First I would like to thank Michelle for making Courting the site of the day yesterday. Went to bed real early Wednesday night, and yesterday morning felt like company had come and I wasn’t prepared. Had a real Pia sex, drugs and rock post; so I wrote the Beatles anecdote. Have an actual night of John Lennon’s death story but it’s spooky; we just had our first real snow, and I’m confused about something. Well many things actually, but…
We’re deep into holiday season; I’m Jewish and grew up in Queens and real Long Island where being Jewish meant you never had to think about being Jewish or being part of a minority group.
If people wish me “Merry Christmas,” I thank them. If I know somebody celebrates Christmas, I wish them a “Merry Christmas.” In New York I wish most people “happy holidays,” because we have so many religious groups.
I was raised to understand that most people in the USA are Christian, and that as Jews we should respect that, sit on Santa’s lap, and see all the Christmas store decorations, and drive through Christian neighborhoods that had reputations for great displays. Sorry if we contributed to your traffic, but sometimes people would come out of their houses and have us walk around so that we didn’t miss anything.
My niece, Dvora’s eleven now, and she was talking about how “unsophisticated” she was when she was seven. Couldn’t believe that an eleven year old was talking about sophistication, but she does know designers, and designer clothes. She knows about terrorists attacking the buildings next to the one she had lived in until she was two, and is “so happy we moved, and that no kids on the ground were killed.” Dvora did freak me a bit with her knowledge of how pedophiles operate. But knowledge is power, and she has the power.
Dvora remembered telling me when she was seven that “not everybody is Jewish, and Pia, you have to respect their traditions.” She laughed when she said that because she realizes now that Little Luce is Hispanic and not Jewish; and that I have introduced her to other people from different groups.
Her parents bought my parents house. Our town was 90% Jewish then with the rest being mostly Italian and Irish Catholic. Now there are many Hindu’s, Muslims, and even some Protestants.
My confusion begins with having read blogs that say “America is a Christian country, and the new people should respect our ways.”
New? My family has been here since the first half of the first decade of the 20th Century; if that makes us new….
I’m confused by that because I think people are mistaking assimilation for acculturation. My family assimilated, we blended in, though yes in Jewish neighborhoods. My sister and I weren’t allowed to learn Yiddish, which I think was a big mistake, because our parents wanted us to be 100% American. We might have eaten burnt chicken every Friday night, and kind of fasted on Yom Kippur but we asked for no accomodations, other than major Jewish holidays off. My mother was a great cook, but burnt chicken was a Friday night tradition.
Many groups that have come later believe in acculturating or keeping their language and traditions going. Many of these groups are Hispanic and thus usually Christian; I personally love that.
While many Hindus and Muslims, and some Sikhs, live in my old school district, I don’t know of any who ask for any sort of accommodation, other than caps on males heads worn indoors and the like.
What bothers me is that this isn’t the Manger in the courthouse scenario, personally that’s fine with me, but yes I would like a Menorah also, if there are Jews in the community.
If people file lawsuits it’s usually out of frustration that their rights aren’t being respected. By living, and being citizens, of this country we pledge to respect not just the flag but the Constitution and its Amendments. First is The First Amendment which does guarantee freedom of religion, and to keep religion out of public places.
Again I live in New York, and we have many groups, and have never really had that problem. It’s understood that people respect each others traditions; otherwise we couldn’t live on top of each other. And there would be a heck of a lot less days of no alternate side parking. I have Christian friends who love Jews just for that. We have no alternate side of the street parking for most major religion’s major holidays.
It’s not minority groups that have taken “Christ” out of Christmas; it’s Christians who celebrate it as a secular holiday. It’s easy to look at the many different groups that make up the patchwork that is the USA, and say “they want to be accommodated; they don’t want Christmas.”
But that’s not the real problem. Evangelist Christian groups are growing, yes. So are the numbers of Christians who don’t believe in G-d or who just don’t like going to church.
While I have problems with the concept of G-d, I will always identify myself as Jewish and celebrate the major holidays because that’s my family’s heritage. In New York, we’re big on hyphenated identities. “Irish-American” “Italian-American,” “Colombian-American,” “Jewish-American.”
It feels as if when you lose the hyphen you lose something important; a sense of belonging not just to the USA but to hundreds or thousands of years of traditions.
“But” you say “that’s the problem. You’re in America now. Respect our ways.” Fine I will always respect American Indian traditions or Black-Americans, who were brought over as slaves, ways. And I will respect your ways.
I watched Woody Allen grapple with symbolizing America in his films until he got it down to a jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise, Wonder White Bread, and a crucifix. Do have to add that when I would go to my friend Patrick’s family’s house in Baltimore that comparison felt very apt. They’re Catholic; and I know that Catholics use crucifixs.
I’m really not sure how most Protestants pray or what symbolizes the umbrella group of Protestants, and each individual religious group. Educate me; just don’t try to convert me.
Put “Christ” back into Christmas, but don’t blame his not being in it on non-Christian groups. It’s your problem, not mine.
If you’re going to comment I will delete any comment that tells me that disrespects any group and its traditions.
Pia, I’ve reached the sad conclusion that some people just really, really want to believe they’re under siege. It’s like they can’t affirm Jesus without cursing someone else. Which means they don’t know him. Sure, there’s some legal dingbattery over creches and crosses and Christmas but why the outrage? There are stupid lawsuits against McDonald’s. If Ronald can weather them, I’m pretty sure the Lamb of God will be ok, too. All the bellowing victims embarrass me and glorify Judas Iscariot who had similar politics.
