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My dad’s story about my parents feelings upon adopting me.

June 22, 2005 By pia

My dad wrote the following story sometime right after I was adopted at not quite four months. My sister (yes a girl was born to our parents almost two years and two weeks later). She found this some months ago. Selfishly I held onto the print copy as I wasn’t ready to even scan it in. Now I have the print copy, and many copies thoughout my computer. Couldn’t format properly; left everything in my dad’s words. I left in most small errors. Hope you enjoy it!
****************

I don’t know exactly what to call this story, or really where

to begin. Suppose that I start near the end which is a

new beginning,— for Marion and me.

The phone rang at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, November l5th. It was

our caseworker. We were waiting 4 years for this call at

last it came. She told Marion that there is a little baby girl, who is ready for adoption. Marion gripped the phone tighter,

her heart beat faster,– she let out a soft “oh”, I gathered

what the call was about, we had to sit down to control ourselves.  Marion whispered “It’s a girl”  we smiled at each other, and words were non-existent. But we both knew that we were glad that it was a girl. As a matter of fact, we realized right then and there that we really preferred a girl. The agency had asked us several times, at different interviews, whether we preferred a boy or a girl  but we never gave a definite preference.

The caseworker told us that the baby is about 3~2 months old, weighed 7 pounds, 4 ounces at birth, and had fair features. She asked us if we would like to meet the baby and get acquainted with her. We readily agreed, and arranged to meet the caseworker, tomorrow at 10 a.m., at the New Rochelle office. The whole conversation lasted a minute, her voice sounded as if she was very pleased in giving us this news.

That night sleep was out of the question. We knew that something great was going to happen to us. Our thoughts were

about the baby. The night dragged on and on it seemed

endless………….. Several times before, during our

married life, we had important events happening the following day,  parties, weddings, our wedding, examinations, vacations, funerals  but somehow, this event appeared most exciting and called for more meditation. Marion and I were married for 11-g-years. We have been very, very, happy with each other  and, have felt that we will always remain that way. Now, we were in the process of adding another to us. What could this baby add to our happiness? could there be more happiness than we have experienced? Perhaps we are inviting heartaches or aggravation! Do we really want a baby? We did not have one of our own – so we applied to a child adoption agency. This was almost 4 years ago. After filing applications, having many interviews, and having our home life studied by a caseworker, we have finally been accepted as suitable people to adopt a child. The phone call told us that they have selected s possible baby for us. Now,,, that the process of waiting and interviewing has ended, and the adoption appears close to

reality – the question on our minds, was do we really

want to go through with it? This question and others kept us tossing from side to side all during the night.

Morning finally came. It was a bright, sunny, fresh, Indian summer day. We had breakfast in a hurry. We stopped at the drug store, and bought a large rattle for the baby — we felt that we just had to bring something for the little girl.

Our car ride to New Rochelle was slow and thoughtful, at one moment glad,  and another doubtful. Question marks began to fill our minds again. What kind of a baby is she? fat, skinny, funny looking, good looking? Will we like her?  will she like us?? How will we be introduced to each other? Where is she kept now? — perhaps in a hospital or in an institution. When will we have to make up our minds whether or not to accept her?

We arrived at the office promptly at 10. The caseworker greeted us pleasantly and made us comfortable in a small room. She brought in a file, and using its contents as a guide, told h us more details about the babys background.

Some of the physical and educational details of the baby’s father and mother were told us. Also, some information about the grandparents, and the brothers and sisters of the parents. Then, we were told about the baby-

The baby is in good health, lively, completely bald, blue eyes, chubbyish, very fair skinned,  and a special comment was made that on back of the baby’s head, is a large birthmark which may go away completely, or be covered by her hair. She informed us that the baby has been kept in a private home since birth, and was kept by a very capable woman, who has two teen-age children of her own. We listened intently. We felt fine hearing

all this, — and our anxiety to see the baby was reaching the

point of impatience.

Marion, I and the caseworker left the office at about 11, and in 15 minutes we arrived by cab in front of the house. It was an old, large, pleasant looking wooden house, situated back on a beautiful lawn of grass and trees. There was a porch along the whole length of the house. Marion and I always liked a porch on a house. The woman of the house came to the door and invited us in. The caseworker introduced us to her and the usual formal greetings were exchanged. The house was well kept and clean. It was really homey, neatly furnished with pretty curtains. The large foyer had a stairway leading upstairs, and a spacious living room adjoined the foyer. The foster mother went upstairs to prepare the baby while the caseworker ushered us into the living room.

