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Friday's post on Thursday. Like to be early if I'm not late. Totally revised

May 4, 2006 By pia

Messed up some code. Anna fixed it in a hot sec. She tweaked Courting, and I can’t say enough great things about Anna and her work. I am having one hell of an allergy attack. Haven’t had a stuffed nose in years. Just thought that I would share that.

Don’t usually blog while angry but getting the call that the lab was backed up and it won’t be ready. I’m so ready. Literally planned my life around dental visits the past two years. Since I’m a real NY’er I live for summer when there’s lot of great free entertainment. However Manhattan as a summer paradise, though a steamy one, has been discovered, and I wasn’t the one to give the secret away. Told people that it stunk. It did once during a garbage strike, and parts of it always are. That would dissuade me, but I keep the higher end home candle market in business, and always bring a traveling candle when I go away.

Today is the 36th Anniversary of Kent State. May 4th is a day that never fails to depress me. The four kids killed, and they were kids, could have been the kids next door. Jeffrey Miller literally almost was. His family lived a few towns from mine. We did know people in common. Did a post for BIO on it last year. Might link to it over the weekend. Hadn’t known before how many people blamed Vietnam war protesters for how poorly the Vets were treated.

I had friends who came home from VietNam in horrible shape. When they would go to the VA they would be put in rooms with shell shocked World War One Vets. The drug addiction rate of returning Vets was enormous. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was just being discovered.

I was beyond shocked last year to find out how many people thought anybody who protested was a war criminal, and treated Vets poorly. I don’t know violent people; I didn’t know any YIPPIES after it became violent. Think violence is never an answer, but protest is sometimes not just a right but a responsibility.

I am in a truly bad mood. My last dental appointments were just changed from May 23 to June 20. Really really wanted this over with. If I’m whining, it’s been two years, of constant dental visits. The psychological implications are enormous to me I hadn’t expected it to be over until late June. When I was told May 23, I was ecstatic. Didn’t realize how much I had been counting on it, until I just found out that it was changed.

Then there’s the article I copied about a columnist who quit her job in Baltimore to go back to Memphis. Her first reason, prices would make me laugh if it didn’t make me cry. I know Baltimore well. It is so cheap compared to New York, that I can’t imagine what Memphis is like. In this world of political correctness I have to state that I’m not dissing either city. Like Baltimore very much, and have never been to Nashville, but it is an important city for music lovers, and it sounds fun.

$200,000 doesn’t buy a room in New York. I do mean that literally; the cheapest studio’s are usually over 300K though I think I saw one in the paper yesterday that sold for 250K, it was a rectangle with minor square footage.

According the article a very nice home comprable to the columnist’s house in Nashville, is 400K in Baltimore. That might buy a semi-luxury studio, with bad light, and some other really horrible features here. Most people I know spend their lives like the people on Seinfeld, and what did they do?

Nothing. I can do nothing very well for less money. My friend Rafe’s coming over. It’s very beautiful out. I will want to go out, and he will want to order in. DSCN0487.JPG

I am in the process of proofing my posts and putting them into categories. Yes, I have a category “Dead Gay friends.” They were Gay friends who died. That is a generational statement. I don’t remember how many memorial services I attended at Redding’s Funeral Home on West 14th State. Too many.

Do admit that I have no idea how to make good categories. It’s part of my litany of problems.

Before I found Google’s spell check my posts were a mess. I’m not going to apologize. I can’t spell. It has nothing to do with not trying, not studying enough when I was young–I remember that my parents would quiz me with flashcards for over an hour every Thursday night. It didn’t help.

Fortunately, they didn’t have to quiz me on vocabulary because I always got “100” without studying. Yet some of my teachers thought that I was lazy and wasn’t respectful or other things because I couldn’t spell, had a horrible handwriting and more.

Hate it when teachers call students “lazy” for not being able to spell. To this day some people insist that I’m just not careful enough. That hurts.

CAPD is still not checked for enough. I have perfect hearing but I can’t hear words correctly therefore I misspell them. It’s that damn simple. Sometimes I misunderstand conversations. That can be comical. However I understand 99% of all conversations, and nobody has ever accused me of not being articulate.

I am lucky. It never affected my reading comprehension. If it had I would have gotten more sympathy because my problems would have been more easily comprehended.

Sometimes a person needs sympathy though empathy would be better. That said, I’m thinking of closing comments to this because I don’t want overly sympathetic ones. Nor do I want to hear from teachers and other people who work with kids about how damn easy it is to spell, if your parents help you with index cards.

