I was going to spend a rainy day doing something productive like filling my Ipod Touch with music. We have been having an incredibly rainy day–of course on the day South Carolina declared a drought emergency–and I spent most of it having a nervous breakdown as I was asked for something important that would have been impossible for me to have.
Ever since I wrote the article about NLD I have assumed that people think I’m a screw up. For a person who has always self blamed, well me thought I was getting away from that but on days like today where the lazy river is pack to pack, wall to wall, filled with people desperately trying to hold on as the current is more rapid than a lazy river is supposed to be, I fall into that space called almost self-hatred. Then I make myself laugh so….
Four years ago today I began this blog never suspecting that it would take on a life of its own and sometimes be bigger than me. Irony of ironies: I wanted an intimate audience and found a large one.
I pulled away. Life is supposed to be lived, not blogged or twittered or….Now I need an audience and can’t make a decision without consulting my best friend and at least five other people.
I’m going to spend the next ten days finally relaxing and go back to New York to do everything that must be done and you can’t begin to imagine how my calender is tripled booked and that’s not my view but in view. And I have only watched The View when C or my sister, Elka, force me to. C is my landlord and a sister and sista as she’s my bff Lucia’s sister. Lucia has heard from me too often today.
Jason thank you. When my blog is finally redone ,and Jess has been working very hard–my server’s been down and other problems that have nothing to do with me or her, I will give out the Delete Award–I treasure it for many reasons but somebody giving me an award called “Delete?” It’s funny even to me, but Jason is right–I don’t do politics very often, anymore. Though if there’s a floor fight for the Democratic nomination I might become crazed and I just don’t have the time or mental energy for that.
Hillary lost. I hope people can accept that as if they don’t we deserve to lose the general election
My original URL freenynyfrombushtoday.blogspot.com was a protest against the RNC in New York. I knew less than nothing about blogging and didn’t realize Blogger wouldn’t let you change URL’s. Or that people read blogs.
How was I supposed to know? Most people in my age group didn’t know what a blog was. And thus ends my yearly speech. I will probably post when Jess completes the redesign and on 9/11 for this 9/11 will be the last I will be living in the apartment I was in that day.
Many people refuse to admit how much things changed in New York. They refuse to admit that the price of housing and people’s incomes bore no relation to each other. It was stupid.
Oh yes, she can say that, she did well, you think. I made my price reasonable, really. And think it’s really cool that I’m selling to economists–well, they do other things, but of course I googled them.
Me to my sister: I googled the husband.
Elka: You found a husband on Google? Eddie, Pia, no you didn’t really…
My sister wants me to get married and obviously doesn’t care where he comes from. Elka and Eddie are spending the rest of their time in the Hamptons–where they met—figuring out the logistics of a Google match.
I can’t write half decently right now. It’s so hard to focus when everything in my life is about to change. For good, but…..