• Home
  • Archive
  • About
  • Awards & Media
  • Contact
    • Facebook
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Courting Destiny

  • Courting Classics
  • Fiction
  • Mainstream Media
  • New York Stories
  • My Parents
  • Mental Health
  • N. Myrtle Beach

Sign Up For My Weekly Newsletter!

Coming home, part three

August 12, 2005 By pia

Moxiegrrl has a great post that’s been linked to by CNN and AOL. Bring it on!

I’m jet lagged; haven’t finished going through my mail or doing the laundry; went out last night because I had to see Lucia who made me some great Courting Destiny business cards! They do look like I’m a madam for an escort service or something but who cares?

I will be back to Zachary next week. I will even spend one day just surfing through blogs now unkown to me.

Need a break, and the family reunion will occupy Friday night through Sunday morning. When people ask that first pivotal question, I will just hand them a card, and force them to take me and blogging seriously. Sure anybody who doesn’t work 9-5 knows that question well.
“So what are you doing?”
How does she support herself?

It’s the dog days of August; life is supposed to be slower and more mellow now. I will try to practice that.

I think I have found my great love in life, and it’s called writing. I will always adore, be faithful to and treat myself well. That’s not a promise; it’s a goal. While men have promised that; I’m the only person who can make it a true number one goal.

Lucia says that I look like I’m in love and am glowing. It has only taken me most of my life to come back to what I always knew that I wanted to do.
Maybe sometimes we have to go around the world many times to find out that our street is the best one; maybe sometimes we have to work at many careers before coming home to the one that fits like the tightest Italian leather glove, is as soft, smooth and wears well forever.

But I tend to lose gloves like that. I don’t want to lose myself; my promises to myself.

Nor do I ever want to forget the way I feel now. Secure, happy, and sure that I have made the right decision. I actually almost feel mature and wise. Do people ever really feel that way for more than a day or a couple of hours? Do most people put on act called maturity? Do most people never think about that and let life role over them?

I wish I could ask my parents that question. They would have understood; they would have answered honestly. They probably did answer this question not once but several times. Now that they’re up there somewhere, their words tend to come in a jumble, all the years feel as one, and sometimes I can’t remember exactly how they felt about certain things. Other times I remember everything with great clarity. I want to keep them in the moment with me yet I refuse to make every decision based on ghosts and images I have resurrected that might only be my perception or my want.

Stop this Pia, you promised yourself you wouldn’t analyze every word that enters your brain, or every thought that occupies the space you call your mind.

But taking this to the next level; it seems so easy and so impossible at the same time. A year ago this week when I began this blog I had no idea that anybody would read it but me. People do; my confidence in my ability to hold peoples interest has increased a thousand fold.

Not being 25 or even 35 anymore presents certain limitations in the world of relentless self-promotion. It’s strange to still have things to prove, to me, if not to anybody else. Maybe that helps. Maybe it keeps me young and reminds me, constantly, of the way I once felt. Maybe it’s a good thing to still have mountains to climb; to still want to suceed at things that once seemed as unattainable as jumping to the moon by myself.

Maybe I should smile, give out my new Courting Destiny business cards, and say:
“This is me; this is who I will be; this is who I have become.”

Stop me before I become Helen Reddy singing “I am woman….”

You know, it might have been a stupid song but the message was a good one. Let me take that message to middle aged nirvana. Most of all let me get the book proposal into final fighting form.

Stop this Pia, go back to bed so you can get back up and take off the sparing gloves. Life’s too short to be so insecure. And you’re not; you’re really really not.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Aging

« Change at Atlanta; change at Jamica
Housekeeping, My family; myself »

Comments

  1. cooper says

    August 12, 2005 at 6:09 pm

    I am glad you are going to bed. lol

    You write for others sake as much as for your own and thank god for that.
    I can’t wait for more on the Zach as I call him.
    As one who has just started her trip I have to say I hope it never ends just as yours never has and probably never will.

  2. Doug says

    August 12, 2005 at 9:12 pm

    Pia, I don’t know that I agree with your stopping yourself from analyzing. Part of what is stunning about this site is the way you ramble than drill down. You write like a rollercoaster rocks. That’s a great part of both you and your writing.

    Advice to writers on writing from non-writers is gratis, by the way. That’s just my vote.

    Have a great weekend and if not that a tolerable one. How can I get cards that make me look like a madam?

  3. Pia says

    August 12, 2005 at 10:34 pm

    Well Doug, first you have to a picture of a pinup not a dog on your site!

    Then we will work on the rest!

  4. Doug says

    August 12, 2005 at 11:07 pm

    How about a pin-up dog?

  5. Pia says

    August 12, 2005 at 11:25 pm

    Might do; if it’s as cute as Toto my imaginary Maltese!

  6. andrena says

    August 13, 2005 at 7:22 am

    haven’t been by in awhile..hope you are well!!!

  7. The Fool says

    August 14, 2005 at 2:35 am

    Pia, the age thing reaches up and bites me now and then too. I have to realze that most of who I see online are twentysomethings but don’t let that get under your skin. Life’s spoils go to the wise and I’m sure you have that in spades.

  8. Ted says

    August 14, 2005 at 5:44 am

    Cool Blog I will take some time and give it a read.

    Do we get to see the new business cards?

    Ted

  9. Qiu says

    August 14, 2005 at 5:13 pm

    Nice pink female blog you have!!

  10. The Fool says

    August 14, 2005 at 8:20 pm

    Oh yes, I gotta second the above request. How about a business card? 🙂

  11. Tammy says

    August 15, 2005 at 9:14 am

    P, I’m with Doug about you stopping yourself from analyzing. Keep analyzing. It’s part of what makes your writing great. You dig right down into the dirt and you don’t stop until you find what you’re looking for and I love that about you.

  12. trine says

    August 15, 2005 at 9:24 pm

    i join the chorus calling for continued analysis. Its what you do best.

Search for your favorite post!

Follow Me!

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sign up Now!

Sign up now and get my latest posts delivered right to your inbox!

About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

Categories

Archives

All material contained herewith is owned by Pia Savage, LLC

Copyright © 2021 Courting Destiny · Designed by Technology-Therapist