I put my apartment on the market and went to North Myrtle the week Bear Stearns imploded. I came home to Lehman. I have been losing money all year but never grasped that the two were correlated, or that my losses were anything more than temporary. Such was the size of my investor’s ego. Why was I sure that Manhattan apartments were going to come down without truly bad things happening?

I feel guilty to be so psyched and happy when in reality I should be crazed and staying up all night. Yes I am coming into more than pocket money less than life changing money this week. Every cent was earned and is very needed now.

I was just beginning to understand the economy was truly becoming bad, and was planning on taking it off the market and getting some kind of social worker/legal/research job as I’m licensed, have certification and much experience in all three and sometimes together when I got this bid that was too good to let go. I knew the people/person would pass the board, no trouble and these days it’s important to be as obsessive as I was and let the realtors know exactly what I wanted in bidders. Obsessive might not be the right word. “Single minded” comes to mind. So few could pass a board easily now.

Wow. All that’s finished. I’m mostly packed. The moving van comes Tuesday. I’m leaving the apartment a day early so the buyers can do a walk through in an empty apartment—I’m a bit confident in my product.

Wow. I have three days to play tourist.

I have no idea how I will feel when I no longer own this apartment. I will be staying at my friends’ townhouse and I do so love it but it’s not mine.

It feels so strange to be in a position to buy a house in this time of uncertainty and loss. I refuse to apologize as I will have to do massive economizing and feel like Eva Gabor in Green Acres without the money or the farm. OK I don’t feel like her.

I feel truly great and feel just a tinge of guilt over that

Frank Rich:

“If the Obamas had a 17-year-old daughter who was unmarried and pregnant by a tough-talking black kid, my guess is if they all appeared onstage at a Democratic convention and the delegates were cheering wildly, a number of conservatives might be discussing the issue of dysfunctional black families. Brian York, National Review

Let’s get real. We all know the above is true.
Investigation into her job as governor. Speaks to issues

Todd’s role in his wife’s admin
Dick Cavett
Bob Herbert
Gail Collins

New York Times Editorial
On Ed Koch’s endorsement of Obama. There were times I thought him a brilliant mayor. Other times he made me crazy. Still other times I thought he had a series of small strokes He’s never been boring and still isn’t.
I’m a born and bred New Yorker. There are certain things I must do and two include reading The New York Times and voting. Were I too ever get settled in my new life I might quote other papers but I have never felt less in control over my own life.
If I were too only read two of these articles it would be Frank Rich and Dick Cavett.
If every person who has disliked parts of the past eight years, feels poorer, is scared about his/her job or has lost it, feels somewhat disenfranchised and no longer recognizes or remembers all that was great about America votes for Obama and Biden, we will take our country back.
I hate becoming more radical as I grow older. Doesn’t seem natural. Yet I have known most of my friends since the late 60′s, 70′s and we’re getting ready to light the fire (metaphorically).
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The closing can’t take place on October 1 as the buyers aren’t being interviewed by the board until Mid October.

Did anybody think to tell me this or that this was a true possibility?

No I had to ask and ask and ask.
Is it too hard to say “I don’t know?”
I can live with that. I can’t live without being given any info even if it is “I’m sorry Pia I don’t know the answer. Let me try to find out.”
If somebody could help me understand why it’s easier to let a person imagine many scenarios or believe something is going to happen a certain time…..

Let me introduce myself

I’m the idiot– who, working under the assumption I had to be out of here on 10/25–as no moving is allowed on the Jewish holidays or much of the Monday of the first night–isn’t going to a family reunion (tomorrow) that I really wanted to go to.

The holiday begins at sundown on Monday 9/29 and ends on sundown on Wednesday 10/01. I was willing to tempt G-d and go through with the closing on the Second Day as frankly I have no idea if I believe or not. This has been an ongoing theme for my family for generations.
But as many people who live in my building are practicing Jews or two day Jews, the building has a policy that all outside workers must leave by 3:30 PM on Monday and not come back until Thursday. I didn’t want my move to be under duress so I was going to have the movers come the prior Thursday as there are Friday rules that constantly change and I believe aren’t based on religion but because many people are home on Fridays.

I thought the closing being on R’osh Hassanah was strange as everybody involved in this move but the realtors are Jewish but I’m only the seller. I have no voice..

Arranged for a male college student to work for me this coming Sunday–need brute strength to get things out of my storage cage. Wasn’t going to pay my 09 homeowner insurance as it ends and begins 10/01. Was going to switch to SC health insurance–have dual coverage for awhile out of fear of being hit by a golf cart or something.

