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Rumors

August 3, 2005 By pia

Okay the rumor that I’m not going to post anymore during my vacation has been greatly exaggerated by me. I decided that for the rest of my trip I will use this as a form of an online journal

I have spent almost the past four years hearing rumors of impending terrorist attacks. And I wrote a long and whiny post that was lost when my Internet service went out.

To most people in the USA it’s a hypothetical;to those of us who live and/or work in New York or DC it’s not. I have spent too much time the past four years not listening to rumors. They’re not funny; they’re don’t serve to do anything. Nothing at all.

I keep on saving this post and losing it. Must be a harbinger…Too bad because I had great metaphors and even managed to work in the word tsuanami. Oh well. When I leave New York I feel two distinct emotions: calmness and fear. I no longer feel calm at home, not even in my own apartment, yet I never let myself feel concious fear. So when I go away, the fear comes racing out. I start believing the stupid rumors and want to run home because if something horrible happens to my city where almost everyone I love the most lives I wouldn’t want to live.

Then I get angry at myself for feeling that, and want to live just to show people something–don’t ask me what; nothing about this is rational. I do know what I want to show: I am strong; I am a New Yorker; and like that tree that grows in Brooklyn among the concrete and the hard world, I can flourish anywhere. (This last sentence was just added upon reflection.)

Meant to say (it was late; the computer ate my homework) that fear, even repressed fear, never has stopped me or anybody I know from doing anything. If we give into it, we not only give into the terrorists but to the idiots (radical right I would think) who make up these vile rumor laden “advisory’s.”

I say all this and I love the city of my birth very much but Iwill probably leave within the year for the city that I’m going to tomorrow. I want an easier life and a slightly less expensive one. When people ask me what’s cheap in New York, I don’t have to think. Coffee beans–you can get incredible coffee beans for anywhere from $3.99 to$5.99, we’re a city of people who love to wake up and grind the beans. But you can’t live on coffee alone and you can’t live on repressed fear.

Filed Under: 9/11, mental health Tagged With: 9/11, If I'm not Christian, am I still an American?

« Horoscopes
A trip to DC with a detour.. »

Comments

  1. mrsmogul says

    August 3, 2005 at 5:20 pm

    S.M is cheaper than NY? Yeah I would buy a home there. You never know…
    Regarding the last part, how about..you can’t live on coffee alone and you can’t live on “expresso” fear LOL. That leads to my post today..Coincidence!

  2. Valerie says

    August 3, 2005 at 5:31 pm

    Excellent post.

  3. Bone says

    August 3, 2005 at 8:20 pm

    Yay. Vacation posteses! Hope you’re having a good trip.

  4. cooper says

    August 3, 2005 at 9:05 pm

    Meh, rumors tend to become exaggerated, glad this one is not true.
    You can’t live in coffee???????? Are you sure?

  5. bonnie says

    August 3, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    Why people even bother writing stuff like that dates analysis is beyond me.

    Oh, yeah, because it’s attention-grabbing & the writer gets a paycheck, whereas if he’d admitted that he had nothing of value to contribute to the body of knowledge, instead of just making shit up, he wouldn’t have gotten a paycheck this week.

    Sheesh.

    Anyways, hope you find some enjoyable & interesting topics during the Savage Family Reunion!

  6. Becky says

    August 3, 2005 at 9:49 pm

    Just remember that talk is cheap, as are rumours (and coffee in New York!) 🙂

    Don’t let rumours ruin your fun. Fear terror and the terrorists have won.

  7. JC says

    August 4, 2005 at 12:46 am

    Pia, if you can’t feel safe at home, you should leave. I know none of us is ever totally safe, but having a home as a haven is a great thing. There is no excitement for me here in the middle of the cornfields, but there is peace and there is a lot to be said for peace. Hugs!

  8. windspike says

    August 4, 2005 at 1:29 am

    Humm, cheep coffee beans v. pent up terror fear? I say, grind them both toss in a dash of vodka and you have yourself one helluva cocktail.

    Blog on Sister – and have a great vacation.

  9. sillybahrainigirl says

    August 4, 2005 at 2:58 am

    enjoy ur holiday 😉
    leave the fear aside..

  10. Junebugg says

    August 4, 2005 at 10:52 am

    Fear is what keeps us alive. If we weren’t afraid to do stupid things our life spans would be a lot shorter! Enjoy your vacation.

  11. jane says

    August 4, 2005 at 11:13 am

    If I’m understanding this correctly, you’re confessing to fabricating rumors about yourself? lol
    needed the laugh. thank you

  12. Emily says

    August 4, 2005 at 9:33 pm

    I think you hit on an important point. It’s normal and natural to feel fear. The bravery comes in when you don’t let that stop you from living.

  13. EKENYERENGOZI MICHAEL CHIMA says

    August 4, 2005 at 9:34 pm

    I look forward to having a copy of any of your books with your autograph on it.

    The more I relax to read your narrative journal the more I want to meet you one fine day.

    You write from your heart and soul.
    Very sensitive and no hype.
    I just love your sentivity and simplicity.

    May Be I will arrange a literary tour for you in Nigeria as a guest writer.

  14. Chandira says

    August 4, 2005 at 10:57 pm

    Pia, fear follows you. I know. I have moved several places to get away from things I feared. It doesn’t work. If you love NY, stay there. If you need to move for other reasons, fine, but don’t let the fear drive you away from somewhere you love.

