I think the heat spell is ending. I would say it’s been the least productive month of my life as I couldn’t write. But. I mucked around in my crawl space, discovered a flood–nipped it, I hope–take that all the sides of me that thought I would fail home ownership.

Obsessively straightened out closets as an antidote to “I’m losing my mind. All my great lines have been written by me already and I’m too lazy to look at my writings and get them in order.”

Basically felt lazy except for cleaning closets and ordering a friend who came from Baltimore to go to Pawley’s Island, Brookgreen Gardens (highly recommend the pontoon ride in the rice fields–perfect for the hottest day. Though the two and a half hours of walking around after the ride was a bit too much.) Aside from making him go to almost every beach on the South Carolina Grand Strand thought I would make him go to the North Carolina beaches. If he comes to visit again it will be a miracle as I was an interesting combination of hyper and spacey.

Gardened like crazy. Learned that you really shouldn’t have annuals here because most wilt in 100 degrees.

Bought canning cans and look at them. Scared to start the disinfecting process though I know it’s real simple as I read the direction in Real Simple. Still.

Read more books in a month than I have all year. Think this had a lot to do with being away from the computer.

A keyboard died of heat related factors. Learned you just can’t go to a neighborhood store and get a Mac compatible keyboard as you can in NY. In NY of course you have your choice of Apple stores too. Somehow this memory, and I love Apple stores, brought back the reasons I left

Became one with my stability ball. Would take it out at night and look at my deck upside down. Very relaxing. Unfortunately when Noel came it became too hot. He’s the last person I know to smoke and I would actually sit in the garden and talk to him as I learned that extremely high humidity and very high temperatures don’t make all smells exaggerated but seems to eat the smoke. This I didn’t know. We didn’t get into pesky “smoke in the house” issues as there’s no house he’s allowed to smoke in. I found an ashtray I bought in NY because it was pretty.

I learned I can’t eat pancakes and other foods that aren’t good for me. Whether this is permanent or a byproduct of the heat I don’t know yet.

I would have to say June 2010 was one of the strangest months of my life, and love to hear about how other people found it strange.

Oh just to make this clear–I do love heat. But I’m convinced this heat spell was a byproduct of the Gulf disaster. Don’t ask me to be rational about it. It just felt strange. Very strange!

And I hope we have lots of lightening tonight I can watch and daydream to.

Happy Birthday America! May you become the country I know you can be; and there be jobs for all.
No CLo, I’m not becoming a teaparty person just because sometimes I take my chair behind beach bars and listen to the music. I don’t quite get the connection but hey I was slow this month.

I’m reaching a stage in life where I think I should be mature and wise. And I’m not. I wonder how many people truly are.
It’s 94 feels like 103 which isn’t as bad as yesterday’s 97 feels like 107. I can’t be turning into somebody who can’t take heat; I can’t. Though this heat feels different. Read the post and see how. It also colors the tone of the post. Sorry
This state’s a frigging embarrassment. I had no idea that Spirit Air was my lifeline until it went on strike. Of course I had no idea it was going on strike until my friend called from Atlanta to say she couldn’t get here as her husband had been relying on Spirit to get back.

I looked in all last Friday’s newspapers here. Nothing about the strike in the print version of the Sun News. Nothing anywhere.

Then of course there’s the candidate from hell. Poor man probably doesn’t even realize he’s supposed to lose to DeMint. South Carolina bought voting machines from Ohio. Ohio, state of massive voter fraud in 04.

Ever since Westboro I have been feeling alienated. Where I come from we don’t turn the other cheek. Where I come from we believe in debate and protest.