Was going to….you get the drift. I’m ultra responsible, obsessive and puritanical. Work before pleasure.

I took the wall unit down and repainted my living room two weeks ago and it’s no longer mine in spirit plus it cost a lot.

I’m not going to get angry. I’m going to have a Tini party—do love different flavored vodka’s. Then will pretend I’m moving on 10/02 so when I come back to NY everything will be ready for the movers. Will be in storage a month less, and I will have a house picked out, maybe for the “Pia buys a small house (small footprint, green friendly) committee.” The committee consists of my best friend Lucia who was a girl contractor, her sister C; and C’s husband W. I live in their house in North myrtle and W was a founder of a mega home chain.

For a Jewish girl from Long Island having handy friends is still unbelievable though I seem to pick friends for their handy skills

One thing: I’m forcing the closing to be on11/02 so I can close, vote and hopefully go to a victory party that night. No can do. The buyers live a good eight hours from here by car and i want them to vote as I believe that will be two more votes for Obama.

I’m a Democrat. I’m so over being so so so so nice.

The deposit is insured but I’m pretty sure that failing a board interview is e_empted from that.

If they do I’m figuring out a way to get the deposit as my apartment will have been off the market for three months and I worked damn hard for the buyer’s enjoyment.

I feel sick about Galveston.

I wish there were a way I could control that but I’m so successful controlling my own life. Not.

I thought October was going to be my last maintenance payment. I thought…

Control. I need some control. I’m the one totally shaking up my life I’m the one who feels I’m working for the realtors and the buyers. People seem to forget about the si_ percent I will pay plus……

I began renovating my apartment last year the Monday after my niece’s Bat Mitzvah. That happened to be the day I began losing money in the stock market. Coincidence?

I have seen one bedrooms on sale for much less than what I’m getting–and what I’m getting seems paltry by 06 standards. Damn I just want to close or even know that this will actually happen

Never leave a seller out of the loop. Answer her call and email. She has as much right to know what’s going on as the buyer. She needs to do things. No communication leaves too much to the imagination.
As Fernando the doorman (not the one involved in the renovation) happened to remark yesterday before I found out the buyer’s weren’t being seen for a month:
They’re getting a wonderful apartment they can just bring their toothbrushes to for a great price. My apartment’s sold. This isn’t an ad. I’m scared I might wreck it though I have never been into the destruction of property–just my soul.

I’m not a big drinker but I had a “come over or I will go insane” party last night. So half this post was written under the influence ad the other half hung over.

I’m not editing it. It goes against my principles to bash anything not political but damn….

You can read about it in the book. it makes me laugh as I know there was nothing sinister or sick about my love for 9–it has the “n” sound which is still my favorite. I think they were trying desperately to find bad neurosis in me as I did have problems and they couldn’t accept that my inability to learn many things despite my IQ and my clumsiness etc DIDN’T have to have a neurotic basis, OK psychotic, as they couldn’t find a physical base.

I’m exhausted. So much has happened since the beginning of July. I’m proud of my LIP article. It was a coming out of sorts as I sent it to every living relative. My relatives were always great to me–well my one year older boy cousin and I had a sibling rivalry–according to our Aunt A–but when we grew up we liked each other. We really like each other. Not that we’re close

My friends are my family and my sister and her family of course and my b-i-l’s family–this is getting even more exhausting.

But my family of friends are taking over my move which is happening exactly when I thought it would. (Note to self: rethink The Secret,no don’t–it was a combination of market forces, pressure on the realtors to deliver, and much else.)

I will celebrate when it’s all over. I’m overwhelmed by everything and overwhelmed by gratitude to my friends and that includes blogging friends–Alphabet Girl Who Is A Woman Now you occupy a special place in my heart–for keeping the faith and much more.

OK. I’m a bad blogger. Last Friday night my blog disappeared and while I got it back I still haven’t reinstalled the links and much else. Too much is happening in my life. Most bloggers do respect that. I find it amazing the bloggers that will de-link you immediately, not even caring about karma and really showing that they couldn’t care less about blogging as a community.

I stopped caring about links over a year and my lack of them shows that. The blogroll will be back up shortly. I apologize about that.

I plan on enjoying the next two weeks as I have to go back to New York on 8/25 to finish getting ready to move. Lucia has taken over responsibility for getting the built in wall unit down, rebuilding the wall, and painting the living room.

My sister thinks I should move to a college town, me being a great mind in need of constant stimulation and all that but I’m beginning to build myself a nice life here. I’m confused. I think I can start a book club or writing group through the library, and a writing group on the Internet.

