Some days I still don’t believe that I left. It feels weird. Not quite a vacation; not quite a life.

Stumble it!

This went into private though didn’t say that last night–nor did I touch anything to make it so. I need a design company to retweak Courting and another hosting company

The most exciting part of my day today, Monday was walking past The David Letterman Show twice and pretending that he came out to discover my brilliance and my Southern/New York beauty and put me on the show as an added guest. A girl can dream.
Until I sell my apartment, this will be my legal address. I’m coming back at the end of June, and suspect I will be coming to New York often even after I sell. New York runs through my blood as no place else ever could.

Spirit Air was only a half hour late. For Spirit that’s like being two hours early. At the Myrtle Beach Airport they had a display of banned cigarette lighters. Many looked just like guns. It was scary to think of what could happen if somebody took one out…I had never seen anything like them before. Hey I think Aim Flames look like guns–but these looked like the real thing.

Lucia and Rafe my two BFF’s came over. Lucia wanted to scream about how much she loved my hair but as Rafe was my hairstylist for so many years….Even he had to admit it looks great. We went shopping at Fairway at ten PM. It was much more crowded than any store I have been in, in North Myrtle during prime shopping hours. Thursday night I loved the exhilaration though I know that will wear thin. I bought sushi for breakfast. Sushi is one food I will never eat in North Myrtle–OK, it was brown rice, smoked salmon sushi but still–I wouldn’t buy any fresh fish that I wouldn’t eat within an hour or two. I did sample it when I came back home. Bought rough cut oatmeal as I can’t find it anywhere in North Myrtle. Rough cut oatmeal makes oatmeal into a truly divine experience. Have to buy hot wasabi peas and a few other things. Have a feeling I’m going to be buying many things over the Internet.

On Friday I began walking down Broadway looking for a certain mani/pedi place. The weather was incredible. When I passed Gray’s Papaya, I began tearing up–will take pictures and begin a photo blog to show you why. The thing is I can’t deal with the smell of hot dogs and have never actually been in a Gray’s. If I get a drink somebody has to buy me one. I was getting over an allergy induced migraine–my allergies are much better near the beach. But Gray’s symbolizes real New York to me, and my sinuses were clogged so I didn’t smell anything. Just stood there and teared and teared for my heart belongs here. Continue Reading »

Stumble it!

I was going to thank Bone for the words out of habit but I picked them which didn’t make them any easier to use. This is a Three Word Wednesday. There are two–one Southern Highlights is about Southern life. The second is depressing.

The sun came out yesterday afternoon, and I ran out with it. I am a walker, and walking in the rain, though I do out of necessity, isn’t one of my favorite things.

Probably I should move to the desert. I know that it has its own kind of beauty, but it’s the ocean I need to be near. Even if I don’t go to the ocean for days, just being parallel to it fills my body with something akin to joy. I know it’s the negative ions but prefer to think it something mysterious; something that shouts “I am alive, never leave me.”
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I had my hair cut, dyed, highlight, and blow dried, the other day, all for less than the price of one of the first three items in the salon I go to on Madison Avenue.

Yes I cheated on my hair stylist and great personal friend, Rafe, and when he called the other night didn’t know how to tell him. He’s having a hard time believing that I’m really leaving for good, and this isn’t some long time vacation.

I have been known to disappear for weeks, sometimes months on end. My parents believed that travel was the answer to most of life’s myriad of problems, and while I might never make it to all the countries they went to, I will make up for it in time spent away. Though this is home now, I still own my Manhattan apartment and have lived in Manhattan or right next to it most of my life.

I have never cheated on him before. The one other time in the almost quarter century I have known Rafe, I had been gifted a visit to Nicky Clarke in London, and even Rafe agreed I should have my hair done by one of the “true celeb stylists.”

That was in 96 when John Barrett was “hair salon homeless” as he waited for his salon in Bergdorf’s to be built. I call Rafe, salon owner to the “homeless hairstylist celeb” as he has a penchant for taking them in. Now Rafe’s salon is filled with hairstylist, upon hairstylist, some of whom I have known forever.

For me to go to a salon without a pedigree was unheard of. I thought that I would bounce from salon to salon, but I think I walked into every salon in North Myrtle. I picked the one where the stylists and clients had highlights I loved. It was thrilling to me when it took the stylist awhile to realize I have frizzy hair for I had blow dried it that morning and walked the mile in soft dripping rain.