A big, big part of Jesus’ teaching was that religion in the public square (as the Sadducees were teaching) and in the law (as the Pharisees taught) were distractions or negations of the relationship between God and his creatures. A lot of these jokers should come to Jesus before they start inviting anyone else.
Happy Hannukah, by the way. Sorry for the rant.
That’s my philosophy, too. Merry Xmas to those I know who celebrate. Happy Holidays to everyone else and saying, “Thank you” when someone wishes me a Merry Xmas, though I’m Jewish.
But calling Christmas trees “holiday trees???” C’mon.
I honestly never paid attention to the “Merry Christmas” greeting I give.
I say Merry Christmas to everyone
I get so tired of the “God Wars”. This country was built on the idea that anyone could worship anyway they wanted. Most of our ancestors came here to get away for being told how and what to believe.
I think holiday greetings should be given and taken in the spirit of love, peace, and happiness. As long as you’re spreading joy and cheer it doesn’t matter what you say.
A lot of those megachurches are closing on Christmas day because it’s on a Sunday this year and they expect few people to attend. Not attend church on Christmas??? Maybe it’s my Catholic upbringing (there’s a joke about “C&E Catholics,” that is, you go to church only on Christmas and Easter,) but Christmas is one of the days that you GO to church to celebrate. But no, these people are more interested in playing with their “things” that have come to represent Christmas rather than reflecting upon what Christmas really means.
The wingnuts have ruined Christmas for me this year with their “war on Christmas” bullshit they’re always spewing. I feel no Christmas spirit because there is so much hate travelling across the airwaves, blogosphere, and on random street corners. They don’t have a clue what Christmas is.
Frankly, I think one of the things that makes our country so great is that the majority religion has tried so hard to make minorities feel comfortable. Where else have Jews and others been made to feel as equals and as comfortable with Christian holidays? Certainly not in many European countries where you are considered Jewish first, then a citizen of that country.
New York is not the rest of the country. I think it would be nice to bring back some of the religiosity to Christmas in big cities, so it isn’t such a consumerized holiday. Thank you, Christians, for being so good to the rest of us. You can now celebrate Christmas a little more openly.
However, things are different in smaller cities and towns around the country. Those places have a habit of mixing up religion and public policy. It is places like those where I don’t think it appropriate for the public sector to promote religion symbolism and ideology.
I think each person need to bring whatever they want to their own holiday and leave everyone else alone. If your church cancels services on a Sunday Christmas it doesn’t really say much about the congregations commitment to their religion. Religion certainly doesn’t seem to take out consumerism either as the pope wears designer shoes and those head honchos at that much maligned 700 club dress pretty well. lol
I understand what you mean by ‘acculturation’. My parents emigrated from Ireland – and were old enough that their first language was Gaelic – which they both spoke fluently. Di they ever bother to teach it to me? Even when I asked? No – because they were of a generation where assimilation meant jettisoning everything Irish in favor of being identifiably American. So away went the accent, phrasing, and unfortunately the language as well. Of course, they would speak Gaelic together when they wanted to converse without my understanding; or when old friends visited from New York. Other than that, I was taught my prayers, as well as picking up a compendium of swear words from my Mother.
When my parents decided to move back to Ireland, I was thrown into that school system – and my lack of language proved very difficult; both academically and socially. Interesting to see culture and assimilation from an alternate view. I felt literally like a fish out of water – nothing fit. When we just as abruptly moved back stateside, and I went back to school here, once again I didn’t fit. As for any accommodation – none was truly made in either place.
I agree with you that sheltering tradition enriches life. As the result of my parent’s disassociation with their culture, I have embraced it; it stands as part and parcel of my identity. From your essay, I would say you have done that as well – incorporated your family’s heritage into who and what you are. So Happy Hanukkah, my dear – may the holiday bring you light.
“It’s not minority groups that have taken “Christ†out of Christmas; it’s Christians who celebrate it as a secular holiday.”
And there is the heart, the gem of that post. That, and Doug’s use of the term “dingbattery,” which I shall now appropriate as my own.
The only thing I’m confused about is your comment about “Christians who don’t believe in God…” I don’t get that. It’s not possible, by definition. Do you mean, perhaps, Gentiles who don’t believe in God? Because being Christian is, by definition, a matter of personal belief and faith–not tradition, acts, or words. A churchgoer does not a Christian make. A Christian who doesn’t believe in God would be like a Muslim who doesn’t believe in Allah…I could go on in that vein, but you get what I mean. Just trying to understand.
I really like your post. This past week I commented about the battles to “take Christ our of Christmas.” I agree with you, it’s us Christians who have done the harm by secularizing the holiday. I also wonder if all the talk about Christmas being attacked isn’t really a smoked screen by the “Right” to keep us from focusing on what’s important and to take the focus off some of the things going on in our world right now.
Although Christian, and I have a Christmas tree I’m rather proud of with a train running underneath, I also have a menorah in the house, and have talked a bit about its meaning with my daughter. (She got a neat book from the library about Hanakkuh. As someone from the Jewish tradition, do you think this is good or should we leave your traditions alone?
I like the look of your blog (very pink!)
May you find joy in this season, and in all seasons. blessings.