I was going to write a post or hopefully article on what I would have done differently when I bought my apartment. Then I realized two things. Eleven years ago the info on the Internet today wasn’t around, and I didn’t buy my apartment as an investment but as a place to love and live in. Guess what? I’m going to buy my patio house as a place to love and live in also.

Me thinks I’m beginning one of those great periods of life that used to happen to me every other year for three to five years—then once a decade if I was lucky. I can’t decide if the time when Courting was hotter than hot was a great period of life or was an interesting anomaly. I don’t exactly tell people when I meet them for the first time that I have a blog and once it was taught in at least two universities and I’m a side note in blogging history.

I don’t explain why I don’t drive. Since I have been moving during the oil crisis I have been using that to my advantage and saying that I’m experimenting with living in a town with zilch public transportation without a car or valid license. Myrtle Beach actually has Greyhound buses that go everywhere, and there’s a new bus company that goes many places much cheaper and is very luxe.

I didn’t reinvent myself through my blog. I was honest but it did help me see that a person can reinvent herself, shake up her life, and become the person she was in her 20′s and 30′s before life became so complicated but without the baggage and torrid self examination

When women talk about the 40′s and early 50′s being a wondrous time, and how being over 30 brought peace and contentment I wonder about them. Did they just stop living? Were they really that together and I was missing a lot? Did they have elderly parents who were becoming more dependent and thought that was a picnic?

Life doesn’t have to be as hard as it was for me. Now that more people have aging parents, it’s not a verboten subject. My best friends found ourselves moving away from each other during our 40′s for many reasons. We have found our way back to each other, and this is a subject I might explore in my blog because if there was a mistake to be made I made it. Fortunately they love me anyway.

You’ll get it back in the sale
No I won’t. Listen to me.

But of course he didn’t. It was all about his needs and his wishes. I should have never tried to do him a favor for I might suffer dire consequences.

My 6 by 12 windowed marble bath has the wrong kind of marble. It’s not Carrera so what good is it? The huge reglazed tub isn’t a modern soaking tub so…? Oh the kitchen problems–they will truly haunt me.

I have only myself to be angry at am so I am. I knew I had to get on the market by January but who am I? Only somebody who saw what was going on and didn’t act quickly enough.

I’m angry at people who treated their homes as if they were a cash machine. Not talking about the people who got sucked into teaser mortgages but the people who thought the party would never end.

There are so many of them and we waste time feeling sorry for them? If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Simple. I hate to feel like a Republican on this and I do understand why the bail outs have to include people who weren’t acting responsibly.

But I was. And I’m paying for their partying like it was 99. The New York real estate blog delights in the fact that apartment inventory for sale is at an all time high. The other night I was reading it and realized exactly why I hate it and why I’m leaving New York. People don’t look at things in terms of people anymore but in terms of figures. If it can’t be quantified it’s meaningless.

They have no respect for the history of New York. No knowledge of New York’s social history. Had to Google rent control and rent stabilization. Didn’t know why it began. Youth is no excuse.

I could and have written long research papers on how modern New York came to be. I was so tempted to ask if they knew who Lewis Mumford, Jane Jacobs or Robert Moses even was. But I never comment on large blogs, and am not about to begin.

They didn’t understand the history of the Bronx–how Mose’s Cross Bronx Expressway cut it in half and White people with some money moved to Riverdale; White people without money moved to Coop City which had been a great amusement park, Freedomland, for a few years. They didn’t know parts of the South Bronx have become more surburban than bona fide surburbs.

They, not all of course, thought rent controlled apartments and stabilized ones are government subsidized. Not even the rent stabilization board is a government agency but why let facts get in the way?

Many new condos and rentals are truly government subsidized as they get tax abatements. The same person thought rent controlled and rent stabilized meant projects when it just means the rent is controlled or stabilized. The program began after World War Two to keep the middle class in the city. It’s far from perfect. I wouldn’t believe in it but nothing has taken its place.

Most people I know who are stabilized make between 40K and 100something. Have no real savings outside a 401K, are in “the helping professions,” exec assistants, paralegals, or in the arts. They have no savings not because they spend money wildly but because Manhattan is truly horribly expensive

But it’s a great city and these people are part of the reason why. I lived in a stabilized apartment for sixteen years. The first year the lease was in my father’s name as I had been irresponsible. The next year it was changed to my name and my name only. My boyfriend Zachary wanted his name added. Not even when we were truly in love would I do that. My best friend didn’t add her husband’s name when she was married–which was fortunate as he almost sued to get the apartment. It’s not the stuff of myths that people get divorced and divide the bedroom with markers.

