This is beyond raw. I needed to get it out, and to post it as the past month–since Pulse–has been one for the records. I am emotionally and physically drained.
I come in peace.
I’m a Northerner who lives in the South, and loves my life here. I really do.
Being that I don’t drive, and the one bus stopped operating for the recession just after I bought my house and never began again, I take cabs a lot.
My fridge broke, and I bought a new one. But it was hot, and I had to throw out almost everything in it. By the time I was able to go food shopping it was three PM, and as everyone who knows me knows my heart belongs to one supermarket, Publix, which was a bit too far to walk to in over 90 degree heat.
So I called the cab company. The owner, Mike, a friend, wasn’t going to pick me up because they had too many people to bring to 4 PM shift changes at work. True, work comes first, but I sweet talked Mike into picking me up. Well, no, I said he had to. But anyway….
I share cabs with a lot of the people who are going or coming from work. I don’t know the exact number but I know why most aren’t driving and are taking a cab; they lost their licenses for a DWI (driving while intoxicated).
Mike’s a really good person, but we have opposite views on just about everything except music, and even then…He lets some of the people taking cabs because of their DWI’s pay him in restaurant coupons and stuff like that though I know how much he needs the money.
Philando Castile was stopped by police, while driving, at least 52 times. As far as I can tell not one was for a DWI. I think that’s much more serious than a broken tail light or not wearing a seat belt—though because there are so many DWIs here I put one on if I’m going two blocks.
People are talking about his record, and how he ain’t no choirboy. Really? Being stopped 52 times for inconsequential “offenses” gives him a horrible record? Makes him a criminal? The rumor that he was a suspect in an armed robbery is totally false.
I think it’s because he was DWBWD (driving while Black with dreadlocks). It wasn’t because he didn’t show respect. It wasn’t because there are certain rules everybody should follow—because if that were true many white people would be killed. Why are the rules so different for Blacks?
So much has begun to scare me. Do I leave the South and my good life for the North where almost everyone thinks like I do? Or Wilmington, NC where I know a number of Northerners.
Do I continue speaking out and risk losing the friends I have made? People I truly like who just happen not to think like me.
Do I stop speaking out on Facebook and in my blogs? Sometimes I’m quiet in person because I’m a wimp but…I even fear people not being comfortable around me because they can’t say what they really think. Yes, I really do think about people being comfortable. When you’re well–mannered real life can include never speaking about politics, religion and I guess, sex.
My family has a long history of speaking our minds. When I was a teenager I cried for days because I was too young to participate in “Freedom Summer.”
Guess what? We’re having another one now. I’m not too young this summer.
But it’s different now. It’s not Blacks and bleeding heart liberals against the KKK.
We’re all decent people. That’s the scary part.
Our mindsets are different. That is all.
I often wonder if I had been born in the South to a non-Jewish family would I feel the way I do? If a certain friend had been born up North would she feel the way she feels?
How do we come together? I no longer can say it’s good to have a day or two of prayer and/or contemplation after a serious incident. There are too many, and while I understand why the people of Charleston acted the way they did last year there were differences.
The main difference being it happened in a church where people forgave, prayed and asked others to do the same.
Does being a person who prays make you a better person? Many people in other incidents were religious but they couldn’t find it in their hearts to forgive so quickly, and how can anybody blame them? All those babies in Sandy Hook?
How can anybody forgive a culture that allowed the death of their child?
The NRA did stretch its muscle after Sandy Hook. We’re probably going to have the first Supreme Court Justice picked by a gun org or any org.
I get the love of guns. I hate them. I wish The Second Amendment had never been written, and I could argue for the rest of my life, what its original intent was, but I get what people think it says. I would never ask people to give up legally acquired guns (though I would love to).
Why was Micah Johnson able to get a SKS semi-automatic assault rifle? I’m a bit lost here. Are they legal? He didn’t speak for the protesters, in Dallas, and I hope people understand that. Yes he killed five innocent police officers and my heart aches for them and their families also.
As has been said many times the past few days we can ache for everybody involved. Except Micah Johnson—can’t find it in my heart.
(I did a Google search, and saw how easily the guns are gotten.)
More importantly how can we live in a culture that doesn’t say “enough, get those guns off the street”.
When are we going to come together as a country, and begin to try to understand each others POV?
I love this country more than you can understand. No, I’m not a flag waver. I never thought that was a requirement. Nor am I a person who prays. Again, I didn’t think that was a requirement. Nor did I think assuming the Black person was guilty of something a requirement.
I thought believing in America, dormant as it might be, was the one and only requirement. It’s past time we allow everyone equal access.