Me and moi

The brilliant tax attorney on Boston Legal who will never make partner because he’s too weird, and I are very different. I’m more like Alan Shore, the incomparable James Spader, who also seems to suffer from a Shadow Aspergers Syndrome. Did understand the tax attorneys rage when he held a knife to Candice Bergen’s character.

Also understood Alan Shore’s championing him, and then representing him. I’m usually the girl version of Alan Shore; sometimes the tax attorney, and just as often, Candice Bergen. It’s not easy being so complicated, and interesting as therapists like to call me.

Though I am a charm school dropout, I mastered the art of social graces many a moon ago. All my jobs called for an extremely social person who could interview, assess, and make tough decisions in a millisecond.

My life has been easy for somebody with Aspergers. Even before I knew the name, I understood how to overcome most things. Burnt out quickly though. My father who wasn’t quick with compliments said that I was the hardest worker he knew; that for every hour somebody else worked I worked two, so I earned extra time off. My father was a CPA but his logic escaped me at times. He always said that everybody listened to him but the three women in his life. I said that was because we knew him.

Think my parents would understand why writing a memoir is so important to me. They believed me to be both brilliant and beautiful, and had to be consulted before any major decision was made; by the time I was in my 30’s before any decision whatsoever was made

The Aspergers hadn’t manifested until I hit puberty, and who knows what is normal in a pubescent then adolscent girl, with a high IQ, and a sensitive soul?

My father thought that I was shy. Wasn’t able to explain that it was something other than shyness, because I didn’t know how to put it into words.

I’m exhausted. Broke down and took a pain killer before, for the first time all day, and was able to eat something other than Breyer’s low carb, splenda, creamy frozen yougurt. Hate the way I feel the next day after taking pain killers so I resist them; but sometimes….

Spent and exhausted from revealing so much. So need to chill for awhile; with some Breyers vanilla frozen yogurt, and will try not to obssess over how much I have revealed.