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I'm so confused

October 8, 2005 By pia

I’m so confused. Oh I already said that in the title.

I wrote a special weekend Bring it on! piece on who am I supposed to believe regarding the new New York subway terrorist warnings.

I know that we’re never supposed to admit that we’re scared; let alone give into fear, but I think that makes therapists richer. Face it these are scary times, especially for New Yorkers, and if we finally begin talking about our fears, maybe we can help defeat the enemy. I understand that Bush invoked the name of the real enemy Bin Laden in his speech yesterday numerous times.

Unfortunately as he was telling Americans not to be scared, terrorist warnings were being unleashed here. It’s easy for him to talk; well, no he does have problems in that area. But he neither lives in New York nor takes the subway when he is here.

Of course I’m not going to stop taking the subway. Think that people who pretend to be terrorists and force the closings of stations–should be treated as if they were real terrorists, because they are.

What really angers me is the knowledge that the Bush administration fuels fears. They feed on it; it keeps them alive. Screw them; writing that made me feel great.

Had the radio on as I was writing it; as the DJ was telling people not to go to Penn Station she was playing songs like the original and best version of Downtown Train–nobody beats Tom Waits; and while I’ll listen to Tom Waits sing anything, this wasn’t the time for it. It sounded almost sinister. Then she played numerous songs about tragedy. Not sure that she was conciously doing that. Or maybe everything affected me too much today.

I used to force people to listen to Tom Waits version of Waltzing Matilida so much that when I thought I was dying two years ago, and made Lucia plan my Memorial Service, she was going to play Waltzing Matilda every third song, and “The Piano’s been drinking,” every fifth song.

My memorial service was going to take place at a pan Hispanic restaurant that has since closed; but since I have a cousin who is the chef at a hot downtown restaurant will change it to that restaurant. Not that I’m planning on dying anytime soon, but I am in the mood for a big party.

Saw The Constant Gardener last night. Thought that it was a great movie but much too sad for me. I need to be entertained now when I go to the movies. Between terrorist threats, figuring out how I can afford to live in New York and if it’s really worth the many costs, and other such stuff I have a great need to be entertained.

Don’t know 2005’s statistics but a few years ago I read that the Upper West Side has the largest movie going population in the country; forget how many screens we have in a 20 block area but we have many, and if you go north from 84th and Broadway, even more. The Loews 68th Street had the highest per seat revenue of any theater in the country. On weekends you have to buy tickets in advance and get there at least 45 minutes early. It’s almost not worth it.

Still love that multiplex. Sometimes I go to Barnes & Noble, get a book, and then go the theater about 45 minutes before the first show during the week, and sit and read. It feels so decadent.

Yes my version of decadent has changed much. Now it’s dark choclate with ginger, then it was….read for yourselves.

I’m going to keep Courting on the light anecdote and sexual sides as I often write simply to entertain myself. Usually if I laugh at something I write other people will also. Zachary stories also.

I also nominate and award myself the first annual way too prolifiec blogger award; my posts might also be shorter. Sometimes they might even be linear.

In my Bring it on! post all I really had to say was:

I don’t understand a federal government that tells a city about a specific suspected terrorist attack and then essentially takes the warning back.

And I’m going to have me a James Spader film festival weekend with The Big Easy thrown in, in support of the people of New Orleans. The first week it was out in the movies I saw it three times, it was a First Friday Night Movie–a ritual with some friends, saw it again Monday night

Then went to the 11 AM Saturday showing, the next weekend, at the Sutton or some old theatre on the East Side; watched the audience. Never saw so many women move back and forth in their seats.

Yes it was that sexy. When Dennis Quaid is good, he’s very very very good

Filed Under: Uncategorized

« Sex and me
Indict Karl Rove; and I don't know what to call Bloomberg »

Comments

  1. S. L. Cunningham says

    October 8, 2005 at 6:30 am

    Pia:
    Much to reflect on here. What you say about being held hostage to “fear” is so true. The terrorists don’t have to follow through with an actual threat. Just by making it, they create such havoc as it is. What it does to our collective psyche, though, by living in fear of an attack robs us of our vitality.

    I’m beginning to enjoy my visits to your blog. Your writing is both purposeful and meaningful, and I like the honesty of your persona.

    Scot

  2. Wes says

    October 8, 2005 at 12:31 pm

    I’m not sure what it is about your daily writings that intrigue me so much. It may be the thought of living in a big city and the effects it has on one’s phyche, but I thought I’d take the time to say I enjoy it.

  3. jane says

    October 8, 2005 at 12:45 pm

    Motivated by fear. I believe the New York leaders acted properly on information they received about a terrorist threat.
    What I question is why when the shit hits the fan with the Bush regime there’s always a terrorist threat.
    Most Americans aren’t as enthralled in politics as we are & just listen to the headlines. What they hear is: FEAR. They don’t hear, Delay indicted on another count, Karl Rove to testify for a 4th time to the grand jury, More deaths in Iraq, more cronyism with Supreme Court nomination & Katrina contracts.
    Motivate by fear & the masses follow. Worked for him in the 2000 election & too many Americans are still sleeping.

  4. Dawn says

    October 8, 2005 at 1:15 pm

    Hey there, happened on your blog whilst surfing. Will definitely be back, you’ve done a good job. :o)

  5. JC says

    October 8, 2005 at 9:02 pm

    I am not sure who to believe in any of this either. I think that Bush likes to see terrorists stuff made public as that rallied folks around him after 911 and he managed to push a lot of things through when folks weren’t watching or paying attention. I think he would like to keep folks focused on that terrorists mindset in order to keep them from thinking clearly again. All I know is that this kind of stuff sucks for you….to have to worry daily about your city and everyone that you love would be hard to bear. I am afriad that folks will be hostages of that fear for a long time to come.

  6. Ray says

    October 9, 2005 at 1:03 am

    Live in the “no fear” world like the rest of us. Live in a post 9/11 world like the rest of us. Live in the “I’m an American and I’m not ashamed of who I am” world like the rest of us. Live in the world where you can go see a movie without “fear” of being used for someone else’s political purpose or oppression. Live in a world where you and your partner can walk hand and hand and not “fear” the worse. Live in a world where all people dream to come and help them either here or “over there” have that same world but yet different world. Live in a world where “100%” of the population is part of a productive society. Live in a world where all opinions are heard and not suppressed.

    I live in that world and we all would like to have the rest of that world and I believe you do too.

    Nice blog. Keep it up.

  7. Tony says

    October 9, 2005 at 1:55 am

    This is how terrorism works, creating terror is just as important as actually carrying out carnage. The aim is to disrupt. This is why the IRA would often phone up the authorities with precise information as to where they’d planted a bomb, to cause chaos by creating fear. There are no easy answers and if the authorities ignore one warning and it turns out to be genuine, then they will have failed in their duties.

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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