Tomorrow night will be eighteen years since you left this earth. I hope you found a better place where all your friends and relatives will recognize you whether or not they knew you with your moustache. Only you would seriously ask me (when perfectly physically healthy and mentally healthy for you) if you should shave half your moustache so when you reached the other side people who knew you before would recognize you….

Eighteen years and I miss you more than ever. Truthfully I didn’t miss you for years as I believed you were ready to die–always complaining about your forever gone friends and family–and it seemed to me selfish to want you alive.

I thought you were very old. Now 77 is the new beginning of old age. Oh lets get onto something less depressing.

I moved into my house last Thursday. Lucia came from NY, for the weekend, just to help me. CLo and her husband W came from Atlanta. They were beyond selfless and I’m so grateful. You taught me to be a good friend and that lesson has paid off in spades.

The town I live in has a Wal Mart. I was looking at the 40th of an aisle devoted to Passover and they had Yazeirt candles which aren’t used on Passover but are used on death anniversary’s. I took it as a sign that for once I should be a good daughter and i bought one. I so hope I remember to light it tonight.

I’m exhausted and not in the mood to write. I can’t do you or me or anybody justice and I have to see how much money I have lost in three hours. It’s like a game this money losing thing. Once I made money and now…It’s not the stock market you loved. It’s stacked against all but who work in the highest Wall Street positions Oh let me shut up.

I don’t know if they celebrate death days where ever you are. If they do I hope you get to have a perfect day or maybe they all are. Like you I want to believe…