If you haven’t read the story below it’s much more fun, and where this comment came from.
To me, with absolutely no insult meant, this is a pure example of unadulterated, core level, putrid self serving, selfishness.
Excellent writing, and excellent style, but the content just made me sick for the lack of anything near a perception of purpose. Everything described showcased a me only, and me first mentality, totally devoid of a calling or devotion. Being satisfied with a life is not anything near being happy with YOUR life. We all have a purpose, and it usually has nothing to do with ourselves. This entire saga screams of everlasting retreat from that purpose, and a constant struggle to satiate the desire for self indulgence so prevalent in the baby boomer generation. It has become habit, and even chic to glorify the complete lack of drive and disconnectedness that have plagued the offspring of The Greatest Generation
Again, please do not take anything I have said as a personal attack or a direct assault on anyone. I simply tired to express my initial reaction to the piece.
Why should I care if the content of my post made you sick? Who the hell are you to play judge, jury, all attorneys and jailer?
So I come home from four hours of extensive dental work that will finally be finished–in January–to my email that also includes comments. I’m totally wiped and can’t take the pain killers or antibiotics until I eat something and eating seems so unappealing.
No I don’t need all this dental work because of my party animal days or bad oral hygiene or anything like that. Some day I will tell the complete story. I do want my head stone to read “hear lies the most expensive mouth in New York.” No matter where I move I will be buried in New York; it’s home and I own cemetery plots
I think I found the meaning of life when I was on nitrous oxide but damned if I can remember.
How can I not take this as a personal attack?
Lack of “”anything near a perception of purpose?
First what the hell does that mean? Seriously. Read it; it’s pretentious and says nothing. Sorry but I believe that clear writing is important. I meander a lot, but my meanings come through. As do the nuances; I don’t pretend to be modest about my writing. I like it and enjoy writing very much.
When I came home from the dentist at five I went to my computer to write. Many people would have gone to bed; most people would have. It was like having five root canals at once, but more. Really not up to go into the teeth saga. It’s its own mini series. The dentists are two blocks from my old apartment on 63rd off Fifth. Can’t say enough good things about them. Wish I had found them when I lived in the neighborhood.
Don’t understand people who have a need to comment and point out a person’s foibles. What are you a saint? “The complete lack of drive and
disconnectedness that have plagued the offspring….”
Sorry but the “complete lack of drive….” part really really bothers me. who determines drive? Who decides who is disconnected? For what purpose? How do you define those two attributes? How the hell would you know if I lack drive or not? Most people believe that I’m almost too driven. what kind of drive are you talking about? Spiritual, work, social, political?
I’m purposely not talking about what I do, aside from writing. It’s no secret that I’m a founding member of a political blog. It doesn’t lean to the right, and it’s been making a big impact.
Disconnected from what? People, social issues, community, the larger world? How would you know that about me? It must be really sad to have such a boring life that a person has to go into a blog and make disparaging personalized comments.
When I write about myself I’m usually self-deprecating; I don’t like to make fun of individuals: Celebrities, fair game, I suppose; dead people, frankly it depends on the person. But I would die before I went into another individuals blog and made a nasty personal comment.
I have found that people on the radical right or most anybody who watches Fox New tendsto make assumptions, make character assassinations and snap judgements about individuals who have the nerve to have a blog that doesn’t live up to their moral values.
What gives me the right to say this? I’m making the observation on my blog in response to a very sick comment that actually didn’t upset me, but writing is keeping me from feeling the pain. Not big on painkillers so I’m trying to wait until I go to sleep. I’ll ask one more time, what the hell are moral values? It’s a redundant phrase that’s not even a fun oxymoron.
Don’t like a blog when you’re surfing BE, don’t read it, let alone comment on it.
“Putrid self serving selfishness.” Damn straight. I like to write about my life and people like to read about it. Makes me very happy.
Confession: I would be writing these stories even if I didn’t have an audience. Ah but I do; if blogging only paid it would be perfect and I would spend hours a day reading blogs; and at least eight writing. Just a fool for writing.
I’m a writer. I live for feedback, to know the people who read me through comments, their blogs and many times emails.