I want to say that these problems and more made me a better person. That would be a lie. Some people still judge me for my faults not my accomplishments. While I can usually laugh them, and did develop a sense of humor as a coping mechanism, sometimes, sometimes…

In my adult life I have achieved much and won’t negate my achievements. However I have never felt secure in my achievements. Sometimes I look at my diplomas and professional license and think that they could be taken away tomorrow or were given to me under false pretenses. That’s one of the many reasons that I have a category “the fraud within me.”

I am going to make this into my time. Why? I am talented. I have great stories, most not told in these pages, and I feel like telling them. Just not in a blog. Frankly I’m tired of giving away things most people would expect to be paid for.

The newspaper article I’m referring to follows

By Gadi Dechter

The Sun newsroom was stunned Monday, April 24, when new metro columnist Wendi C. Thomas abruptly resigned, just a week after starting at the paper, and a day before her debut column was set to publish. But Thomas’ misgivings about moving up from Memphis’ Commercial Appeal (where she will return) had taken root before her arrival in Baltimore.

“On the 900-mile drive from Memphis to Baltimore, every 50 miles I asked my boyfriend if I was making a huge mistake,” she says by phone from Memphis. “It’s not a reflection on The Sun. I didn’t work there long enough to develop any strong feelings about them. It was more the city, just getting a sense that it wasn’t going to be a good fit.”

A Memphis native, Thomas’ doubts began soon after her initial visit to Baltimore, to interview for the columnist position vacated in January by Michael Olesker. After returning home, she says, “I called [The Sun] and said, ‘I don’t think this would be a good fit for me. Take my name out of the running.’”

Thomas, 34, was encouraged by Sun editor Tim Franklin and recruiter Sam Davis to maintain her candidacy, and when she was offered the job she felt the opportunity to move up to a major regional paper was too good to pass up. “These columnist jobs don’t come up often. The guy I’m replacing has been there for 27 years. Do I wait maybe another 27 years? I just couldn’t turn it down,” she told the alt-weekly Memphis Flyer in March. At the time, she was also still smarting from the Commercial Appeal’s recent decision to move her column from a section front to an inside page.

“My regret,” she says now, “is that I didn’t follow my first instinct [about Baltimore]. I’ve wasted a lot of people’s time, the Sun’s, and, frankly, my own.”

Her main gripe with Charm City: expensive housing. “Frankly, I was not going to be able to maintain anywhere near close to the standard of living that I had in Memphis,” she says. “Nowhere near.” Initially, Thomas expected to be able to buy a home for about $200,000, but after driving around the city and county with two real estate agents, she quickly realized she would have to spend about twice that for something comparable to her “very nice” Memphis house.

“The Sun would have been paying me well,” she says, “but not that well.”

Tim Franklin won’t disclose Thomas’ salary but says it was “absolutely” enough for Baltimore. “I think that one could live comfortably on what her compensation would have been,” Franklin says. “And, indeed, they do.”

In addition to house-hunting sticker shock, Thomas says she was battling homesickness—she would be leaving her mother and boyfriend behind—so a “serendipitous” encounter with an E.W. Scripps Co. executive at a Washington journalism event seemed almost fateful. Scripps owns the Commercial Appeal, and the executive informed Thomas that her old job was still available to her.

The terms of her return to the Memphis paper include a pay raise and the return of her column to the metro section front.

Last Sunday, Thomas called Sun recruiter Sam Davis and told him she was seriously thinking about resigning. Davis called Franklin, who says he was “surprised and disappointed” by Thomas’ about-face. The following morning, Thomas met with Franklin to hand in her resignation. “She had quite obviously made up her mind by the time of the meeting,” Franklin says.

Thomas “seemed happy” during her short time in Baltimore, says Franklin. “I know other members of the staff had made a point to greet her and tried to make her feel at home. . . . I don’t think any of us had any inkling of this.”

“It really does look like some sort of personal wet-feet [issue],” says Sun reporter Michael Hill, whose newsroom desk was near Thomas’. “I got to know her a bit, and we had nice talks about Baltimore . . . and she seemed, you know, quite interested and engaged.” When he arrived at his desk Monday afternoon, Hill noticed on his desk a pair of Baltimore-history books he had lent Thomas. “It was almost poignant.”

In addition to being a costly embarrassment for The Sun, Thomas’ departure is a blow to the paper’s diversity committee, which had lobbied for her hiring, according to newsroom sources. She is the Commercial Appeal’s first black female columnist, and would have been the Sun’s only black woman columnist, as well.

Thomas says she hopes her quitting doesn’t hurt the cause of minority recruitment at The Sun, but sounds a somewhat cynical note: “I think if the paper is fully committed to diversifying its newsroom . . . then I don’t think the departure of one person would affect that,” she says. “If they’re less committed, then sure, they could use this as a way to say, ‘Well, we tried, we got a black person, and it didn’t work out.’”