My building had a great landlord. He sold it and the new owners tried to evict as many people as they could. They did evict both my neighbors. They sent me an eviction letter claiming that the lease was in my father’s name. It wasn’t but even had it been I had been paying the rent for the entire twelve or thirteen years I lived there and was obviously the tenant. No way could they evict me.

They could make my life hell and they did. This is an article about more modern day hell

I had five major floods they refused to take care of. They imported cheap prostitutes to live in one apartment next to me and drug dealers in the other. Whoever wanted to could sleep in the lobby and vestibule. This was during crack days and I was the first person in the building to leave in the morning.

I could have waited for them to buy me out. But I grew scared so I left. I sent the management letter a certified letter saying I was breaking the lease a few months early. They sent it back, and had the frigging nerve to call my elderly mother and tell her I moved without a return address or phone number. That was of course absurd and she told them so.

I should have bought that year–91. I could have a bought a large two bedroom dirt cheap but I didn’t want to profit off peoples misery as the housing market was down almost as much as it could be.

I used to believe in karma. I’m not sure that I do anymore. I want my apartment to sell and soon. I don’t need the realtors to tell me about their other apartments that are moving. What does that do for me?

And I hate this weekend. I have neither a mother nor a child. Am I supposed to retreat for the weekend?

The Town of North Myrtle will be 40 tomorrow. They’re having a concert with The Beach Boys without Brian but with Dean of Jan & Dean. If they do Mother’s Day things, somebody might have to ball me from jail.

Cooper has an amazing image that she lifted from somebody and I would have taken from Cooper but my custom WP blog doesn’t do images.

I need images. I’m going to a shagger’s parade tomorrow. A year ago I never heard of shag music, and now I live in its home.

I have been spending way too much time reading this real estate blog where it is to some peoples interest to talk up the death of the Manhattan real estate market. As I’m selling an apartment….I write long, nuanced and rational responses that I don’t post.

Why don’t I post them? I was a political blogger for two years and too quickly learned that people don’t want rational, nuanced comments. They want to play up their views or to be snarky and stupid.

I so much prefer discussions in real life with people who might not hold my views but understand the framework of an argument. I so much prefer people who have many interests, and aren’t hung up on one POV or one minor point.

I almost feel like posting my comments that I delete here but it feels snarky to remind people that Manhattan actually has a real estate market.

I priced my apartment too high and reduced the price. Does this mean I’m in defeat? No it means I always knew it was too high but when a person prices an apartment it’s not just between her and her realtors. It’s analogous to Freud’s theory of sex; that when you’re sleeping with a person it’s not just the two of you but all four of your parents are in bed or wherever with you. Personally I have never bought into that. But my parents had a “healthy” attitude about sex so.

When you have a desirable apartment in a good building, everybody you know becomes involved. Had I priced it at the price it’s at now I would have heard forever how the realtors and I were lazy. This has nothing to do with the comments I never left. Hell, they’re too personal to post on a board where I have a screenname nobody knows, so I’m not going to post them here.

Leaving Manhattan was the best decision I made since my decision to move back. Even then I wanted to leave the New York area but I had an elderly mother who I loved very much. If I write about my father more, he was easier to write about. On the surface my mother was a cute suburban housewife. Under the surface…..I’m trying to write about her for Mother’s Day and it’s so hard. She’s not somebody I can easily categorize. I can’t really write about life lessons my mother taught me. She taught me everything. I don’t want to reduce her to a series of cliches.

Since I left Manhattan seven weeks ago I have been given a series of opportunties. I had unlimited energy when it didn’t benefit me; I have to get the motivation and energy back. Because the rest of the year is all about me, me and more me.

I do have a zen type feeling about my apartment. It needed to see me. I had staged it too well and took all the personality out so that anybody could picture herself there I bought it a flower box, flowers and arranged with somebody to keep refreshing the flowers.

The day before my meeting with the coop board, my bff’s daughter, Little Luce, then six, walked around the building touching it for luck. Now she’s seventeen and the next time I go back will be for her high school graduation. I didn’t dare ask her to touch the building again but somehow it came up and she’s going to….

Because I can’t wait to sell so I can buy here. For the first time in forever my life’s going to be doormen free. It feels so liberating.