But I moved here. And it’s hot. Not as hot as it was on Sunday or Monday but even inside with AC I feel the need for more and more water. I don’t like AC though it’s the one thing I won’t be green on and will put down to whatever I feel like. In a normal year there are a few months where you need neither heat nor AC. This year there was only one.
I like heat. But except for nights, the air hits me in a way I’m not used to. Then when I come in I sneeze. And sneeze. And sneeze. Couldn’t figure it out until I saw the pollen report. It’s very high which is strange as pollen is supposed to stagnate when the temp becomes high. Apparently the long winter has done something weird. Or something.
But there’s no such thing as climate change. Oh don’t get me started. I’m feeling very “L”"J” today. Neither are good in South Carolina.

Yes I do take it take personally!!!!!

I’m having friends come–by car–next week and am focusing on my book. Unfortunately this blog is like a nervous tic. Something I have to keep up. So…

I haven’t seen my friend Noel who is coming next week in quite awhile. He asked if my musical taste was still eclectic. It is but “Ophelia” has been my absolute favorite song for the past two years–and Levon Holm’s taking over Warren Zevon’s spot as inspiration

So, somewhere in the archives is a sorta transcript of a sorta actual conversation my mother and I had only using the word “so.” We could tell what the other was really saying from each so’s inflection. OK we were a bit extreme but we weren’t alone in using the word “so.”

I’m having a hard time focusing on my memoir and I can’t blame 92 degrees at 7PM. Actually that I can–weather like this makes me hyper. It’s good for house projects. Don’t ask. And don’t ask about my need to drink seltzer with ginger powder. That was an integral part of a post I threw out and means absolutely nothing in this one. Oh the vanity of the long time blogger.

No I have been going through a crisis of “my birthday’s in a month and a few weeks and I haven’t accomplished anything important with my life.” It’s a pivotal birthday. One that makes 50 look like a walk in the park.

I fear that I’m becoming old and my experiences aren’t relevant anymore. That the gist of the stories buried within these pages are sooo yesterday.

I understand why I’m going through this and a lot of it has to do with being burnt. I thought it was almost four years ago that I found out about non verbal learning disorder (nld) but it’s only been going on three years. The same year I decided it was time to get out of Dodge, renovated to sell, sold, bought a house, renovated, lost a lot of my resources, and well….It finally hit me this past month….

I no longer live in Manhattan. As crazy as it made me it was my identity. If I accomplished nothing with my life I was a great New Yorker. Yesterday I saw an ad for menupages and almost began to cry. I consulted it as if it were the bible. With menupages you didn’t need to have ten restaurants on speed dial though of course I did.

It’s different here. I couldn’t really serve my Anna Nicole Smith Trailer Park Dinner, that later became the Anna Nicole Smith Memorial Trailer Park Dinner. I no longer eat hamburgers, wouldn’t serve on the styrofoam containers, and people here are a bit more politically correct in someways or at least more material in very strange ways. The Anna Nicole Smith Memorial Trailer Park Dinner wouldn’t be funny.

OK honestly only Rafe found it funny. Lucia was aghast that I would serve company on styrofoam, but I would use company napkins. Made of paper yet pretty.

Now I use real plates, and cloth napkins and it’s better for the environment but I’m beginning to feel that we’re doomed anyway so why….

I didn’t use these things often in New York as I owned neither a dishwasher nor a washer/dryer. I don’t miss that part. No not at all. Though I’ve been trying to find a clothes line and can’t find one at Wal Mart. I might have to go online. It will be so nice to have clothes dried outdoors.

I like it here. I certainly like being able to walk to the beach when I want or not walk to the beach and read in one of my decks. I like the friends I have made and the friends who are coming.

But Pia doesn’t live in New York anymore, has done absolutely nothing of worth with her life, and was already an adult when her parents, who had children late for then, were her age.

For somebody who has done nothing of worth with my life I’ve done a lot in the past three years and am so mentally fatigued I can’t tell when I’m writing something good or not. This is a half pity party. Half just the truth. I don’t use “so,” on my own. I use “just.” I’m going to stop that. Just as soon as I find what’s left of my mind.

I want to write fiction as I love it but feel a memoir has a much better chance of being published. I’m just so over myself