Franklin says boosting newsroom diversity is an ongoing priority, but that it was always a secondary consideration to journalistic quality—and will remain one. “We hired Wendi because we thought she was the best candidate. She also happened to be an African-American woman.” He points out that the Sun’s newsroom employs slightly more minority staffers than the national average of 14 percent.

Since news of Thomas’ resignation was reported, Franklin says he has received a dozen unsolicited messages from newspaper columnists around the country expressing interest in the position.

Veteran Sun columnist Dan Rodricks took the occasion of Thomas’ quitting to suggest to Franklin and managing editor Robert Blau that the paper ought to more seriously consider hiring a local journalist with deep knowledge of the city. “No one asked my opinion,” says Rodricks. “But I thought, why not just look a little closer to home, someone who knows the local scene? They said, ‘OK, make some suggestions.’ And I plan to.” He declined to say whom he had in mind.

Thomas’ twice-weekly column was set to debut Tuesday, April 25. In her first installment, a draft of which was obtained by City Paper, the writer confessed to mixed feelings about trading Memphis for Baltimore:

“Nearly a month ago, I left Memphis, the city in which I grew up, the city where my parents and boyfriend still live, to take this job. I left behind a city and a state that I know all too well, and a great gig as a columnist there, to opine about a city and a region I barely know at all. I left behind the easy eating of pulled pork barbecue to work for my dinner, hammering out the white goodness in steamed crabs. And sometimes, I wonder if I left my good sense somewhere between the River City and Charm City.”

The piece ends with the words, “Let the conversation begin.”

In a profile of Thomas in this month’s Baltimore magazine, Michael Anft (a former City Paper staff writer) notes that in Memphis Thomas was given to lacing her columns with Bible passages.

When asked what scriptural nugget would make an appropriate epigram for this unhappy episode, Thomas turns to another popular fount of wisdom. “OK, it’s not quite the Bible,” she writes in a follow-up e-mail, “but Dr. Seuss was another wise man whose words bear repeating. One of my favorite sayings of his, one I kept near my desk in Memphis, and one I had posted briefly on my desk in Baltimore is this: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

“This saying encourages me to do (or write) what I think best, regardless of what the reaction might be. Those who matter to me—my family, friends, colleagues throughout the industry—have been incredibly supportive of my decision to be who I am wherever I choose, and I choose Memphis.”

And how long will she stay in Memphis? “I don’t know,” Thomas says. “I said I’d stay in Baltimore for the foreseeable future, and that ended up being one week. I will make no more predictions about my stay at newspapers.”

Filed Under: mental health, New York Stories Tagged With: New York Stories

« More about recent revelations–on being an adult in the millennium
California Noir Dreaming, or maybe it's Pulp Dreaming–from the Courting Archives »

Comments

  1. Teri says

    May 4, 2006 at 10:41 pm

    Dear Pia…just the thought of the dentist has me grinding my teeth and running for cover!

  2. Susan says

    May 4, 2006 at 11:06 pm

    Good luck with the dentist. I can truly sympathize, since I just began an odessy with my own dentist. I didn’t even think it was possible for someone my age to still get cavities and don’t get me started on my wisdom teeth!

  3. Cowgirl says

    May 4, 2006 at 11:21 pm

    I am always interested.

    And that Dr. Seuss quote I keep on my website in hopes that I believe it. But somedays I do not.

    Coop and Wombat are wise beyond their years. Age is relative.

    My twin bro has delayed audio processing. Did I ever tell you that?

  4. Brian says

    May 4, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    Pia,
    Everyone has the right to vent without losing friends. I too posted Friday’s post early, did want to face thinking about it overnight. Good luck to you, you are not a fraud.
    Brian

  5. kyahgirl says

    May 5, 2006 at 1:33 am

    glad you didn’t close comments. go ahead and spew, we’re listening.

    about the dentist, I spent half my teen years there and lots of my adult life. I can relate to just wanting to get it over with.

    disengage and unwind over the weekend. Hope you feel better soon.

  6. kyahgirl says

    May 5, 2006 at 1:34 am

    glad you didn’t close comments. go ahead and spew, we’re listening.

    about the dentist, I spent half my teen years there and lots of my adult life. I can relate to just wanting to get it over with.

    Disengage and unwind over the weekend (yes, I know, I’m bossy) Hope you feel better soon.

  7. kyahgirl says

    May 5, 2006 at 1:38 am

    sorry about the double comments-twitchy finger!

