The Shower

A shower was the only thing that mattered to me. I couldn’t wait to get into my double marble shower with its forlorn Speakman shower massager that actually rusted. It always feels so Cindereallaish, but it’s still a great shower where I can easily spend a half hour. I love my shower that never clogs because it has a huge drain. And the separate bathtub doesn’t need a shower curtain. That alone makes me rejoice.

To people in the suburbs and other places this type of bath has been common for a long time. We suffer for beauty and we suffer to live in New York. I am going to get one of the all in one multi shower things that they sell in Expo. Our Home Depots are a mixture of Home Depot and Expo. Know Expo well as my sister had her kitchen and bathrooms done their. The kitchen was beautiful when it was my mother’s and it’s equally beautiful now. Though no structural change was made it has an entirely different look; from early 60’s state of the art Colonial to Provencal.

How did I get from my shower to my sister’s kitchen? Home Depot of course. Have a real love for that store.

Anyway I was bone tired earlier and couldn’t stop thinking about taking a shower to get the ache out of my muscles. That will teach me never to wear shoes instead of boots in six inches of melting snow in Manhattan.

Get into the shower. The water doesn’t get warm. Now when the shower was built the hot water was put in the cold water spot and of course vice versa. So I go through a moment of thinking that I was confused and that they were in the proper spots. No.

By that time my hair was all wet. One of the great things about being alone in a double shower is that you can let it run without worrying about getting wet. The water would get hot for a minute or two and I just couldn’t help myself, I used it. Forced myself not to put shampoo on.

The water became progressively colder. When I got out I realized I had forgot to put on the heat lamp and was freezing; put it on and warmed up.

My hair rinsed by great New York water and no product feels silky. But I feel so cheated out of my shower.

The heat will go on at three AM, and I will quickly jolt out of sleep, to have a panic attack because the windows are closed, and the pipes which are all over the bedroom, though not exposed, will fill the air suddenly and it will feel as if I’m being smothered. These particular panic attacks began when when I was 25 and moved to East 63rd Street.

When I moved to Riverdale and could control the heat they abated and I forgot about them. When they started here I still didn’t remember and ran to the doctor convinced that I was having a heart attack. When I was 25 I never thought about heart attacks or anything like that. I would have laughed at my parents if they thought they were having heart attacks, and they were in their early 60’s then. Fortunately my parents stayed young until they became really old.

Really need the heat and hot water on so I can take a good shower and stop this endless prattle. It’s time to get into bed under the comforters, and my one rule is, no computer or work of any kind in the bedroom. I can write for fun but only in a notebook that is kept in my eight drawer night table. Seven small drawers and one large one that take up almost no horizontal space. I have a tiny dresser made out of 20 gauge steel and gym lockers; again it takes up almost no space and holds the world.

My bedroom has two ten shelf metal book cases by Design Within Relief, DWR, that are too cool for words. Again they take up no horizontal space. My niece’s eyes popped even bigger when she saw them, and couldn’t decide if she liked the books shelves, the patchwork quilt comforter or the walls and doors, painted different colors best.

When I first saw my bedroom it had a queen sized bed and one night table. That was all there seemed room for. But one of the few things I have truly mastered is visceral space or making space appear where there is none. It used to be more difficult but now people, DWR especially, design for small spaces and for people who like small doses of wood and large doses of everything else.

Before I go on and describe the bed, bed frame, closet and floor, let me stop. I can talk about decorating forever. Bet a lot of you didn’t think that
It’s 11:43 Saturday night and people are calling out to each other from different buildings. That’s common here but not in winter. I like it. I like living in a strictly residential neighborhood that’s two blocks from Broadway. But is it worth spending so much money to get less ammenities than people do most places for one fifth the price?