Gross and yick alert. I would take it out but I like it. The next post is GP and much cuter
I was sick Friday night through a few hours ago, frankly. Slept from 10:30 AM Saturday to 5:30 PM without waking up once. I thought it was heaven. Then came Saturday night. I have one of the best inner workings of anybody I know; constipation isn’t a word in my vocabulary.
But I hadn’t moved from my bed except to use the bathrooom, and I have one in the bedroom. Bathrooms are incredibly important to me; obviously more important than kitchens as I have a miniscule though granite floored kitchen and two baths, one is marble and has both a bath and stall shower that I can spend way too much time in.
The bathroom in the bedroom is about twelve feet from the head of the bed. Only when you’re back is hurting so bad you can hardly move, it can take an eternity.
First I was sure that I was suffering from kidney failure, and went through about 20 different emotions as I drifted in and out of sleep. Then I had a really really hard time sleeping. My back hurt too much; I was afraid to take Advil in case it was my kidneys. Damn, I didn’t even think of putting on a magnet thing for cramps; and I really should get a new heating pad.
Then I realized that I was suffering from something I have heard much about from one of my two best friends. The very dreaded Trapped Gas. I have had it once or twice but always on the side, not the entire back where the waist is. This felt deadly but I knew it wasn’t as if I were suffering from kidney failure I wouldn’t want to pee so much.
Though I knew it would be better if I made myself get up; I was just in too much pain. Fortunately I learned the Kegel many years ago, and it came in very handy when I worked in the Bronx.
I am a bathroom snob and no way can I do anything in a dirty bathroom. At the nursing home they got a grant to teach it to the residents but most weren’t able to learn it.
I learned last night that the Kegel done enough, and in much pain, is a thousand times better than a vibrator. It didn’t involve moving, and it made me feel so much better and so much more relaxed that I stopped caring about the pain, got up, walked around and around my apartment, and the trapped gas went completely away. Honestly never realized that the Kegel could do this or anywhere near where I went.
Can’t say I ever want another episode, but I have to figure out some way…..Damn I’m good.
Gawd, I can’t believe how sick this is, and I just don’t care
I’m dying laughing.
Glad you feel better……..
I don’t know what a Kegel is. Not that I’m asking.
OMG—I just went through this with my son. 3+days of it.
Got so bad they did blood tests and x-rays to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis,
As I type this they are doing a report on the Today Show about those damn bed bugs!
Glad you got past it,
I think I can say I know you better today Pia. Almost… too well.
Usually I can imagine you wandering through Manhattan in detail when you write. Yeah. Kegels.
I’m too young.
OK, so I had to Google “Kegel.” I admit i.
I guess the operative benefit is this one:
“kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles of the vaginal canal, and so women who Kegel can, if vaginal stimulation is their choice, and if they do some additional work on themselves, improve their capacity to orgasm by means of vaginal play, in terms of both the intensity and the frequency of their orgasming.”
Vaginal play. Makes it sound like fun. Oh, wait– it is.
Glad you’re feeling better. What is the old saying– Anything that doesn’t kill me, makes me– orgasm? Is that right?
After much consideration, I had just decided NOT to google Kegel when I came across Josh’s comment. Thanks.
Lol…glad to hear you’re feeling better. Like Coop, I’m trying so hard not to laugh my ass off
Yeah, had intestinal problems for most of my childhood, until I finally pinpointed the cause and fixed the prob. That internal stuff is a nightmare.
I’m LMAO… the KEGAL is great during pregnancy as well… just a FYI…
I am at a 100% loss here. We’ve gone from trapped gas to kegels to a vibrator! With all I know about the 3, I can’t imagine them having anything to do with each other, lol.
I’ve always heard to do kegels at red lights. (I should have) I had trapped gas after my gallbladder operation & I think after my c-section, man does it hurt like a bitch!
You’ve got me laughing woman!
LMAO!! Too funny, girl! I feel your pain…had the same problem after surgery. Never thought about doing the kegals though — will have to try during my next tummy bug.
What A SCREAM!!!!
Trapped Gas Erotica! I’m dying!!!!
Little Luce says she won’t eat apples cuz they make her fart. I told her that’s why the saying goes An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away!
I’m rolling!!!!!
OH, Lawzy-mercy. I feel a sinkin’ spell comin’ on. Where are my vapor salts?