When I’m anxious, bored, trying to stay awake or just curious I scroll through lists. Weird hobby I know.
In one of my previous posts I talked about a man I used to live with and how if he could have just conquered his demons (yeah, easy I know) he might have lived to become similar to Steve Earle. While scrolling recently published blogs I came across Steve Earle’s. My old boyfriend’s music reminds me of his. Even his speaking voice was like Steve Earle’s. It feels kind of weird and kind of nice.
I don’t know what that means, or if it means anything at all. One of the people he dedicated his new CD to was Warren Zevon, my whole life seems to be dedicated to Warren Zevon.
When I was being tested for every conceivable cancer this past year because I had many strange symptoms and blood test results I would listen to Warren and feel hope. He changed my attitude and outlook at life.
I find it strange that at this horrible time in history I’m my personally most positive. I want to live to bear witness.
Maybe I’m meant to live somewhere that’s not New York. Somewhere where the sun shines and the ocean air makes me feel more alive. Maybe in order to get some order and perspective I need to be away from my birthplace. I don’t know.
I just know that a lot of people I respect have been dedicating things to Warren Zevon, and somehow that fills me with joy.
It’s a cliche but I savor each minute now.