It took her almost four hours to do my hair. There weren’t a gaggle of assistants. The noise level was minimal. Nobody had their Blackberries out. Actually I was the only client with cell to the ready as I was expecting some calls I had to take.

The conversation wasn’t about media, real estate, the stock market, or politics. Nobody was trying to show their importance. Nobody was frenzied, or speaking above each other.

Exceptionally truthful moment: Monday was the first time I actually loved having my hair done. On Madison Avenue I always feel jittery and want the experience to be over.

Once I thought of making an appointment at John Barrett’s salon, just to be to say I’m a Bergdorf blond, but I couldn’t cheat on Rafe that way. John Barrett takes credit for inventing Jennifer Aniston’s haircut on Friends but I have read that somebody else does also.

Rafe sent me roses the other day. I hear that they’re exceptionally beautiful but I wouldn’t know. They were really a gift for my Manhattan apartment. My friends are so used to being there they still hang in it a night or two a week.

I thanked Rafe for the roses and told him they were the first flowers anybody has ever sent me that I haven’t actually seen. He found that hysterical and told me to write about it, so I am. The first time he realized I might actually have some writing talent was when I came up with the “hair salon owner to the celeb homeless hairstylist” line.

I don’t know if I will have the nerve to tell him my cheating will be permanent. When I go to New York for Passover, he will see that I might not be a Bergdorf blond but I’m a Southern brunette with blond highlights. Many highlights in a champagne/ash. They suit me.

Rafe’s known for his reds, and when I grew tired of having every color red hair nature never intended, Rafe seemed to grow bored doing my color. Maybe this change will make him happy. I pay for two out of three visits. Rafe buys me expensive dinners and sends flowers to my apartment when I’m not home….

I know how expensive the salon is. When Rafe was making the decision to go solo he would come to my house and we would bounce around ideas for hours. I encouraged him in this venture as I knew he needed the thrill of being the one and only boss.

He tried to discourage me from leaving but once he realized that I truly needed the change was one of my strongest advocates.

I think Rafe will understand when a hair obsessed girl finds a hair salon she likes she has found home.

I am going to look for a place to rent for six months as I want to hang with my friends not be the permanent lodger. I can’t buy until I sell my apartment and spend enough time here to make sure that it’s the right place for me. People are getting used to see me walk. It’s odd enough for people to comment on it. I tell them I hope they join me someday and not just walk on the “walking paths,” or the beach, but through the whole town as it really is the best way to get to know a place. Continue Reading »

Stumble it!

Hi Daddy,
This has become the country you feared. America, land of easy money, no income and subprime mortgages, and so much more tha would shake your sometimes rational CPA’s mind, and moral center.

Bear Stearns went under a couple of weeks ago and in this info at your fingertips world, every frigging, let me call myself an expert, has been imparting negative psychology to make bad situations even worse.

I wish that I hadn’t thought 40K so much money when I bought my apartment and spent 40K more so I could have had a luxe apartment with an incredible kitchen.

People who can’t cook and have never set in the kitchen still like to have “name” stoves, fridges and dishwashers. It’s been status to live like a king, since you died seventeen years ago today, even if you have to postpone paying bills, and/or tap into your equity or what might be equity someday.

40K more is nothing today; chump change. Though tomorrow it might be everything.

I don’t know if you were negligent in your guardian angel duties or it was meant for so few people to come to my open house so I could lower the price and somebody like me, somebody who pays her bills

Stumble it!

Darn forgot: this was prompted by the words in Three Word Wednesday So is the post below where we properly thank Bone for the words. The post below is dark
Delane wanted to fall in love. She wanted it so badly she couldn’t think of anything else. All her girlfriends talked about how wonderful love was. She would see them cuddling with their boyfriends and she felt so lonely.

Her parents would tell her to give it time. Someday a boy would be swept away by Delane’s beauty and brains. She didn’t believe them. Her father would feel sorry for her and give her extra money on a Saturday for shopping. She already had two credit cards. But cash was always welcome.

That Saturday she was supposed to see her best friend Alexa. When she went to Alexa’s house, Alexa was all tangled in her boyfriend Joey’s arms.

Delane knew what girls did when they were depressed; they went to Juicy and bought some new clothes, pocketbooks and accessories. So she did. It felt as if nobody understood that she was truly depressed. They all said “someday.” Delane wanted someday to be today.

