that’s easy. I could do that every day in half hour because I am a good researcher. I could even tie it all together better than most of the blogs I read through because I’m good at that. Then I saw blogs with two thirds less links than mine, all under “a lot of authority.” Don’t think that is a relevant category.

Second: Should I accept sponsorship? If I accept the first of my two offers I would have to be all politics basically The First Amendment all the time. If I accept the second, I would have to be all personal all the time. Neither seems right to me.

I like to write about what I want to write about when I want to. I like writing more than almost anything else in the world. I enjoyed being a reporter but made my editor grade my work In many senses blogging provides that grading I obviously crave, but it’s been two years, and I crave more. Yes in my heart of hearts, I’m a blood sucking vulture who craves both attention and money. Personally I can’t do a donation thing though I more than understand why people do. Nor obviously can I accept sponsorship.

This post is one of the best that I have ever written, I think, but I also think it’s politically incorrect as I disagree with a post in The Huffington Post, agree with Murdoch and….I’m in a very good and strange mood so I’m about to put all my cards on the table. If you like Courting and think that the personal stories should be reworked into a book, leave a comment or send me an email. If you think the rest should be a book, do the same, though even I have difficulties framing a book from the non-personal stories. Maybe a book of essays. Personally I want to focus on fiction, podcasts, and my photoblog.

But the Regan story, and I do believe her to be the villain not OJ in this particular mess, has grabbed my attention in a way that politics can’t. Why? She has long exemplified everything that is wrong with media, and America to me. She exemplifies our culture of “me, me, and more me.” Oh yes I know I write about myself and many people believe me to be a whiny New Yorker who only cares about myself. That isn’t true. But people believe what they want to believe.

Also I love getting comments, months after the post, on such things as Allied Interstate which scammed me for $47. I allowed it because the amount was too small to dispute, and I knew that I have a blog people do read, and it can be a venting and info center for people who are being scammed by Allied–a company that is allowed to skirt laws legally, harass people with illegal phone calls, garnish bank accounts and pay checks. The government doesn’t have the power that Allied seems to have.

I do want to spend the rest of my life calling attention to such problems because they are serious. It took me most of a day to find out what they wanted from me, and then to find a number to actually pay them. They obviously would have preferred that I didn’t so they could have taken legal action for $47 in magazine subscriptions I never ordered. Would anybody like my subscription to Car & Driver? I neither drive nor care about cars yet I paid for a magazine that I never ordered. And a few more.

Yet in this topsy turvy world I feel that Courting might be a “high authority blog,” but is really less important than any entertainment blog or ones that discuss pop culture only. I loved pop culture but in the past few years feel that it has gone over the top, and we have people such as Judith Regan leading the way. I so hope that she really falls.

Blogging is a game that I play well. Most of us don’t get paid but pay for the privilege. So why is there so much competition among bloggers? There are so many wonderful things about blogging, and yet blogging has begun to feel like a race to nowhere. And I don’t race.