    We all have fear. Fear is part of who we are, until we reach a much higher level of being than most of us are presently capable of. Fear, sorrow, and anger are fundamental to the human condition, sadly. They are there to be transcended, and seen for what they are. Illusions, created by us to support our egoic way of doing things, our determination to remain separate from love.
    Love is what’s real. Feel the love you have of NY, and stay in that instead.

    Enjoy your vacation!!!

  15. MClements says

    August 5, 2005 at 7:38 am

    Pia,

    We don’t write the headlines. We don’t write the articles. TerroristWarning.com is not made up of ‘rumors’, we simply locate news items related to terrorism from news organizations all around the world and make them available to people who specifically ask us to send them to them. If you think the various news articles about terrorism are rumors, at least charge the news organizations who write the stories, not us please.

  16. Pia says

    August 5, 2005 at 8:28 am

    Oh but you do write the headlines. You take all the rumors and put them into one easy to read place.

    The newspapers that I read (NY papers usually since I live there don’t print these rumors.)

    Asking school bus drivers to be on the alert is probably stupid but harmless, yet you print it as if the article said that terrorists are out to target them.

    If and every person I know, at home, thought that all the rumors we have heard in the past four years were true, wouldn’t we all be dead of heart attacks or have killed ourselves by now?

    You are playing into the enemies hands, and you will have dirt on your fingers. You can’t ask me not to “charge you” when you add fear and fuel to the fire. You publish these rumors in a forum that is open to the public; I have a right to respond.

    Actually I don’t understand why you are asking me not to “charge” you. I would think that you would want Terroristwarning.com to have all the publicity it could have

    Could it be because the people the people who read my blog are intelligent and think for themselves?

    Could it be because they think that the rumors (and if they’re not rumors shouldn’t every news organization print them on their front pages, and TV and radio stations blaring them) are designed to keep people fearful and in line?

    Actually you are saying nothing that hasn’t been said before. What happens when there is validity to some of your rumors? Wouldn’t it be like the boy who cried wolf too often?
    I copied this from your latest dispatch

    [AP] NEW YORK – Guard troops go active to step up transit safety [ TW Editor note, Thanks to PurePursuitIntelNetwork.com for sending us this article.]”Gov. George E. Pataki on Friday ordered hundreds of National Guard troops to state active duty to increase security at New York City mass transit facilities”

    Then there’s your editors note

    TerroristWarning.com Editors Note –
    wilth all the talk and theories of a potential Al Qaeda nuclear or radiological attack within the United States in the coming 2 weeks, we thought it appropriate to include the following first link…[Virginia Dept of Emergency Management] USA – Nuclear – Terrorism Information: The Facts – How to Prepare – How to Respond

    You made that news. You said “with all the talk and theories…” How is that a hard news item?

    I was talking about my fears that have been driven by people who think they’re doing a public service to pander to people who either like being scared, want to see other people be scared or have other warped reasons for reading your newsletter

  17. MClements says

    August 5, 2005 at 9:27 am

    Pia,

    Thank you for responding. Like everyone in America you are more than welcome to have and express your opinion. The school bus article, was an Associated Press article, again we didnt write it we just made it available for those who want to be made aware of such things.
    I did add an editorial comment about why we were placing a link to a VA state government website which we included because part of what we hope to do is educate people about what to do when a terrorist attack happens, and thats what people tell us they want. It was in response to hard news articles that had appeared in our alert in recent weeks and which is relevant because those articles indicate a potential severe terrorist attack August 6th or 9th here in the USA. We hope those articles are wrong, but none the less people do want to be aware of them, and they do want to have information on what to do if something does happen. I dont see how we can be faulted for letting people know about potential terrorist attacks, or what to do when they occur. It’s not that we dont want publicity, we want people to know that such a service exists, but we are a free service so its not like we gain anything other than being able to reach and help more people, and we do not operate under some conspiracy to bring fear to the public, we are not funded by any government, political, religious, or any special interest group. We seek to educate and inform only those people who ask for the information. Most of the articles in our alerts are about events which have already occured, such as in the last couple of days bombs have gone off killing people in Iraq, Turkey, Israel, Colombia. These are real events, not rumors. The people who died are real people, not rumors. The people who die in tomorrows bombings around the world are real people. Also its not sick minded people who read our alerts, its primarily military, law enforcement, first responders, public health and public safety professionals. There are also teachers, parents, park rangers, bus drivers, and others who serve the public in some way, and concerned citizens. They use our service because our government has failed to provide them with an adequate government sanctioned one that works.
    Again you have a right to your opinion, and I respect that, but our goal is not to be a rumor mill but to make available terrorism related news items to those want this kind of information, period.

  18. Pia says

    August 5, 2005 at 11:12 pm

    Your definition of terrorism is so broad as to be meaningless.

    You lost any credibility with the animal rights activist; is he going to run to blow up a chemical factory? You didn’t say what he was in prision for

    Bombings in Colombia usually have drug cartel overtones with revolutionary undertones, and are very different than the kind of terrorist activites people here fear.

    I could go on; I won’t.

    You almost eloquently describe how our government is doing nothing so you come in to fill a void.

    You give state of Virginia instructions on how to survive.

    Only what does it say? Nothing that will help me a person who lives in Manhattan–you know that little Island where 9/11 happened.

    How am I supposed to survive if something like that happened? Oh it will just show that you’re right. Just like the governmnent who probably prays for Manhattan’s destruction

    Long Island–how are people supposed to get off it

    I can not tell you how happy it makes me that you think I have a right to my own opinion. Thought that was established in The First Amendment

    I won’t dignify the rest of your comment

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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