She looked real good the next day when all her friends came over. Her mother had wanted to do something really big. But Delane wanted a pool party for her eleventh birthday.

Stumble it!

Friday night update: I’m adjusting to living someplace where the people are kind, life is slower, and I can stop to look at creeks–and the ocean, always the ocean. I spaced at a grocery store and a woman said something. I apologized and she answered:
Goodness, hon, everybody’s entitled to a moment of reflection.
May I never get too used to that, and always appreciate the kindness of strangers.

When my blog was down, pages vanished. They contained blogrings, Technorati and stuff. The only one I care about is Darfur as it’s worth caring about. Everything else–a blog is just a blog. I admit I used to find stats endlessly fascinating but I don’t anymore. I really don’t.

March 19–five years of war. If every American blogger stopped normal blogging for that day and wrote something about the war–just five years too many–we could begin a revolution

I forgot to say that the words come from Bone

As the tension leaves my body, I’m truly incapable of thought
•••••••••••••••

I’m trying to write fiction and am not capable of it now. So much is whirling through my mind, I’m numb.

There’s a major scandal in New York, and I feel detached from Mr. Holier Than Thou, and all New York news. I suppose that’s the true test or is it too early to tell? I feel sad that I can’t feel sad for him, but when one sets himself up as a morality policeman one should be better than.

It was the fourth item on the Horry County local news Monday night. Right after the Peeping Tom who is bothering two old ladies. I would move here, just to live in a county called Horry.

When I closed the apartment door, I didn’t look back. I thought I would stare at the apartment for at least a minute but I didn’t have the time or the want.

My screensaver is filled with pictures of my wall unit–the only thing I won’t be able to bring with me.

My apartment in New York is bare of most personal items. It’s a shell–but a very pretty one. Even my famed to some storage cage is set up so that everything can be easily moved. I give tours of the storage room; many New Yorkers dream of having a storage cage in their own building.

Now that my apartment is officially on the market, there’s nothing left for me to do, but wait.

I don’t quite feel free yet, but in limbo. I spent Monday compulsively reading the New York Times When the calls began to come in, as if I live somewhere I can’t get news, but can get phone calls, email, texts and IM’s, I already knew about the now former governor.

The knowledge that I can reinvent myself, be anybody I want to be who happens to look like me, is just beginning to sink in.

Last week I began a new life.

I really hope to be back in form by next week or the week after that. I’m not used to the slower pace. There’s a lot I’m not used to–calmness, cheaper prices, people who say hello to you, so much is different. I think I love it. I just don’t know if it was easier for me to be creative in a very distracting environment. And The New York Times isn’t loading. Maybe that’s a sign that I will have to begin reading local papers.

Stumble it!

I am moving a week from today. Continue Reading »

Stumble it!

Thanks Bone . I might not be able to comment or post much as I’m hoping to leave next week–finally! Have taxes to prepare for the preparer, files to be cleaned and many many little things. Courting is probably going on hiatus.

Fast, unedited–and I’m going to have start taping my BFF and my conversations. Though I’m leaving which makes me both happy and sad. This is for the girl who will be my roommate at the old ho home
••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lainey and Maris were sitting at a table in the back of the bar. Lainey was choking into her beer:
No, we’re like Grace and what’s her name on Saving Grace
Laura San Giacomo.
She has a name
Yeah, Grace’s best friend
Is that what you think of me, Maris Kane’s best friend?
Maybe, maybe not. Look at him.

They looked at a man in a tight black tee-shirt, black jeans, long black hair tied into a very nice ponytail, and earring. He seemed to be smiling at them. Maris wondered if they should try to pick him up. This time Lainey didn’t just choke but sputtered:
Girl we were retired years ago into the permanent collection of The Old Ho’s House
So? Just shows how great we are. We still have it.
You’re crazy. Look at the girls in here. All size double zero up to two.
Oh come on Lainey. Are we or we are not honky tonk angels.
Yeah 20 years ago, we were called that exactly once by a drunk…
You married him.
True but shouldn’t that tell you something?

Lainey hated to be the rational one. She wanted to believe that their looks could still pack a punch. She wanted this night at the last remaining C&W club in New York to be fun but remind them they weren’t 30 anymore. 30 did seem to last through two decades. But there had to be an end to youth. Maris was holding on so hard….