I have been called mean for simply pointing out that it is prudent to report bags that don’t have people with them. The above comment was soooooo much more mean spirited, insulting and sickening. “Being satisfied with a life is not anything near being happy with YOUR life.” Care too elucidate? Who are you to tell me if I were happy or merely satisfied? Or how I feel now?
Hate the expression passive/aggressive but I would have much preferred had the commenter not said anything about “no insult,” “personal attack,” or “assault.” The whole damn comment was a giant insult on my character.
Thanks though. It gave me energy to write. There was no way this could be construed as as something other than an assault on me, me, me, the most self absorbed person in the history of the universe. Boy is that grandiose.
As was the commenter who felt a need to judge me harshly. I assume I lack purpose in life because I had a young male visitor on Saturday night, and was tipsy when I wrote that post. Charge me please with corrupting the morals of a minor. Too bad he’s 32 and a half, if you want to be specific. We’re both single consenting adults; but what did I explicity state that we did?
Have many male friends. Rafe, one of my two closest friends is a married male. Shoot me. He’s over at least once a week for dinner. Of course I’m so lazy and all, we take out food as we plot the overthrow of the government. Oh no. Forget that I said that. Why then I would have a purpose in life.
I proudly represent all that is wrong with big city single, divorced women. I’m vain, I’m ambitious, the Clinton’s are two of my biggest idols, and my moral values are down the toilet. As I say often in Courting I have no idea what moral values mean; but I know mine must be down the toilet because they don’t fit the radical right, Christian perception of how people live. As I have true Conservative and true Christian friends, I put the Christian in italics as I don’t believe that people who judge harshly are true Christians.
As I believe that how a person chooses to give back and help better society can be private about what they do; I believe sex should always be a private matter.
Yes I write about past relationships. My boyfriend Zachary exercised his Second Amendment right to get close to his gun, January 4, 1989. It’s way in the past and he’s dead so I feel that I’m not betraying him.
While I might write things that people don’t agree with or like, I couldn’t care less. First I write for me; then I write for everybody else. I’m the first person to joke about my horrible taste in men, though I have great taste in male friends including husband for a second. Our divorce prove to me how good divorce could be; it allowed him to marry a wonderful woman I sometimes pushed at him. That’s as much detail as I will ever say about that story.
I will eventually say everything about Zachary.
Don’t come to my blog and judge me without reading it all. And even then, if you’re going to say truly stupid things I am going to block quote them and write a post around it as I find that very relaxing. Racist comments will be deleted.
While The First Amendment is my bible; it doesn’t apply here. I rule Courting or Courting rules me. Whatever. We just hate being judged by people who aren’t fit to lick our Pink & Black Timberland boots, let alone the designer ones.
We, we, we, Courting, Savannah our computer, Toto our imaginary dog and I are united in our belief that people who watch Fox News and make disparging remarks about Hillary Clinton should think before they make causticly funny to them, sick remarks in another person’s blog because we do bite, and we have found to utter amazement we can enjoy answering some of the sickest comments. We also found it thrilling to ban a racist.
This very loose women with incredibly sick values is going into the bedroom; and dream of a a certain goy* boy toy, maybe a movie star recently talked about, maybe a recent visitor, maybe a total fantasy.
*Goy as in goyim or not Jewish. Yes among all my other sins I’m a cultural Jew who doesn’t believe in God. Like much of the religion; have problems with the God part, sorry, and I don’t mean to offend anybody.
You’re doing something right if you irritated someone that much.
Besides that, it’s only an opinion, and it’s obviously a wrong one.
It’s just someone who actually thinks their opinon is important in the scheme of things.
You are a writer now though so you had better get used to critism, I hear it comes in all forms and is often very very ugly; but if you’re a writer you can’t take offense at it.
You Carry On.
😉
Alot of times we tear things down simply because we wish we could be them, or as good as them.
You do what you do. The people who like what they see here will always outnumber the others.
So invite as many men to your apartment as you please, write about it all, and leave no regrets. [salute]
It WAS a personal attack, and a pointless, badly expressed one at that. As Cooper says, you must be doing *something* right :).
You know, it almost sounds like this person was carrying around some kind of festering rant in their head and just happened to be on your site when it spilled out. (Lucky you.)
Not much different from being accosted by a random loonie while sitting at a bus stop.
I am sorry if I came off as judgmental in any way. I do not (nor would I) presume to judge you in any way, especially from the limited exposure I had to you from that post alone. I have read your blog before, not often, but occasionally.
