I have been sick all week. It began innocently enough.Though I say last Friday I now realize my voice had sounded, all week, to me like the voice of a person who never speaks and I speak a lot. But nobody else caught it and people here will catch everything though in the sweeter than cotton candy sweet tea Southern manner.

On late Friday afternoons I meet with a group of women for cocktails. They find me funny. Lil Red makes me repeat stories I told her such as the time my next door neighbor, known far and wide as The Professor because he actually was one at The Citadel, had his girlfriend visit for a couple of weeks. They would never use his pick-up that was parked in the communal court lot while her MG was in front of his house.

I watched in fascination as a spider-web grew from a tree to the MG. Then I went away. Eldon, the contractor turned handyman/friend was guarding my house and I told him about the spiderweb and about how the Professor, in his 70′s, diabetic, brilliant and a functional alcoholic, and the girlfriend never left the house. The Professor never walks anywhere; he’s a one man advertisement for staying in or getting into shape. Eldon didn’t believe me.

The first thing, the very first thing Eldon said to me when I came home after ten days was “go look at the spiderweb.” It had tripled in size. For some reason Lil Red and then the rest of the girls–Lil Red’s the youngest then me–found this hilarious. I have a growing audience for my stories here.

After drinks last Friday I didn’t feel well but assumed it was a quickly formed hangover. I’m not a great drinker. But the next morning it felt like a migraine that was getting worse all day–and it was damn beautiful out. By Sunday I realized it was evolving into something bronchial and was so happy when Clo called to cancel the barbecue I was supposed to have and had done nothing for.

Monday, Memorial Day, I couldn’t get out of bed. Kept telling myself what a gorgeous day it was, there were two chaise lounges with new cushions, a swing and a glider just calling my name. But I couldn’t make it the 20 steps from the bed to the chaise though I knew the hot drenching sun would dry my sinuses, nourish my spirit and soul. Though dry sinuses sounded very enticing it wasn’t enough to get me outdoors. And I moved partially for a yard! Couldn’t care less about spirit or soul except in the “if I die and there is a sweet hereafter, I hope…” Cynic that I am I couldn’t even muster guilt about never having believed.

i had been to the doctor Friday morning and spent a lot of Monday cursing him. I thought about going to an Urgent Care, something I had never even heard of four years ago, but couldn’t muster the energy or the will and the thought of the wait to see a doctor on a holiday when everybody would be coming with heat related problems, fire cracker accidents, grilling accidents, too much time in ponds and the ocean…..The whole world was out having fun and all I could think of was what an encumbrance they would be.

Eldon called. Apparently I now had laryngitis. About every third word I said was coherent. I told Eldon to call about 9 in the morning on Tuesday and I would tell him if I needed to go to the doctor.

But it came out that I wanted to go to the doctor the next morning at 9. I didn’t realize that until Eldon showed up the next morning….I wasn’t fine then but was sure that I would live and antibiotics weren’t necessary. I believe one day something horrible will happen and only antibiotics will cure it and only if I hadn’t taken them in years.

After I bought new cushions for the pub table chairs and upstairs glider, I spent the rest of the day, lying on a chaise or the downstairs swing, reading Scott Turow’s Innocent. It’s a truly beautifully written book with characters I actually cared about. It’s mature writing and I enjoyed it. Now I have to reread PPresumed Innocent which I do remember but it’s been awhile.

I would check my computer every hour. I wish I could get away from the computer for a week. A month would be perfect. But so much of my life’s on it.

I quickly came out of the feeling of suspended animation. I’m just sick enough to be in a bad mood if that makes any sense.

I feel badly that I haven’t been to the beach but the thought of carrying my Tommy Bahama beach beach backpack on my back (it’s virtually weightless) is too much. On the other hand I have spent a lot of time watering my plants and vegetables. By next week the vegetables should be popping.

I missed the limitations as the thought of being near liquor and cigarettes doesn’t sit well with me right now. Lil Red doesn’t smoke; the rest do.

On Thursday I’m getting my first group of summer visitors. It makes me happy when my house is filled. It does.