As Destiny doesn’t come calling

Things to do on a perfect weather Labor Day

Wake up feeling more energetic than you have in days. Tell yourself it’s good that you missed Rafe’s barbecue. Immediately get stuffed nose and begin to cough.Revise the second half of the fourth chapter. For once you haven’t waited for the Wombat to point out that it needed something. Refuse to use 60’s jargon, except for one word, on the grounds that you always hated it and never used it. Especially that word. It isn’t groovy which is not as gross a word, but not a word you would use.

Write the reunion message for your high school class’s possible reunion. If nobody else goes you know five people who will. Make it funnier than any blog post you have ever written for several reasons:you thought these people hated you in high school when in reality you were Little Miss Snot. Now you’re BFF’s. __High School has been the theme of your year. You want people to see that while you might have been the first hippie in__and the most staunch anti-war person, you do have a sense of humor. Somewhere.

Blast music so that the sounds of construction, yes on Labor Day, will be muffled. Other buildings don’t have the strict rues your coop has. They believe a great time to begin drilling is 7:30 AM on a Sunday, but in the summer when people are supposed to be away. If you’re not away on a summer Sunday, obviously you deserve to be woken up to drilling.

Have several email threads going at once.

Do your monthly Google check, down from weekly, down from daily, down from once every three hours.

Be glad that you did a post about the truly stupid picture in The Daily News You did know you would find it. You just didn’t know it would be picked up by uh several cell technology newsletters.

Get a message on your computer: batteries in mouse critically low. Look to see if mouse is dirty. It isn’t. Open desk drawer. With your new efficient system you know you will find batteries—someday. Find checks you have been looking for.

Become hysterical for a second and open other drawer to look for passport you will need Saturday having misplaced your non-drivers license. Passport is in proper place. (This is how your mind works sober and not medicated.)

Remember that the new efficient you put batteries in a bedroom drawer because you change more batteries there.

Go through all your night table drawers. Go through bedroom dresser drawers. Prepare to be defeated and actually go to Duane Reade for new batteries.

Open top desk drawer once more. The batteries are in the near left corner as they were supposed to be. Wonder if your imaginary friends have become real.

Change batteries. Remember that both positives go toward the front. For the first time in your life change mouse batteries without incident. Actually you just have never remembered before that both positives….

Wonder if being efficient is a good thing or if takes too much time.

Though it’s not hot, your apartment is stifling and your nose is even more stuffed. Attempt to clean AC coils. Wash filters and front casing.

Try to finish a further chapter in your book. Stare at screen and wish a message would come on telling you to do something.

Wonder if you want to take a walk or will be angered by all the people returning from the summer. It’s not them personally you’re angry at but last week was the first time you were in New York in years it was somewhat deserted. You found three separate reason to walk across Central Park to the Upper East Side because it was truly empty, and very beautiful from all the rain.

Decide that when you come home from North Myrtle you will prep your apartment, get it appraised and rent a condo in North Myrtle so you never have to be here to mess the apartment up during the sale. Also you won’t meet the people until the closing so you can’t tell them every perceived defect.

Wonder: will you be able to afford this? Will you be to afford not to do it?

Feel stupid about reunion notice. Then remember this is you who braves stupidity every day or two to three times a week in this blog. You used to brave stupidity in two blogs constantly. If nothing else you’re a braving stupidity writing pro. Wonder if they give awards for that. Maybe you should start one.
NO YOUR FOCUS IS NO LONGER ON BLOGGING but braving stupidity in writing everywhere else.

Call assorted friends to see if they want to do dinner. Don’t leave messages. Nobody checks missed calls anymore. Well you don’t so you missed three important ones in the last several days. And a few not so important ones. Had you checked missed calls you would have had assorted friends to do dinner with. Wonder if you will ever get over the 80’s. Does anybody else say “do dinner?”

Remind yourself to check missed calls daily. Wonder if you will remember. Put posties on desktop and laptop.

Go into bedroom to read The Secret Lives of Bees This begins a big internal debate if you should wait until you’re in South Carolina to read a book that takes place there. Then debate moving to a state known for many things you’re not known for….Then you remember–townhouses, good prices, beaches. Truly nice people.

87 minutes until The Closer Much as you love Kyra Sedgwick, and you always have, will have to wait until 9:23 to miss the commercials.

Begin to get excited about the TV stations in Myrtle Beach. Love their commercials. Love the radio stations. Time Warner Cable experiments with new things in Myrtle Beach. You have always been an early adapter. Now you can be a pioneer adapter.

Put on winter robe over summer clothes. It’s worth freezing to get rid of the allergens in the air. Wonder if you’re living a worthy life. Remember the days you talked about your imaginary friends in your blog. You might bring them back as they do play an important role in your life. Toto does bark.

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5!
  1. sage Says:
    1

    Oh Pia, you’re not going to move to South Carolina are you? Didn’t I teach you better than that–the lesser of the Carolina’s? Check out NC beaches–Carolina Beach, Wrightsville Beach, even Topsoil or Atlantic Beach…

    You’re Labor Day sounds like a lot of labor!

  2. TC Says:
    2

    I got a kick out of this :)

    Wonder if your imaginary friends have become real.

    Wait: they were imaginary to begin with? I’m not buying it. All of my imaginary friends are real… I swear!

  3. mary Says:
    3

    Far out!

  4. Bone Says:
    4

    With your new efficient system you know you will find batteries—someday. Find checks you have been looking for.

    That’s the great thing about not being able to find something. You often find something else.

    Wow, this was great. It’s like Pia Live Blogs Labor Day.

    Is the word you hated hip? Square? Righteous?

  5. G Says:
    5

    “Wonder if being efficient is a good thing or if takes too much time” - this cracked me up as I think it’s going to kill me. What a great post. I’ve been out of the blogloop for a bit and just wanted to check in. I had a few chuckles here.

    PS: The Container Store sells battery cases to store your batteries in the fridge where they supposedly stay fresh longer. Either that, or use them as a condiment when you run out of olives.