I’m keeping this blog though I post infrequently as I have kept up very few things for seven years and am determined…..Though I suppose Psychology Today could be a natural outgrowth.
Last week my birth cousin called to say that my birth mother had passed on. I thought it brave and wonderful of my cousin to call me. I didn’t expect to feel the emotions that have been flooding through me ever since.
Sad mostly. Vindicated as my cousins told me that what I wrote about her was true. But still I can’t help but think if I had been a warmer person, if I had been more charming, more something she would have liked me.
I have been reading more than I have in years. I thought the Internet stole my passion for books but it hasn’t. Basically I take most every selection Vanity Fair and some other magazines give and have Amazon ship them.
I know I have insulted people by using the word “retarded.” I don’t see the horror in the word.
Because I was diagnosed so late with nonverbal learning disorder I didn’t have the vocabulary to explain it properly. Actually I still don’t. So I call myself spatially retarded because truthfully I am.
And truthfully I guess I envy young people who do have the vocabulary and don’t feel shame in not knowing things or guilt about not knowing other things. It’s not an easy road I travel yet I have for many years and hope to for many more. This time with proper vocabulary and a map if that’s at all possible
It’s been hard to write and now I have an excuse–the death of Bio Mom, and I do mean that with respect. So this morning I wrote half of a first draft of my next post for PT. I have also begun outlining my book. I hope it’s a productive summer!
I’m so sorry for the sadness you’re feeling, Pia. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Just take care, go easy on yourself, and know it’s ok to feel whatever you feel.
(Also, I think I have pretty much the same reason for keeping my blog at this point.)
my condolences of course, it’s a difficult loss when one was never sure what one is losing.
I look forward to your writings as always and my productiveiy be your middle name.
Maybe not the appropriatest post to say happy birthday on, but there you have it. I’m inappropriate. Happy birthday.
thanks Doug. I’m more than a bit overwhelmed, in a great way, by all that’s been happening in my life recently–my birth cousins are awesome. Not that my other cousins aren’t