I will revisit it again though. Please do not take what I said as any personal attack on how YOU as a person are. It was intended as nothing more than a reaction to the post, not you as a person. I hardly conceder myself qualified to make any judgments on you, or your life in general. I have no doubt you are a fine person. Please again understand I was only trying to express my opinion and reaction to that post, not in any way on you.
I would however like to make a couple of corrections to some of your assumptions about me. I am not a member of the “radical rightâ€, nor do I consider myself grandiose. I do get a bit too vain and/or prideful occasionally, but usually something specific comes in and keeps me in check. As far as your morals go, I cannot begin to express to you the absolute lack of authority I feel to pass out any attempt at judgment on that. I have done my share of things that I now look on as reprehensible. I do not attempt to stand on any high ground.
Your post elicited my reaction, only because it expressed something very common in today’s society. But I contend this:
(more)
To postulate the value, and even the existence of “morals†would mean that the perception of right and wrong are nothing more than fuzzy lines that can occasionally be crossed. If this is the way you truly feel (“I’ll ask one more time, what the hell are moral values? It’s a redundant phrase that’s not even a fun oxymoron.â€), then does this same sentiment bleed over into all facets of your life? Does thievery, rape, murder, incest, etc all become things that are potentially ok, depending on the situation? I see this as the expression of “moral relativism.†Yes, that term is often used by the “radical rightâ€, but they use it as a weapon, I consider it a very encompassing explanation.
For simplicities sake, let me apply my point to the face of politics. We will use Bush and Clinton, since both appear to be “hot-button†issues. While I personally believe that Mr. Clinton did nothing for “the greater goodâ€, I do believe he accomplished some good things. I myself had a time when I was on the WIC program that was his initiative. However, this does not mean that I can think he is a good man. It has nothing to do with his affair(s). It has everything to do with the repeated lying and deceit to continue the “song and danceâ€. All this has to do with one central fact. You (as I have read) feel honestly that members of the current administration should be held legally accountable for their (real or imagined) wrongs. You feel Bush should be held accountable for “liesâ€, and that Cheney, Rove, and probably others have committed convictable crimes. Yet, you obviously excuse these same actions by both Mr. and Mrs. Clinton.
Moral relativism.
A lie is a lie. Stealing is stealing. If you lie to a little boy that his mother is possibly dead (before you know for sure), it is not something you are doing with the purpose of sin. If you steal food to feed your starving family, it is not done with the purpose of sin. These are, and always will be, forgivable acts.
But if you lie, solely for the self-serving purpose of maintaining an image you have falsely propped up… is that not wrong by anyone’s moral standard? You obviously have a moral standard, as you consistently hold Mr. Bush to it. Why then, because you “like†someone else, will you not hold them to the same standard? This mentality is what I feel (my own personal opinion, open for debate, and/or criticism) has slowly degraded the fabrics of our society. We have become increasingly more acceptant of deviant and “wrong†behaviors, simply for the political, social, and fiscal expediency it affords us. The political right and left, the “rich†and “poorâ€, the black and the white people ALL do it.
We excuse wrong actions, and wrong behaviors of people or causes we support. This has blurred the lines of what “morals†and “values†actually are. It has let them slip from being a hard line in the sand, to nothing more than a high and low tide mark, with our own fallible selves being the chooser.
P.S. the “perception of purpose†is understanding what you are here for. We all have a specific reason for being on this earth. The perception (or lack there of), is understanding WHY. The answer does not have to come down to the specifics, but instead, I think it is more of a general guidance. I feel, for the “here and nowâ€, I am here to raise my children and support my wife. But I do not have the nagging hunger and longing to find my reason anymore. I don’t still search for the “meaning of lifeâ€. I’ve found it, at least the part of it I was supposed to. That is what I meant. It wasn’t supposed to be an ambiguous phrase, sorry.
“g” visited my blog and questioned me on how I found him acid and offensive. I opted to delete his comment and refrain from arguing with him. I have learned the hard way that people who disguise their venom in apologies and supposed innocence are even more malicious than their forthright counterparts. People like him thrive on making people react to them. I won’t entertain him at my blog.
actually lisa, I was just gunning for an answer. Instead, you offered more accusation. Who is dripping venom under the guise of polite?
