See my newest post at Psychology Today! It’s the fifteenth and probably the best. Or not.
As Courting, not I, is doing the thinking it wanted truly stupid pictures of my garden! And the weird (to me) growths are rose hips. Live and always learn!

wild rose bush with weird growths

Sunday night I went to bed about 12:30. I felt something that felt very much like crushed glass pounding into my leg (yes I know that feeling firsthand.) I moved my arm to my leg and felt the same sensation on my arm. I looked down and ran out of bed.

It was too late to call anybody so I emailed Bone. At the time I was in denial that it was a spider because yuck. Thought about sending him pictures of the bites but my general sense of decorum won this round. I wanted somebody to know about the bite and the date to be on record. OK bugs make me hysterical. I stayed up as long as possible but knew I would have to face a bed sooner or later. I slept in the guest room.

Obviously I was still alive in the morning but the bites looked worse. I walked into the bedroom and the spider was still on the bed. I felt sick. Not too sick to declare war. Only lady bugs are acceptable. I also have lizards and snakes–hopefully not poisonous ones in my irregular sized plot that used to be gross weeds with some grass trying and failing to grow. Now it’s three levels of wood decks. I accept bugs outside. They’re not allowed inside and should know that.

I didn’t have any bug spray as I have an exterminator and no need for spray usually so I took Lysol Clean Up and sprayed the spider for at least two minutes until it finally died. I didn’t care if I ruined the bedding and mattress. This was war. Did I tell you I love my mattress?

I took the bedding and not just washed it but put it through a bleach and then a sanitary cycle. Apparently in war cleanliness counts more than anything.

Eldon, contractor, handyman and househusband came over. Yes I knew I had three more days before the venom could spread. Or did I know this? I had taken a Benadryl so was kinda out of it. And the rain. After months of no rain it wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t stay awake from general malaise I suffer from in temperatures under 80something with high humidity. I need heat and humidity to feel human.

Eldon made a lot of fun of me. Fortunately I had both neosporin and benadryl Gel and used them both probably canceling out each other’s effectiveness.

It’s been almost a week and you can’t see the bites or the swelling anymore. But each night before I go to bed I check my bed for spiders. A girl can’t be too careful.

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I hope that The Tea Party understands no matter what happens they have lost by holding the country hostage to phony “principles.” Raise the now and worry later.
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I don’t do ads on Courting. I change the password often and need the password every day to enter my blog. Don’t get this. The ads link back to WebMD via smart link. I don’t make a cent and have no idea what to do to stop this. I use the latest versions of Askimet and Bad Behavior. It’s not that I wouldn’t make money from the blog if the right opportunity presented itself; it’s the idea that this can be done. Courting isn’t even popular anymore and hasn’t been for years! I just personally love it
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I’m keeping this blog though I post infrequently as I have kept up very few things for seven years and am determined…..Though I suppose Psychology Today could be a natural outgrowth.

Last week my birth cousin called to say that my birth mother had passed on. I thought it brave and wonderful of my cousin to call me. I didn’t expect to feel the emotions that have been flooding through me ever since.

Sad mostly. Vindicated as my cousins told me that what I wrote about her was true. But still I can’t help but think if I had been a warmer person, if I had been more charming, more something she would have liked me.

I have been reading more than I have in years. I thought the Internet stole my passion for books but it hasn’t. Basically I take most every selection Vanity Fair and some other magazines give and have Amazon ship them.

I know I have insulted people by using the word “retarded.” I don’t see the horror in the word.
Because I was diagnosed so late with nonverbal learning disorder I didn’t have the vocabulary to explain it properly. Actually I still don’t. So I call myself spatially retarded because truthfully I am.

And truthfully I guess I envy young people who do have the vocabulary and don’t feel shame in not knowing things or guilt about not knowing other things. It’s not an easy road I travel yet I have for many years and hope to for many more. This time with proper vocabulary and a map if that’s at all possible

It’s been hard to write and now I have an excuse–the death of Bio Mom, and I do mean that with respect. So this morning I wrote half of a first draft of my next post for PT. I have also begun outlining my book. I hope it’s a productive summer!

My latest Psychology Today post

This weekend was Mayfest It’s funny as it’s the ultimate beach music weekend but very few shaggers come. Lil Red and her husband have been living here forever and went for the first time yesterday as I forced them invited them nicely!!!
We had perfect seats. Our beach chairs were on the side near the entrance to a hotel bar and bathroom. We could see, drink and….Perfect! And only four blocks from home.

Then this morning for the fourth Sunday in a row my New York Times didn’t come. Yes. I. Am. Taking. This. Personally. I already gave up the other six days of the week as the delivery person only delivered on Sundays. Then she/he stopped. Jobs are scarce here so it really angers me when somebody has a job with a guaranteed salary plus tips and doesn’t deliver. Or am I supposed to be understanding? Does the delivery person only think liberals read The Times and therefore delivery isn’t important? Or did the person notice the Mezzuah on my front door and actually know what it is and dislike it?

