Beyond ranting

THIS IS BEYOND A RANT. THIS IS ANGER; IT’S MORE THAN RATIONAL ANGER. If you think that this is sick or if you just hate me please go here

Don’t just read my post and the comments but the back story which might begin in a post called “Why I believe in abortion. I believe that it was posted on April 4, 2005.

That begins many comments and some follow up posts by me on the subject of abortion. I’m too angry to care who hates me. Let me amend that: I wear being hated as a badge of honor. As I’m a Jewish American who has always lived in liberal areas, I wasn’t really aware that people who have my beliefs are so hated until I began blogging.

I was going to say that I don’t know if this is logical, but I once wrote a post on not being a linear thinker–that brought many hate filled comments about both my mental state and my politics.

Since then I have realized that I am much more a linear thinker than I thought and that many of the people who spewed hate filled comments are both much more non-linear thinkers than I am and many other things. The comments ended up empowering me for many reasons that I won’t go into.

Christians might outnumber me, but I know that most Christians aren’t members of the Christian Right–or Wrong as Cranky always says.

You on the radical right think you have God and the President on your side–but we’re becoming organized. We will win in the next election because we will put aside our petty differences and make sure that our candidate wins. The only way we won’t win is if you pull a Florida on us, and we won’t let that happen.

The whole stem cell debate has stirred up feelings in me that I wasn’t aware I still had. As an adoptee I’m glad I wasn’t aborted and was adopted by my family. As a woman I’m very glad abortion is legal and has been in New York State for longer than Roe v Wade has been enacted.

Back room abortions have always been performed and will be again if abortion is made illegal. Only they will be harder than ever to get, because the penalties will be much more severe.

Think it was easy for me to watch people go through endless rounds of IVF treatments, because “you understand. Adoption is so difficult….” (?)

Yeah I understand you want to spend much money to have somebody genetically as much like you as possible–if the egg and sperm is used, just the sperm–or to pretend that since the woman is pregnant–if not using a surrogate–that “the baby is really ours.”

I never said a thing. But screw you all. Was I any less my parents child because I didn’t come out of my mother’s womb?

I’m in a really bad mood. Literally sick from the weather; have a fever that comes and goes–my throat feels like it has a life of its own. My body feels like a phlegm machine. Sorry if that grosses you out but I’ve been grossed a lot this week.

My mother might have lived had stem cell research been permitted and today I want my mommy. We had to spend years listening to promises of things that might happen–then might have happened had stem cell research been permitted to continue.

My mother had so much hope. Unlike me she never ranted in public, never showed her dark side. She was cute and funny and very likable and everybody wanted to help her. But nobody could. Guess I’m not supposed to be so broken up-she was only my adoptive mom. Not like it was a real relationship or anything. Should save my tears for the biological mother I met and didn’t like. Myreal as in adoptive mom was everything to me. So was my dad who died a decade before her.

In the last couple of years much of her family–not my sister, brother in law–and his family–didn’t want to see her because she looked so frail–and they acted as if it were catching. Screw them. Her mind was still great; they would talk to her on the phone because she never developed “an old lady voice.”

But cells on a petri dish were worth more than my mother’s life. As she wasn’t sick, and died of complications from a fall, I would have to say that lack of treatment for Macular Degeneration did kill her. A new medication has just come out that’s supposed to be great. Frankly, I’m too sick and mentally exhausted to read about it. I don’t know if it helps “wet” or “dry” macular–she had wet which is much more severe. She had much eye scarring. Laser surgery made her Macular worse. Stem cell research–we heard about that for more than a decade. My mother had to spend the last fourteen years of her life become progressively more blind. It wasn’t fun.

Okay so my mother was just an expendable old lady. Is Michael J Fox? He should be in the prime of his career and his life, but he’s not. Okay, he’s too liberal for you. And Reagan was too old.

Screw all of you who believe that life begins in a Petri Dish. Screw all of you who want this to be a Christian country. It’s not, and if it ever became one would not be the United States of America. The Founding Fathers would die again; they’re probably rolling over in their graves–as my mom would say.

The filibuster–all that-it’s important, but this is where we’re putting our money where our mouth is. This is about real lives that can be saved if..I was going to say reverting hundreds of years but if this technology was available then the Founding Fathers and every person who thinks–not in rhetoric–but thinks about life and its worth would have wanted stem cell research

My sister was married the year our father died. She had the wedding of her dreams anyway because life goes on. Of course it could have never been the wedding of her real dreams because she wanted both our parents to walk her down the aisle. She, and my mother and I wanted my father there. But it couldn’t be and we accepted it.

I feel like a stranger in my own country. I feel that soon we will become a Christian country and that everybody who doesn’t believe will be sent to camps or other places to be indoctrinated into the new America. Logically I know that not to be true, but…I feel the oppression that my people have traditionally felt beginning here. No I’m not saying Hitler–but the drunken Cossacks, who tried to gang rape my eleven year old grandmother, and she spent a week hiding in a friendly Christian home while her family didn’t know if she was alive or dead–god I can’t believe that can happen here–but cells in a petri dish being worth more than a living human makes me wonder what our priorities are.

How dare you all put your religious beliefs before the good of the country and the world?

How dare you talk about the frigging petri dish? What good does that do besides serve your self-serving needs and wants? Don’t you want the people who are already alive to have a good quality of life?

This whole debate has gone beyond abortion and anything rational. I’m a third generation American. I’m just as American as you. Live with it–because I will do everything possible to make sure that this never becomes a Christian country. Everything and anything.