I was not planning on comming back to your blog, I was hoping to get something out of you besides this essential acceptance of no creditability to your statements.
if you’re not familiar with my work how do you know what standards I consistently hold Bush to?
I am a proud moral relativist. I look for guidance through many sources; I don’t feel the need to explain or clarify for you. If you comment again you will be deleted. If you attempt to comment again you will be blocked.
This is my personal blog; I am entitled to write whatever I want to.
While I think your questions might have some validity you should have asked them in your first comment. I might have enjoyed answering them. But your first comment was so nasty I can’t take you seriously
Thanks Lisa, Dan, Cooper, Ally for the back up.
The funny thing was my first thought when I woke up this morning was “have to delete that post,” too nasty
You are very much dripping venom under the guise of polite; Lisa was sticking up for me, and I won’t have my friends subjected to your very exclusionary morals
Unbelievable… utterly unbelievable. To close yourself to the debate of ideas is to ensure yourself exclusive ignorance.
I wont try to come back, and if you delete them, so be it. But think of a couple things first.
1. You put this on the public forum for a reason, and surely it wasnt so you could only find people who agree with you.
2. If the first sign of disagreement makes you this defensive and insulted, perhaps there are more to my questions and statements than you would like to admit?
Dont worry, I wont come back again, and you dont have to worry about detelting my comments. I have a copy, and will see if I can get some friends in on this one.
“G” whiz. Aren’t we all (still) allowed our own freedoms in this country? Freedom to think and express ourselves in our own way? You certainly have a right to form your own judgments based on your principles, but, to do so after reading one or two of Pia’s posts seems to be a bit premature.
Whether I do or do not support her political tenets or moral values has nothing to do with the simple fact that she is allowing us into her soul. She is a very gifted writer. I enjoy reading her posts because of her very unique style, which, to me, is a form of psychic energy derived from her own instinctual needs and drives. She opines from the heart. If she sways readers one way or the other, hasn’t she done something that many people fail to achieve? After reading her, you should sense the goodness there. And I am reminded of my youth and free spiritedness.
As far as the baby boomer issue, your statement, “the complete lack of drive and disconnectedness that have plagued the offspring of…” belies itself. Isn’t your, I mean, our president a product of “… The Greatest Generation,” having been born on the 6th of July, 1946? To state factly, post-war babies mean just that. Anyone born between 1946 – 1964. Does this mean you are implying that the president is inept? Would this render your argument invalid or does it mean that deep down inside, you secretly agree with her? I didn’t think so.
In this particular case, it seems to me to just reek of a Republican dog barking too loudly in a Democrat’s house. Bad dog. Go home, Karl Rover.
I can think of only one instance where I got nasty in comments [on a blog not mine]. My comments were driven at another commenter. Frankly, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have lowered my self to their level.
In general, I don’t see the point. I see plenty of blog (content) that seems pointless or that differs from my world view. Other than serving notice that someone disagrees with the blogger, what’s the point?
If something annoys me that much, I take it up on my blog. Basically, I don’t pee on someone else’s blog. I don’t expect to change someone else’s opinions or worse yet, alter their behavior.
Ultimately, people like that are like an annoying little brother. If you acknowledge them, they just get louder.
Pia,
G loves picking a fight, he’s been doing it on Daily Dissent for months.
Forever the Devil’s Advocate…
Hmmm – seems like this Blog Owner should seriously consider donating her body to Chemical companies for experiments … rabbits and monkeys are hard to find these days.
“But I would die before I went into another individuals blog and made a nasty personal comment.”
Really Pia?
Pia,
I’ve enjoyed your blog for some months now & I I’m not alone. Please don’t change one thing about your writing. I look forward to reading more soon.
I used to run a successful website many moons ago, and eventually shut it down because of conflicts like this. I must admit (no matter how inappropriate) that this one entertained me greatly 🙂
Isn’t it amazing how much time some people will commit to being pendantic.
Thanks MD, Pat, Jane, WB
Don’t plan on changing a thing about my blog–just hit the blogging wall a few days ago.
Yikes, Pia!!! You’ve got yourself a nut, and a tenacious one at that. Please don’t change a thing about your blog. It’s amazing to find someone so open about themselves. Especially one who can actually write.