On a roll

My computer’s been drinking not me. Sorry Tom Waits I just love corrupting “my piano’s been drinking not me.” Been corrupting that song title for 25 years now, and most people never get it.

I could probably write a whole post just using song titles and phrases by Tom Waits, and Warren Zevon. It would read beautifully, and nobody would get it, including me.

Sorry had a pity-party type of day, and I need to entertain myself. I enjoy my own company, and am not in the mood for TV, movies, reading, company or anything fun but writing in my blog(s).

As I have already said somewhere, I’m a perfectionist who can’t do anything perfectly. I’m a true obsessive/compulsive, but I hate being obsessed about things so I indulge my compulsive side by letting myself write until the cows come home, which is pretty difficult in the Upper West Side, of Manhattan.

Also I have never found a medication for obsessive/compulsives that doesn’t have side affects such as depression and massive weight gain. I hate being depressed, and I was always kind of known for my looks, so I enjoy being hyper now. It lets me be productive and lose weight at the same time.

What does this have to do with my computer, the recovering alcoholic? It began crashing often months ago. Then it became corrupted with spam that I kept on finding everywhere. It was like sweeping shattered glass; I kept on finding more things for weeks. I installed a heavy duty virus program; it became much worse. I had always kept up with maintenance, it had all the latest Microsoft patches.

Bad moves. You can never really uninstall all of the programs, and they can play havoc. It took me awhile to understand that my computer, like me, is no longer 30, in computer years.

My computer is a thing of beauty with its 20 gauge steel chassis, okay LCD screen, mouse with charger, and streamlined cordless keyboard that does many things. When people see it for the first time they’re amazed by its beauty, and how it blends into my surroundings.

I had the earliest version of XP; after a disc reinstall I now have the newest version. It’s like having a new computer. One that actually works, and has new icons and features that I’ve never seen before.

But there’s the me factor. I’m the person who can write great training manuals, but can’t follow directions. That was the reason I was so good at writing manuals; when I first began training people I had one of the few eureka moments in my life.

I realized that other people thought sequentially and in steps. This had eluded me for 27 years. I only began doing well in school in my last two years of university when I took interdisciplinary classes in Urban Studies. It was then that I discovered the magic that writing a good paper brings.

But the knowledge that other people thought in sequential steps was probably the biggest thing I ever learned. I learned to put directions into their most simple form. I began to write like Hemingway if he had lost the machismo, and didn’t tell stories.

I was a project supervisor in a project that had begun with 240 employees, was reduced to a 120, in a giant lay-off, none of us will ever forget as we partied for days. I still feel the hangover.

the project was expanded to over 1200 employees. There were 80 groups with a supervisor and fifteen employees. I was close with everybody in management. The human resources manager swore that they interviewed one person and another person showed up. We had some rather unique employees. God it was fun at first.

One day I asked the human resource manager aka Elena, one of the original Blenderbusters, if the project manager watched the new employees and picked out the ones who were (truly, sadly) brain damaged, and the behavioral problem employees, and saved them for me. Elena, who has a wicked sense of humor, just laughed.

It couldn’t have been more obvious, because as soon as somebody learned t