Send out vibes, whatever. I need this new chapter of my life to go seamlessly.
•••••••••••
Actually it angers me that many people I know view this as a permanent vacation or “you’re too young….” I believe we’re given chances to remake our lives or make them better or live where we want.
I strongly believe that I was given a gift and had to leave Manhattan to make the most of it.
Life in New York is filled with tension. Once I thrived on that but it all became too much for me. I couldn’t help but overhear this cell conversation:
Hello Beautiful. Busy Busy. Can’t talk. Busy busy. Kiss kiss.
That’s not the mark of a successful person to me. It made me tense up–she was screaming so that everybody on that block of West End Avenue had to listen.
The hair salon I go to here–weekly–has a sign “please turn off your cells out of consideration for the other clients.” In New York nobody would listen to that. When I go to the salon there I listen to the sounds of 30 one way conversations. Everybody has to out important each other. The only acceptable answer to “how are you?” is “busy.” I began to yearn for the days when people had actual conversations with one another in salons, in stores, anywhere….

The most exciting part of my day today, Monday was walking past The David Letterman Show twice and pretending that he came out to discover my brilliance and my Southern/New York beauty and put me on the show as an added guest. A girl can dream.
Until I sell my apartment, this will be my legal address. I’m coming back at the end of June, and suspect I will be coming to New York often even after I sell. New York runs through my blood as no place else ever could.

Spirit Air was only a half hour late. For Spirit that’s like being two hours early. At the Myrtle Beach Airport they had a display of banned cigarette lighters. Many looked just like guns. It was scary to think of what could happen if somebody took one out…I had never seen anything like them before. Hey I think Aim Flames look like guns–but these looked like the real thing.

Lucia and Rafe my two BFF’s came over. Lucia wanted to scream about how much she loved my hair but as Rafe was my hairstylist for so many years….Even he had to admit it looks great. We went shopping at Fairway at ten PM. It was much more crowded than any store I have been in, in North Myrtle during prime shopping hours. Thursday night I loved the exhilaration though I know that will wear thin. I bought sushi for breakfast. Sushi is one food I will never eat in North Myrtle–OK, it was brown rice, smoked salmon sushi but still–I wouldn’t buy any fresh fish that I wouldn’t eat within an hour or two. I did sample it when I came back home. Bought rough cut oatmeal as I can’t find it anywhere in North Myrtle. Rough cut oatmeal makes oatmeal into a truly divine experience. Have to buy hot wasabi peas and a few other things. Have a feeling I’m going to be buying many things over the Internet.

On Friday I began walking down Broadway looking for a certain mani/pedi place. The weather was incredible. When I passed Gray’s Papaya, I began tearing up–will take pictures and begin a photo blog to show you why. The thing is I can’t deal with the smell of hot dogs and have never actually been in a Gray’s. If I get a drink somebody has to buy me one. I was getting over an allergy induced migraine–my allergies are much better near the beach. But Gray’s symbolizes real New York to me, and my sinuses were clogged so I didn’t smell anything. Just stood there and teared and teared for my heart belongs here.

The streets were jumping and my heart was fluttering. So I passed the place but found one in the 50′s I really liked. In the South everything’s slow. I needed fast on Friday.

When I got out the streets were a mess but I didn’t care as I’m a sort of tourist. I walked to the most New York of all stores, Macy’s because it’s the first store aside from FAO Schwarz I remember. If they ever get rid of the wooden escalators I will never go back. You can take clothes from floor to floor now and try on as many things as you want. I was in clothes heaven.

It was girls night out and they met me at Macy’s. A friend had a company discount but it wasn’t applicable to the clothes I was buying so the saleswoman gave me her discount. I do so love born and bred New Yorkers of a certain age.

We began walking uptown through the river park and found an outdoor cafe that was open. The waitress gave us drinks on the house as service was so slow–nobody expected this weather in April. Three tables filled with Irish people from Ireland were celebrating a birthday. Everybody around joined in the toasts.

There was a perfect river sunset. I love the Hudson River as much as I love the ocean. It’s been a part of my life for so many years.

Lucia and I walked quickly home through the Hudson River Park to Riverside Park It was dark but no bike rider tried to kill us. We noticed new exits–in the Hudson River part, but close to Riverside, that don’t have mammoth staircases. I had always wondered how you would get down or up from the park when you’re old. We chose the most mammoth staircase to go up on as that’s part of the fun to us.

Saturday I did many errands. I went to Zabar’s to buy Passover cakes. Over the loudspeaker they kept saying “real New York Jewish rye bread just out of the oven.” Why was I the only person cracking up? Saturday night was the beginning of Passover when you’re not supposed to eat leavened bread products for eight days. The loudspeaker announcement was obviously for tourists and I’m sorry it was funny.

