Rafe came over tonight. Some of you know that he’s one of my two best friends; straight, married, owns a Madison Avenue hair salon. Something about me attracts Madison Ave hair stylists as I’ve been friends with many since I was eighteen. Might have something to do with my very thick almost unnameable hair.
We talked about the first time we met. Lucia was working as a temp hair salon receptionist while she waited for her job as manager of an architectural plaster company and store in Nolita to begin. She called to tell me about an incredible hair stylist who had to cut my hair.
Rafe was adorable, but his hair slid down my back and began touching me. I slapped him. He was shocked as no woman had done that before. He’s Colombian, macho male personified. He’s also one of the most sensitive caring people that I know; if I had only seen his macho side I would have missed out on one of the best friendships that I have ever had.
Twenty years ago, I taught Rafe that, yes, you can respect women, and yes you can be platonic friends. We almost slid once, but laughed too hard. His wife is my friend; it would have been incest. Yick.
At first my mother would ask many questions as she found it fascinating and unusual. Of course, she understood my friendships with gay males.
Did point out that both she and my father had friends of the opposite sex, and what made that any different? I did stay at Rafe’s house, and he visits until very late. We spur each other on, and are always there for each other during good and bad times. Think people need more friendships like ours.
Could be wrong.
Last night I was groping for this sentence: do most people think platonic friendships can work between men and women when both are in couples?
I have just been given some very interesting gossip about my building that explains why nothing in this luxe Upper West Side coop makes sense. Now everything does. My confidential source is extremely reliable. Will not name this source though said source got it straight from Fernando the doorman–no source isn’t Rafe or Lucia. This will be my weekend post. Can’t wait to put it in!
Oh yes, Lucia accused me of being a platonic man stealer. Did say she met him first, as she called me to tell me about him. Am going to do a series on Lucia, Rafe and Pia sit around and shoot the bull. Actually much more exciting than it sounds. Really.
Hey Pia,
I know you said that you didn’t like meme things usually, but this is my first time so I am tagging you. If you don’t do it, I will understand, but couldn’t stand not to put your name and link up. 🙂 Your it!
I am one of those poeple who’ve always wanted but have never had any really close male friends (they always ended up hating being boyfriends.. no jokes please!) but david and I have two friends (another couple) where I suppose I am as “good” a friend with both of them. I like that, but I wonder if it only works because we’re all four in relationships and because all four of us only fancy the person we’re with, and apart from that are completely opposites of each other’s ‘types’.
god, how complicated.
it works anyway, and that’s the point right?
I have slept with most of my make friends. sad I know..but there is always sexual tension. No wait, there are a few guy pals that have always been platonic but they wanted to bed me not that I wanted them at all! Oh why are you asking this on a hot steamy Friday afternoon!!
besides my husband, my best friend is a male. he is thinking of proposing to his girlfriend soon. we are very close and share a lot, i think its possible. You just have to be careful that you don’t become emotionally dependent on that person instead of your spouse.
The problem is that I’m not part of a couple currently.
When I was young, I slept with almost all my platonic male friends. They were also friends with my boyfriend. I was very very young.
But by the time I was 19, okay 20 realized how sick that was
I’ve always had male friends. A lot of the time, though, it turned out that they were interested in me as more than a friend, but I would never assume such and so I didn’t realize. It just never occurred to me, I guess. I am still friends with the best man from my wedding to my ex-husband. But, he informed me, when he got engaged, that he wasn’t allowed to play with me anymore. It was very sad. He was such a great pal.
I am breathless waiting to hear the scoop on the building politics. We want this post now! 🙂
I have male friends. Usually they are people I have met either through work or through a female friend or an old love. All of those folks are technically off limits in my mind, so that means that all the icky tension stuff goes away and you can “just be friends.” These have been some of the best friends I have ever had! Wish I had a good friend that was a sylist. I used to, but we have grown apart (or my sister got in the way) He was wonderful and I probably haven’t had as good a hair cut since.
Sure they work, in bizzaro world maybe.
guys are always lookin’ to score
trust me
My husband always told me those kind of friendships always work for the girl, but not for the guy. He says a guy who is friends with a girl is always longing for a physical relationship of sorts, while the girl is oblivious to it.
Rafe did offer to father my children for the zillionth time last night, but I laughed so he laughed
Was going to say I think some sexual tension is healthy but now I feel like a platonic husband stealer
Wow…I hope that guys wife doesn’t end up reading this! Then there could be trouble.
Maybe. I only have one female friend because I think it’s not possible.
Since we’ve been friends for 20 years I think we’re safe
Don’t forget I met him first! LOLOL! You platonic-man hog!
And yes, his wife does get jealous occassionally. She soon learns that it is fruitless as he would never give up our friendship. She fortunately for us all is an incredibly independent woman who is as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside. When he was younger he might’ve been straying a bit and Pia and I would be on his case big time. Don’t come crying to us afterward for damage control…you might say we’ve saved their marriage more than once over the years. All those women in his business the temptations are great. Besides when we all hang we have a blast!
Let’s just say that life wouldn’t be the same without him in it for either of us. I’m sure he would say the same. Thick and thin friends. She has learned to live with that and for that we love her!
Yes Lucia, and that’s all going to be in the next installment “girls night in.”
Thanks for the promo!