When the paper claims they assigned a supervisor to investigate and the paper still doesn’t come–nor does the replacement copy you start asking yourself all sorts of stupid stuff. I don’t want to open my computer on Sundays but need the number and then need to twitter my complaint.* So on Sunday’s I’m a regular Debbie Downer! God do I hate cute and cloying expressions. When did women begin receiving visits from Aunt Flo? It’s the stupidest expression I have ever heard. Just had to get that out.

I know somebody who lost his home to foreclosure this past week and have been both sad and upset. My inclination is to help but I can’t lend money. I was giving this person work but I want to go on vacation. I want to spend some money on myself. I, I, and more I. It’s all about me.

I understand that times are tough and we have to help each other. But what happens when you have helped and helped a person and the money doesn’t go to the mortgage? I was taught that you pay rent, mortgage, whatever keeps a roof over your head first, then I guess anything to do with a car, then electric.

Oh hell I’m overly responsible, and almost offered to pay this persons bills for him but that wouldn’t help in the long run and I hate paying my own bills. So I’m sad and feel guilty that I can’t help more when he ignored the problem for too long. Round here and in some conservative blogs I read it’s assumed that Republicans are responsible and God’s gift to the world when Democrats aren’t responsible.

Well he likes Palin and Bachmann and I am very proud of President Obama. Bin Laden and stem cell research all in one week!!!!!!!!! Even Bill Clinton couldn’t get government funded stem cell research passed. As I said on Facebook where I’m actually funny when appropriate and clever when needed, if stem cell research had been passed years ago I might be bitching about having to celebrate Mother’s Day instead of wistfully remembering my mother as her only problem was macular degeneration and they kept waiting for stem cell research.

My Mom was always ahead of her time. She made motherhood look like a walk in the park, was older though looked younger and I miss her everyday.

I finally made it to the front page of Psychology Today though it might not be by the time you read this!

That’s three essential reads and one front page which is very rare for Personal Perspectives so I’m proud. But I thought that a post about a birth mother–separating the reality from the fantasy–would be well received. And it’s an indirect homage to the only Mother I care about and no longer feel guilty about that!
So I think my Mom would like that post. Actually she loved most things I wrote. But she only read my researched articles which were pithy, factual and she claimed, fascinating!
*I realize how absurd that statement is. Many people here don’t have health insurance. Tourism is the only industry. Many people are a paycheck or less from eviction or foreclosure. So when a person has a job they should do it and be glad to. If I knew I wasn’t going to get the paper I would read the magazine and other sections during the week. But I always think “this week it will come.” Never pays to be an optimist or relax about anything–and I moved here to optimistically relax

My latest PT post
Part Two of Not Quite a Hoarder: Clear Pathways

It’s heavy

Once, I was engaged to an East Indian.  He was two or three or even one on the “sweetest romances I have ever had, in the beginning,” list so please don’t assume from this story I’m prejudiced in anyway against East Indians.  At work they gave him a Rebel Without a Cause poster both because he was a rebel with too many causes, all against himself it turned out, and he looked like a darker James Dean.  I remember when he would slick his hair back and roll up the tee shirt sleeves to assume protector of Pia role.  Uh yeah it worked as well as it sounded.  This was in the early 80′s.  We worked on East 28th between Madison and Park which was a welfare hotel capital then.

Me=native New Yorker with a tude.  He=MidWesterner trying to adopt a street face. He was eight years younger than me, had a law degree by 21, and would be getting a PHD in AI.  Couldn’t scare anybody, but tried so hard.   Oh I do remember this relationship with affection.

The above was me being defensive.  Here’s the story: Read more…

The temperature’s falling.  It looked rainy all week and finally rained yesterday.  I will so miss summer and my garden that sprouted twice this year!

I took off that stupid “followers” thing because I would rather not be published then resort to such things.  I hope my writing speaks for itself.

I’m not the begging type.  So I’m leaving the “follow this blog” up for a week if I can stand it.  Please do if you like Courting

OK I can’t stand this.  I feel that I paid my blogging dues and paid and paid and paid!  I have always felt that personal blogs should come with an expiration date.  But when you have a product to push, you need to show that you’re part of a social network–like the two thousand blog posts, articles and even text books that mentioned Courting don’t count–in the frigging past

If you appreciate Courting because it might be a better written than the usual blog; because I don’t try to entertain you with cloying cute cleverness; because I only post when I have something to say; (OK that last one is a lie in the Christine O’Donnell school of truth);  because damn it! I’m a good person who spent too much time blogging about politics and blogging without asking for money, donations, whatever.  Because I don’t usually ask you to follow me on Facebook or Twitter, because___fill in the reason.

My future might depend on it!   Apparently it’s not about the writing but the number of followers.  And yes I hate that!!!!!