My summer MBT sandal supply was replenished at Harry’s Shoes–best shoe store anywhere. Most of the sales people know me by name. It’s a bit embarrassing, but so sweet that they came to say hello even though I was buying my shoes from somebody I had never seen before. The store was packed and all the sales people were busy. I just went up to a man as he was going to get shoes and almost forced the samples into his hand and said “here, I’m the easiest sale in the world. Just get these for me, please.” Will I ever feel that comfortable somewhere else? I seriously doubt it.

The old MBT’s will be worn with socks or to the beach. MBT’s are addictive. I don’t care how ugly some people think they are. They have a special ball mechanism that allows you to stand forever while your feet circulate. When you walk you’re forced to align your body correctly. I can walk forever in them. I have and will continue to despite what some people think.

It was another warm day and once again I found myself walking to West 34th Street. This time I walked down in the parks. If I lived in New York full time I would have hated it. As a quasi tourist I found the crowds of people endearing.

There were many tourists dressed in punk wigs. I don’t know if this was for some Rocky Horror type cult thing or they think New Yorkers were hideous wigs in pink, yellow, blue etc and guys have Mohawks. As a quasi tourist I found it enchanting.

There was a demonstration against China and pro-Tibet. I joined it for a few minutes, then continued walking to Penn Station/LIRR to go to my sister’s house where everybody loved my hair, the price and my North Myrtle stories. Later I told my sister and niece about the Tibet rally. My sister and I try to avoid buying anything from China–and that’s hard as so much is made there including designer clothes. Elka my sister made an incredible meal with a Moroccan Jewish Passover them as we love the food–and fabric designs.

It was very late and my sister somehow told my niece that I demonstrated against Viet Nam yesterday. You had to be there. We straightened that one out and Elka told my niece how my college friends were cooler than cool. So cool, bright and handsome–they were mostly guys–she was scared to them. My sister talks to anybody but I knew what she meant as I was scared to talk to them and myself as I was just too cool. I still meet people from those days who treat me as if I’m royalty and I’m not. Never was.

At this stage in life I think the playing fields should have equalized. Nobody should live on old reps either good or bad.

I took a midnight train home. The ride was fine but there were real homeless people trying to get tips at the cab lines–and while I wasn’t scared, I could see how people could be–scared of the people leading the lines and some on the lines. The subway would have been better but I was past exhausted and can think of a zillion excuses for taking a cab.

I bought a New York Times. It’s the first one I’m reading not on line in almost two months. Four bucks–wow–for one Sunday edition bought in Manhattan. When I get more settled I will get a Sunday subscription and have my New York and New Yorker subscriptions address changed.

I can’t help it; I will always devour New York things. Myrtle Beach is famous for it outlets yet I run to Macy’s and Harry’s Shoes. Zabar’s is my least favorite of the triumvirate of Upper West Side stores–Zabar’s, Fairway and Citerella yet there I was as it symbolizes New York to so many.

Zabar’s hasn’t really kept up with the times. It’s too old school for me–and the fish isn’t rated as highly as Fairway. Fairway always takes first place in fish things as the turnover is immense. Fairway has more interesting take out to me and I can roast a mean salmon as I figured out how Fairway roasts theres.

If I’m hung up on salmon, I only found one store in North Myrtle that sells good fish and it’s a three mile walk by beach each way. That’s probably a good thing.

I do think of North Myrtle as home now and will be back Tuesday night. New York is where I come to have fun. I like that. And can’t wait to sell this apartment that I will miss but will live on in memory.

Monday night/Tuesday morning. I have seen Penn Station as much as any commuter. I’m so ready to leave.

The real estate blog I read was filled with people exuberant over the “death of the Manhattan real estate market.” One man in particular has been all over the threads and in posting so much spreads negativity.

He has a very vested interest in seeing others suffer as he wants to buy at depression prices. He cashed out. Or something. You never really know who commenters are. I gave up on political writing for large blogs a long time ago (as defined by the “youthful age of blogging”) because so many commenters had an agenda and would refuse to listen to any other POV. They and a few other people know everything and they know it well.

If they did, they would understand that a bad housing market is good for nobody as is a bad stock market which does go hand in hand. I caught this man talking about putting 250K into the stock market instead of a down payment. He mentioned putting it in one stock that would pay eight percent therefore paying $20,000 a year in interest.