————- The seconds seemed like years, our hearts began

to beat fast we were excited. The question marks be;-an to haunt us again. What will we say to the baby?/ Will we meet her in the crib? What could we see through the bars? Is she

asleep? Will she cry? smile? What should we do???—-

Our mental gymnastics were interrupted by the footsteps of the

foster mother coming down the steps – and as she came into

view — we saw her carrying the baby. She was walking towards

us —- Our hearts stood still…. Nothing in us moved….

we were frozen— the baby was starring at us………….

…. Her caseworker broke the silence, telling us to take the

baby. Vie dazedly looked at each other Marion took the baby

in her arms — The caseworker ad foster mother left the room.

………………………. We were alone.—-

She was a beautiful baby, – her blue eyes pierced our hearts.., she seemed like such a good baby. We loved her immediately,  we were thrilled by her she smiled at us, – and we cried inwardly. Such joy we have never experienced, or ever anticipated. The baby was in complete command of the situation, and

was at ease. She kept on smiling, kicking, and gooing WE

were frozen with happiness afraid that anything we may say

or do will melt some of it…….. She finally made us smile

back at her, coo to her, and play with her. We were warming up

to each other — and a little more at ease. I took the baby

from Marion and held her in my arms an exquisite sensation

went through my body — she was so warm, easy to handle, so Clean, so smooth, so very good. We talked and played with her  and she seemed so pleased,., she smiled continuously. We remembered the rattle, and gave it to her. She looked at it, but was not able to grasp it  we realized that it was too large for her that she was only a little baby we laughed heartily, and, she laughed with us. We were having such a good time. We were

enjoying each other immensely we held her on our laps, then

over our shoulders, then we held her together, we patted her, we squeezed her, — she was so wonderfully cooperative she,

knew that we were inexperienced…. but, she tolerated us

we were positively sure that she approved of us Time appeared

to have reversed itself,— the minutes seemed like seconds.

We kept on admiring the baby, What a good little baby] What a nice little baby What a wonderful little baby

Finally, after half an hour, the caseworker and foster mother entered the room, and they seemed pleased that the 3 of us were absorbed in each other. We told them what a wonderful time we

were having. The foster mother took the baby, and we

squeezed and patted the baby good-bye —– our eyes followed

the baby up the stairs. The caseworker asked us what we thought

of the baby  and, in no uncertain terms we said, that we

liked her very, very much… that she was a cutie-pie.

She suggested that we go back to the office. Vie took the rattle and left.

All the way back to the office we were remarking over and over again, what a happy baby she was, and that she seemed like such a good baby, also, that she was such a pretty baby even without any hair — simply a picture of a doll. The caseworker asked us what we thought of the birthmark on the baby’s head. We admitted that we did not even look for it  it seemed so unimportant, and that we Here so busy playing with the baby.

Back at the office we were asked if we would like to see the baby again, so that we could get better acquainted; and thereby,

help us decide whether she is the baby we want…… Marion

and I answered at the same time “We only want that is baby, and we feel that she wants us.” The caseworker asked us if we are

sure of it — and in a chorus we gave a definite “YES”, and

that we want her as soon as possible. She wanted to know if – Here prepared to have things ready for the baby over the week-end.
We replied “That we were impatient and would prefer taking the
baby the next day, if possible.” “That we would spend the next
2h hours concentrating on getting things for her.”‘- ……

………………….. The caseworker smilingly agree d, we

could have the baby tomorrow- at 10 a.m.

We left for home at 12 o’clock noon,- we were happily excited.

The next hours were spent in making room for the baby, for her crib, chest of drawers, bathenette, carriage. We also, had to run around buying these things, for immediate delivery. All of this getting ready and buying things gave us a lot of pleasure. Our friends and family gave us excellent cooperation. Everything and everybody was wonderful.

All night long we kept thinking of the baby we talked abound

her into the night,. What a happy baby. What a good baby. Such
a nice baby………………….

Friday was a brighter and sunnier day,, the weather was beautiful, Our breakfast consisted of orange juice, and thoughts of the baby

—– that was nourishment enough. V/e took the suggested things

for the baby,, clothes, blanket, and bottles for formula–

we also took along a new, pretty little rattle.

Our car ride to New Rochelle was fast and impatient we were

anxious to see the baby to hold her again,  to smile at her

— to pat her— Oh just to be with her again………….

