NLD might be the backdrop in the book I’m writing. Or might not be as I really don’t know how much it affected the choices I made prior to learning about NLD.
I decided to put this post in here as I wrote my first posts about NLD in Courting. And I’m using a computer that’s not image friendly and I need images in psychology today.
I don’t know if I would publicly come out as having nonverbal learning disorder (NLD) if I had that choice again.
I did it because I wanted both help, and to learn as much as I could about NLD.
I made more mistakes in the four years after learning about NLD than I did in the entirety of my entire adult life prior to knowing about NLD.
Unfortunately as I’m older now these mistakes might cost me the very comfortable older life that I was ensured until I learned about NLD, and lost my remaining confidence.
I gave my (not very ample) resources to somebody else to manage just as the recession was officially beginning but you and I didn’t realize it then. I took the resources back but the damage was done.
Prior to knowing about NLD I wasn’t a very trusting person. Not being a trusting person is a good thing when everyone, and their grandmother is trying to sell you some more sophisticated variant of The Brooklyn Bridge.
And that’s the uncomplicated part!
The more complicated part, that I still struggle with, is trusting people I have met through Facebook.
I’m not talking about being catfished or sending a stranger a thousand dollars because said stranger has a great sob story. I would deserve any heartache that causes.
I’m specifically talking about getting a message two years ago from a woman who had just returned from a conference where she spoke.
At that conference she met a psychologist well known in NLD circles. He asked her if she knew me. Apparently he asks everyone who might know me that question.
When she said yes he proceeded to make much fun of me. But don’t worry she defended me. She told me that she wanted me to make fun of somebody in his life so she just had to tell me….
Does she honestly think I’m that naive? Or maybe she is. I don’t care about being defended; I care about what was said. Or that I would want to make fun of somebody else?
Like any semi-normal person I want to know how I was defamed. I don’t put my ears in the sand. Though I admit that would be both easy and fun.
I don’t make fun of people. That hasn’t been fun since college: the early years.
She couldn’t tell me what was said. Her future career is on the line.
I don’t know how many people he has spoken to about me, nor do I know what was said, but I’m supposed to worry about her.
This woman speaks out against bullying. Does she not see that by telling me he made fun of me but not saying what he said, she took all power away from me?
The last time I was bullied, before this, was in Eighth Grade. I forgave those people because uh they were thirteen.
Will I forgive an adult? That depends.
Will I forgive an adult who is supposed to be a mental health professional? Never.
I’m not a cruel person. I gave her a chance to explain why she did what she did to me. Had she come up with a story, basically any story, I would have forgave her. But she ignored me.
In the past two years I have relegated myself to the fringes of the NLD “community.”
I have a great life filled with great people. I’m writing a book that’s actually fun for me to write.
It shows my sense of humor. I have one in case you have been wondering. Sometimes during NLD days I wondered if I had lost it.
It shows my intelligence. Yes, I am.
I’m also insightful. I would have a drawer filled with performance reviews attesting to that if I could only keep my drawers organized. Now I know—scan, scan, scan. But in the pre–scan days…..
I have always been able to see beyond the obvious (another expression for “insightful.”) But I found myself becoming more and more NLD’d after I learned about it.
The night of the messages was the night I began taking my power back.
I started, once again, becoming the strong person I always was.
So thank you woman who thought it would be fun to tell me I had been made fun of.
I know I told you I would never talk about this but it’s fun, and you’re all about fun.
No that’s not the reason I’m talking now. I’m talking because enough time has elapsed for that psychologist to like or not like you based on your own merits.
I’m talking now because you did a horrible thing. Something that hurt me beyond words, and then expected me to remain silent.
You’re not my boss. You have no power over me. I don’t know what you thought of me, but it couldn’t have been flattering.
People who did what you did must think that all people with NLD are shallow, rules followers who obey authority without thinking. Only what makes you “authority?” And why would I ever blindly follow any other person?