In that one statement he showed ignorance in everything that he was trying to be an expert in. Nobody puts or should put that amount of money in one stock, one stock fund, bond etc. The 250K–put in a diversified portfoli– might go up but will probably go down. Therefore eight percent is eight percent of a lower number that is probably constantly changing and can’t be reliably predicted this year. He created a perfect stock market scenario which is exactly the opposite of what he says for the real estate market. You can’t have it both ways.

But what do I know? And for the record I don’t comment on that blog. It’s not worth it.

These people don’t seem to understand that that many of us bought not thinking of an apartment as an investment but were forced to by the very media that now tells us we never should have thought that way. And the psychology of entitlement that pervaded this country.

I never bought into that. I have never felt entitled to anything including being comfortable with my own intelligence and/or talent. This lack of feeling entitled caused me to wait too long. Or maybe not as I priced my apartment too high for me to feel comfortable with but I did that to see if anybody would bite. It was a couple of days before Bear Stearns went under but that was one event that shouldn’t cause an entire city to give up.

I know longer no what a fair price is but I know it’s not 100% less than somebody with a comparable apartment who sold last month. I have bills to pay and a life to maintain. Unfortunately it is that simple. I don’t have a mortgage so I can afford to be more flexible than most people but….

If my apartment doesn’t go into contract in x amount of time I will take it off the market. I can’t afford to pay maintenance and rent indefinitely. A strict coop board might be forced to let me rent me out.

Personally times are very different for me than during the last recession. I’m older. I can’t afford to wait ten years for housing prices to spike back.

I think new media and the affect of it on MSM can be very dangerous. People should bear some responsibility for what they say and not be content saying “the public has a right to know.”

The public doesn’t have a right to feel fear needlessly. And so far much of what’s been happening in Manhattan specifically is very fear generated. It might be a one industry town–the stock market–but it is different for many reasons I don’t have the time to go into now.

Tosay is seventeen years since my father died. That day was also the day the government officially said the stock market began its long trip upward.

I refuse to give into either fear or depression so I’m getting my hair done. Of course it’s pouring and very cold for the South.

I think murdering a contractor who took my money and stopped working and kept begging me for another chance would be considered justifiable homicide. I don’t want to get into that mind frame.

We are all in this together and we have a responsibility to look for answers that help all of us, not feed our own agenda.

Our host company had problems. We don’t know why the “iconic” pinup is gone. However….We have it back.
We’re too happy to have our archives to bear a grudge. It’s just that when we said we were going to shake up our life, we wanted our blog to be part of our new life.

We hadn’t realized Courting is our real home. As long as we have our blog we can live anywhere. Not true but it sounds good.

We lost some posts that talked about our very chaotic move. Briefly it took fourteen hours to get here. We arrived to a disaster. The townhouse next door had their water heater in the attic. It exploded. Our friend’s downstairs kitchen, dining room and living room floors had to be replaced.

Bobby our newest BFF the project manager said fixing this house was like “what’s that show?” “Extreme Home Makeover.” “Right, hon.”

Bobby accomplished in two days what took us four months to do to our apartment, and we didn’t have to constantly give him more money and tell him not to take out the recessed lighting in the kitchen as we like it and we wanted to focus on the things that bring in money–a reglazed bath tub, new paint, great sanded floors, new door knobs. We knew what to do and what not to do, but we only own the apartment.

Basically we spent four months being contractor to the contractor and totally appreciate professionals. We did bring in a professional but he too had his hand out constantly. We understand how high the cost of living is in New York and that people think if a person’s renovating to sell they will make millions. We know our apartment has limitations and won’t. Hence we wanted it to look as perfect as possible. We’re so happy to be out of the city of “gimme, gimme more.”

We did take our own furniture, rearrange and “staged” it amazingly, if we must say so ourselves. Our mother’s best friend, an interior designer, always told us we had the eye and whatever else is needed to be an interior designer. We didn’t think it intellectual enough and were scared of graphs. Now we could do the graphs on computer and think it a great occupation.
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We would like to remind people as it doesn’t seem to be talked about that in less than two weeks the US will have been in Iraq for five years. Five years too long.

This isn’t a petty mistake, but a common one. You young un’s seem in a hurry to make baby boomers senior citizens, and I refuse to be aged up before my time.

About things I don’t understand:
“

You had a lot of people who graduated to a level of consumption they could not really afford,” said Adrianne Shapira, a retail analyst at Goldman Sachs. “Two-hundred-dollar pairs of denim were plausible when home values soared, but now $100 jeans are looking more reasonable.”

Can somebody explain to me how home values soaring made buying expensive things reasonable? Me thinks I’m out of touch If people really believed that borrowing against inflated home values made sense then they should pay the price.