We wondered! will she “be the same as yesterday  will she smile at us  maybe she will cry babies do cry!  we could not imagine her crying.

We arrived at the office again promptly at 10. She had us sign some papers and went with us in our car to the baby. We , arrived at the same  time as the doctor did.

When Marion and I entered the house and saw the baby again,

—– the thrills came back, – she gave us a broad smile,

raised her eyebrows,– kicked her feet, – and, waved her

hands excitedly,—– she hypnotized us.

The foster mother undressed the baby and the doctor examined her. She took the examination so well, cooperated so beautifully,

not a whimper out of her,– it was a pleasure to watch. Everything

was all right with her. The doctor showed us the birthmark, and told us that it should go away in time  it was really a very insignificant mark. After the examination the foster mother dressed the baby and wrapped her in a blanket. Marion took the

baby,——- and,——- such a thrill could not be explained

— it seemed like a dream.

The ride home was one of ecstasy. The sun was shining its

brightest on November 17th, 19^0 —- it will so be recorded

in our diary….. The baby lay quietly on Marion’s lap, all

bundled up,— with her little face peering at us………

Slowly and peacefully, she fell asleep. We rode very slowly, –
— such pleasure an we felt should not be hurried. We were both
pleased, contented, and very, very happy. Everything around us
appeared calm and beautiful,— we spoke in quiet tones, —the

baby was sleeping. We discussed a name for her, and, decided

both to name her after/our fathers P and T,  we felt so

proud. All the way home we kept saying “She is such a good little

baby” — “Such a nice little baby” – “Such a wonderful little

baby” — …………… “When we arrived home, ———-

we were a family of 3, — Max, Marion, and PIA TANYA SAVAGE.,

Filed Under: my parents Tagged With: Adoption, my parents, personal essays

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Comments

  1. Sapphire says

    June 22, 2005 at 11:55 am

    Absolutely the most touching thing I’ve read in a long time. You’re very lucky to have evidence – written, no less – that you were a treasured child. Thank you for sharing this with us!

  2. Suzi says

    June 22, 2005 at 12:01 pm

    What a beautiful story. I enjoyed every single word.

  3. Trixie says

    June 22, 2005 at 2:04 pm

    Shoot, now you gone and made me cry in the middle of my morning chores…

    I guess few kids can be as sure of how wanted, fought for, and loved they were at their arrival as the adopted ones.

  4. Steve says

    June 22, 2005 at 5:23 pm

    Didn’t know you were adopted, I was too. I was three months old, not four. Small world!

  5. Doug says

    June 22, 2005 at 9:00 pm

    Has anyone ever told you that you have your father’s voice?

  6. Andrea says

    June 23, 2005 at 5:50 am

    That was a beautiful story. I wonder how many parents who gave birth to their child have written such moving words towards their children!

  7. jane says

    June 23, 2005 at 8:05 am

    such a beautiful love story

  8. Ally says

    June 23, 2005 at 5:18 pm

    Pia, that is beautiful. I am sitting here with tears running down my face. The adoption agency are coming for an initial meeting with us next week … .

  9. Trine says

    June 24, 2005 at 3:35 pm

    that is a really touchgin story Pia! I haven’t had time to read it till now and am so glad i took the time. interesting that you have a way with words and so did your dad….

  10. Pia says

    June 24, 2005 at 4:19 pm

    Thanks. Obviously this post means a great deal to me.

    My dad was a great story teller. Would tell long seemingly boring stories. Then he’d come in for the kill, and I couldn’t stop laughing no matter how many times I had heard it before.

    But first I had to haar the long boring parts–for the thousandth time. My mom taught me how to fake it.

    Though most people just thought he was a genuinely good story teller.

    And an even better person. I was very blessed with my choice of family. And always knew it.

    Not as a “oh, you’re so lucky to be adopted by them.” But “they’re wonderful.”

    then I realized that they were eccentric and quirky and felt license to be myself!

  11. frstlymil says

    June 25, 2005 at 5:57 am

    That was beautiful – very meaningful to me personally – and yes, it did make me cry. At work, thank you very much.

  12. Angela Wilson says

    February 18, 2006 at 2:55 am

    Thanks for sharing such a great story (sniff sniff)

Trackbacks

  1. Courting Destiny » Blog Archive » Being Adopted says:
    February 17, 2006 at 10:44 pm

    […] https://courtingdestiny.com/archives/2005/06/22/my-dads-story-about-my-parents-feelings-upon-adopting-me/ […]

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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