Lainey really didn’t want to watch Maris unravel, but….

Stumble it!

This was very quick as the other one is long. Personally I think I can’t win PCH as long as I live here–they see the zip code and think “all apartment buildings.” But I don’t really believe in lotteries or pennies from heaven
Every week day as she filled the PCH lotto form without once accidentally ordering anything she imagined what her life would be like if she won.

At work nobody knew she had a brain. As she filled out the data entry forms she would daydream about a world unlike any she knew.

The forms were simple. Rosanna heard people talk about her: “Simple and plain.” “Look at her; she doesn’t even try to dress well or wear make up.” “At least she’s clean.”

As she heard each slight she would imagine a comeback but she knew she wasn’t clever enough to say something that might sting.

Rosanna had been longing for a boyfriend for as long as she could remember. Even more than that, she imagined a girlfriend. Just one that she could have long conversations with, laugh with, or talk about nothing as other people seemed to do so readily.

Most people left exactly at five. She would wait until six as she made minimum wage and the hour overtime was a necessity. Then she would walk the ten blocks to her rooming house where she would timidly smile at whatever residents passed her.

One had once invited her to a movie. Rosanna couldn’t afford the ticket price so she had said no, and the person never talked to her again.

Rosanna knew that this was just a passing phase. She never thought how it had been 25 years since she dropped out of high school. The PCH lotto said that somebody with the initials RS in her zip code had to win, and she knew it was just a matter of time. Yes, sir, she knew it.

Stumble it!

I found this prompt (see bottom after reading post) on Lissa’s blog It’s not edited, and I had many interruptions so I’m not sure how long it took–will always set that microwave clock
I go out walking, after midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
I’m always walking, after midnight
Searching for you

Dani needed one break. Just one little break. People had been saying she could sing like Patsy ever since she could remember. They passed the hat around at the Millersville Saloon & Grill every Friday night. On a payday Friday she would take home $100 to $150. The next Friday $35-$50 if she was lucky.

Of course Millersville was in Coal County PA, not Texas or Nashville or anywhere near where record company people lived. Mountain View was hot. Lots of New Yorker’s were buying houses in and around it, but nobody came near Millersville or Desolateville as Dani and her friends called it.
I walk for miles, along the hyihway
Well that’s just my way
Of saying I love you
I’m always walking after midnight
Searching for you

Dani thought about that as she walked around Mountain View one muggy Tuesday in August. She’d been to every restaurant and bar in town and nobody needed a singer. She was so tired of being a clerk at The Millersville Notion Shop, a kind of low class five and dime. Her boss made her open on Saturdays knowing that she didn’t get home until after three AM on Friday night/Saturday mornings. “Keeps you from drinking too hard,” Wanda her boss would say. Dani was a two beer at max girl but she couldn’t afford to open her mouth to Wanda. Wanda had never forgiven her for winning “best looking” “best voice” and “most popular girl” back in high school. Wanda hadn’t ben nominated for anything.
I stop to see a weeping willow
Crying on his pillow
Maybe he’s crying for me
And as the skies turn gloomy
Night winds whisper to me
I’m lonesome as I can be

Dani felt defeated. She wasn’t really aware of her surroundings. Mountain View was pretty as a picture, enough films were made here, but come on, it wasn’t real. Wanda owned another store here. She was determined to be Coal County’s best known female.

Dani wasn’t listening at first. Why was that man singing “Walking after Midnight?” Shit, he was singing along with her. “Oh no,” she heard herself saying, “I didn’t mean to be singing out loud.”

The man smiled. She thought she recognized him but he couldn’t be Jay Larsen, American Idol break out star. “You should be singing everywhere all the time. You have an amazing voice.”

How Dani was discovered became a favorite feel good tabloid story. If she hadn’t been unconsciously singing out loud, she wouldn’t be Dani Freeman-Larsen, the anti Britney.

Wanda wanted to tell people that Dani was a no good drunk, former high school bad girl who happened to get lucky but as Dani helped her expand her business….

Your character was lost in her own thoughts. When she snaps back to reality, she realizes she was singing out loud. Unfortunately, she wasn’t somewhere private. How embarrassing… Take it from there.

It’s rabbit rabbit day–the first day of the month and the Friday before the superbowl. I wanted to write something feel good.

Stumble it!