Unfortunately their greed, the banks and brokerage houses that allowed this behavior are dragging people who acted reasonably down with them.

The stock market surged in August 1982. I worked near Wall Street then and remember that day well. Wall Street was empty of human traffic. Some people think the stock market is at the end of a 25 year cyclical upswing. I do remember October 1987. The recession that happened then hit New York harder than most places. The housing market didn’t dip then but when it did dipped hard and long and didn’t begin coming back until 1994 though most people held off selling until 96 or 97 or later.

I realized why I’m having such a hard time putting my apartment on the market. It’s irrational but based on how I have always felt less than because of non verbal learning disorder. My problems are physical organization and spatial in nature. No matter how hard I try or how great my apartment looks I’m always afraid it will fail every test. I have quit jobs that I excelled in as I was afraid all my mistakes would be discovered. Even if I hadn’t made any serious ones. Even if most people made more serious mistakes than I did.

The life long effects of NLD or NVLD are insidious and horrible. Success has never meant anything to me. Failure has and if I’m not really failing I will figure out a way to make myself feel that I have.

Now that I truly understand this I can conquer it. No thanks to many people. I was the cute flirt who worked at a better than most professional level but flirted, and didn’t act professional. or did but still flirted. If only I had been aware of my flirtatious behavior I might have enjoyed it.

Then I learned to control my behavior but the mental effort was hard. I have learned to be totally immaculate. It’s not easy and I still hated myself when I got a coffee ring on a glass table as just cleaning it so streaks don’t show is difficult for me.

People tell me guilt is a useless emotion. They don’t understand how constantly feeling like a failure brought out the guilt meter.

I wish that there were support groups for this. i’m not plugging myself when I say my posts on this have become widely read. I wish that I had never had to talk about it.

Selling my apartment is bringing out every fear, every feeling of worthlessness and more I have experienced. I refuse to give in so forgive me if I use my blogs to talk about it.

Just don’t make me a senior citizen before my due date. They say baby boomers refuse to grow old. It’s not us that talks about us as if we are.

Everybody I know had kids late. Everybody I know thinks of retirement as a far off luxury–and they usually didn’t borrow against their homes. Living in the New York Metro area takes money. Lots of money.

A friend and I were talking yesterday. It’s difficult for us to believe that come Fall we will have met 40 years ago. The first time I remember meeting him was at an Airplane concert in the bandshell in Central Park where a large group of kids from my school had driven in from Long Island to hear the concert, get stoned and then I guess go to Hong Fat in Chinatown as we always did. The next time I remember meeting him was before a dance, The End of The World Dance at school. It was so 60′s. We still take a bit too much pride in being such great late 60′s people

But we’re not 60 yet so don’t rush us. He didn’t even become truly “successful” until his 50′s, though he had glory moments.

We have much left to do and don’t plan to go gently into the night. We have only really truly begun.

This case happened in Suffolk County, Long Island in a rich, supposedly sophisticated community

As soon as the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Tankleff were found, Martin Tankleff accused his father’s embittered business partner, Jerard Steuerman, of being involved. Mr. Tankleff and his supporters have complained for years that the police never investigated Mr. Steuerman as a suspect even though he owed Seymour Tankleff $500,000, was in the house the night of the attacks, left suicide notes a week later, changed his appearance and fled to California under an assumed name.

I hope this going to be a great New Year for Marty Tankleff and his family.

Marty didn’t show the “right emotions” and I believe wasn’t properly appreciative of his new car or wanted a better one or a boat–I forget, and was adopted. Nobody is bringing that up now but it did play a large part in the case then. “Everybody knows” about us adoptees.

My father died around the time of Marty’s appeal. That was almost seventeen years ago. My parents were in awe of Marty’s aunt and uncle and their relentless work to have Marty freed.

I’m entering week seven of the renovation and have lost any remaining sanity. I have been “ordered” to have people over for champagne on New Years Eve so I guess I will. They can come at their own risk. I so hope I make the money back in spades. It is a very beautiful construction zone.

I was just looking at my site meter. Love Google. If you search for Jewish whore you will find me. In 05 I was called “lobotomized Jewish whore,” so I wrote a story about one. I actually like the story. It was a sort of precursor to Colliding Worlds.

I don’t miss being called such things though I’m a contrary person and if you’re going to diss me I will find some way to use what you said. You will think I’m even dumber. I did find being called a moral relativist flattering and everyone knows it’s the opposite.

Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense. Been inhaling paint fumes