It’s not hard for me to understand fear.
Seeing a doctor for the first time.
Seeing a dentist for the first time.
Dinner parties where people, I don’t know or don’t know well, sit at large rectangular tables.
Events like Blogher.
Anyplace I think I’m going to be judged, and judged harshly. Though I know that not to be true. I think.
Learning to drive.
Motorcycles—though I’m not sure if I really fear them or my mother hypnotized me into thinking I fear them.
Beets, anchovies and herring. (Really). If anybody ever gave me a plate with all three on it I would probably throw up, and thus take to my bed, and never go out again (shame, that great useless friend).
But I don’t fear terrorist attacks. Last week I felt PTSD’d because I did live in Manhattan and when you lived in Manhattan then you couldn’t feel fear. The PTSD was more about what could have happened then what did happen.
I had planned to stay here for Thanksgiving not because I fear terrorist attacks or planes but because I hate traveling around Thanksgiving. Hate and fear are two very different emotions.
I hate crowds, and if I go to NY I have to come back from LaGuardia, an airport that should have been closed for sheer grossness years ago. I love New York more than I can say but never around holiday time. Well, the night before Thanksgiving when the floats are being blown up is incredible. And Thanksgiving with family is priceless. But the crowds….
If I take the bus to Atlanta it’s crowded, and not fun. Last year I sat next to a woman who was bringing what felt like two weeks worth of very smelly food.
If I take the plane, the 35 minute ride gets stretched to between seven and fifteen hours. Atlanta’s a very nice airport but I mastered the subways and terminals years ago.
It’s not a time I want to go on vacation as its overpriced, and for amateurs. Sort of like any Saturday night in New York.
Apparently we risk more when we walk around our own couch or bureau.
Write down your own fears. It’s OK to fear being hit in the toe by a coffee table. I’ve sorta maybe broken my toe more times than I can count.
But fearing terrorists? It happens. But so far the number of people that have been killed in the western world by terrorist has been truly minimal–and I include The World Trade Center. It could have been so much worse. But it wasn’t.
Don’t waste your fears. Each of us is given a limited number of fears before we’re deemed crazy by the people around us. And that is my biggest fear of all. And should be yours.