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My new sneakers and sandals!

April 7, 2005 By pia

For my very ill fated vacation, I bought new sneakers. They aren’t like most sneakers. You don’t want to know the cost; or more likely I don’t want to disclose it.

I learned two things. Never buy a pair of sneakers that come with a training cd-rom; and read the directions. These are the only sneakers in the world that you’re not supposed to get very wet. As it rained for the first five days I was away, I couldn’t wear them.

But that was okay as these sneakers have a learning curve. The shoe salesman at Harry’s, a very pricey New York shoe store institution that specializes in “comfortable shoes,” watched me walk. He was very approving. Apparently I walk correctly, with the ball of my heels going down first. I trust the salespeople at Harry’s. They pride themselves on repeat customers and try not to sell shoes that might hurt or otherwise be bad for you.

These sneakers are supposed to rid your body of cellulite, give you incredible posture, help you lose weight, and do a myriad of other things in one month. The problem was that I could only wear them for an hour the first day, they really do exercise the calf, and thigh muscles. I don’t mind that; but I couldn’t stand the vertigo I somehow felt.

Oh let me be real. The same company also sells exercise sandals in black that have a wedge and look great with red toe polish. I justified buying them because they almost look like dress up sandals, and they’re black, and I can justify any shoe purchase if I try–or not-hard enough.

I loved the way they made my calves and thighs feel. I lasted two hours before the vertigo hit.

Maybe if I watch the cd, I would learn some tricks, but really, a cd about how to walk in shoes?

Okay I’m going to watch it on Friday. I’ll let you know if I learn anything exciting. Maybe I’ve been walking incorrectly my entire life and the cd is going to give me the key to a new and better walking style. Maybe I’ll instantly be cellulite free; maybe I’ll have the most incredible legs in town–in another lifetime, perhaps.

And no I won’t ever break down and tell you how much they cost. I won’t even tell you the brand name.

But after I watch that damn cd, I bet I will be a new and improved person. Maybe I’m just resistant to learning new things. Maybe I’m ashamed of buying these shoes that did happen to be the last pair in my size–somebody came in after me and tried taking them from me. Of course, that’s when I really had to have them.

Harry’s doesn’t use plants. They’re always busy and sometimes the salespeople act as if they’re doing you a favor by selling you shoes. The women around me were all a flutter about the great things that they heard about the sneakers and sandals and how they do change peoples lives.

Yes, I bought two pairs of shoes that are supposed to change my life. If one pair changes my life, do two pairs change them doubly? If all these women were so excited about watching me try them on why did only one woman want to buy them? Why were they all buying sensible Clarks and Mephistos? Okay I also bought a pair of pink Mephisto sandals because they were so darn pretty, I just couldn’t resist.

I ended up wearing my pink/black Timberland boots, and my gray and blue teva exercise sandals most of the time. Which kind of was a shame because I brought a suitcase filled with shoes. Like most women, I guess, I love shoes with a passion that I haven’t been able to work up for clothes in years

At the end of the summer if it doesn’t rain every other day, I will let you know if my sneakers and sandals really do make me into a new person.

First though, I have to watch that darn video.

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Comments

  1. Doug says

    April 7, 2005 at 5:37 pm

    My fear for you is that if you bought two pairs of shoes that change your life, what if the second pair just changes it back?

  2. Fence says

    April 7, 2005 at 5:51 pm

    Are they MBT’s?

  3. mrs meme says

    April 7, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    I LOOOOOOVE shoes too!! first time for me, this, i like your site..

  4. jmfausti says

    April 7, 2005 at 10:03 pm

    I must know more about these shoes. Please tell me all about them.

  5. Jodi says

    April 7, 2005 at 11:35 pm

    My oh my, they sound like some interesting shoes. Do they come with magical powers to get you off your rear to get rid of the fat too??? If so, I must have some!!!

  6. QC says

    April 8, 2005 at 12:35 am

    Maybe you lose the cellulite on the premise that the vertigo takes away your appetite, and you therefore lose weight?

    Ok, you’re right. I’m reaching.

  7. sally says

    April 8, 2005 at 2:21 am

    An instructional CD…okay

  8. Ally says

    April 8, 2005 at 3:54 am

    I don’t think one can EVER have too many pairs of shoes, whether they are magical or otherwise – and these sound fabulous.

  9. mulligan says

    April 8, 2005 at 5:57 am

    If I were to line up all the pairs of shoes I have I could easily circle my house. I can justify buying them because I have something, somewhere that will go with them. Or I will soon.

  10. Deb says

    April 8, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    I think you got ripped off no matter what the price. A pair of stiletto’s will do the same trick I swear.

    So what were they…..

  11. nina says

    April 8, 2005 at 3:21 pm

    I actually heard about Birkenstock sandals that help against cellulite. I´m not sure if I think they work though. I only buy shoes that are comfy and pretty and all that for a reasonable amount of money

  12. Jay says

    April 8, 2005 at 3:42 pm

    The whole cellulite thing made me laugh soo soo hard. That’s the funniest and most ridiculous thing I’ve hard all day.

  13. Pia says

    April 8, 2005 at 8:21 pm

    Anybody who has ever seen me try to walk on stilletos has wet their panties laughing.

    I’m queen of the klutzes on a good day–on a bad day, like well yesterday when I hadn’t slept the night before, I can redefine the meaning of the word “walking into walls.”

    Though I would love to wear them, I can’t, I really can’t.

    Still not telling the brand name, but as far as I know there’s only one brand of these shoes.

    And they are very pretty for sneakers, and really almost dress for sandals

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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