  8. Miz BoheMia says

    May 5, 2006 at 2:35 am

    Glad you didn’t close the comments Pia… hope the personal problems give you a break and leave you be… you need peace of mind, rest, and everything good…

    Those who want to analyze you and who do not understand are the ones who need analyzing…

    Here’s to a good weekend and to a goodbye to personal problems…

    Thinking of you!

  9. fabhell says

    May 5, 2006 at 6:38 am

    I always scored high in reading and comprehension, but my spelling still sucks to this day, doll. I cannot do mathmatic equations. Don’t dismay. 20% of America’s adult population are functionally illiterate. And THAT is something to really be mad about.

  10. shayna says

    May 5, 2006 at 6:55 am

    I know you’ll be glad when the dentist thing is over… 🙁

    BTW… I can’t spell either…

  11. cooper says

    May 5, 2006 at 9:06 am

    I’m very lucky as my list, if I had one, would read merely “ gay friends”.

    Good luck with the mouth. Two months is a comparatively short timewhich I am sure you know but I can understand your I impatience.

  12. Branden says

    May 5, 2006 at 10:11 am

    I loved your site, I hope you will take a moment to submit to our Blog directory. Nubbit.com

  13. Gun Toting Liberal says

    May 5, 2006 at 11:19 am

    So much you blogged about here today, and I can relate to just about every word, but the thing that stood out to me the most was the dental thing. Just found out I was going to need 2 root canals… YAY. Before I was sent to the Desert, I had regular days off at the job – Mon and Tue, but since returning and leaving military service, I have no idea which days off I’ll have the following week until Thur of the week before. Everybody else has their same days off, but not me because I have to “work my way back in”, even though I was every bit as vested as everyone else at the job before Uncle sent me to war.

    So I begged to have one day off at least, that I could count on every week so I could schedule an appointment with the dentist since he is always booked in advance. They couldn’t promise anything, but told me they would TRY for Fridays of every week, but the job comes first.

    Explained this to my dentist and I have a solid booking for a Fri three months from now; the best they could do under the circumstances, and the only dentist in town who honors my insurance. They’ll call me if there’s a “no show”, but that will have to line up with the 40-50 hour per week schedule I work. Needless to say, being in sales, I cannot go and have two root canals done, then return to work that same day. Maybe some can do it, but not me. I don’t think anybody’s going to buy a big ticket item from a salesman who looks like he’s got the mumps and is drooling down his chin, but I might be wrong.

    My employer held my position for me while I was away, but understandably, the schedule I OWNED is now somebody else’s. It’s been months and I’m still being treated as the “new guy” because of the fact my employer had a huge management change while I was away, and most of my former coworkers were gone before I got back home. So after being out of sight and out of mind for well over a year… I’m STILL trying to “earn” my way back to a desireable, and set schedule again.

    Sorry to write a “book” here, but I could relate in a way to the dental thing. I just want my frigging teeth fixed, but it looks like I’m either going to have to burn one of my precious vacation days, or wait for weeks or months to get it done. I hope your luck is much better than mine has been thus far…

    Blog ON, my friend…

  14. Gun Toting Liberal says

    May 5, 2006 at 11:22 am

    PS:

    I would also like to give three cheers for Anna. She’s a lifesaver, and she deserves 10 times what I’ve been able to pay her for what she has done for me. When/if I ever make it big and hit the jackpot again, I will not forget her 😉

  15. Jonathan says

    May 5, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    The more I read your blog, the more I find myself wanting to visit NY – but then I’m reminded of the advertising campaign run by Dudley Moore in “Crazy People” – “come to New York – there were only 300 murders last month”

  16. Ro says

    May 5, 2006 at 10:05 pm

    Coming from a lower Westchester native I can vouch for the $200,000 thing! My first apartment was a one bedroom hole in the wall, walk thru kitchen, dining area sort of apartment… $998.00/month. I can’t believe how cheap it is to live down south! But I’m a real NY’er too and will probably never leave. Gotta love Manhattan in the summer! 🙂

  17. sage says

    May 5, 2006 at 10:09 pm

    I’ll send some empathy your way concerning spelling. I can’t spell either. I struggled through it in school and when I got my first computer 20 years ago–with spell check on it–I thought it was manna from heaven.

    And i can even spare a bit of empathy for the dentist visits, as I’ve had my share of time in those chairs. Take care of yourself Pia!

  18. Dawn says

    May 5, 2006 at 11:18 pm

    I would be first to sign up for a spell check implant study and like fabhell — math equations are not my friend.

    After I was off on my own, I found out that the math thing was due to my brain working diff — I can get the right answer, just don’t ask me to show you how!

  19. Callen Damornen says

    May 6, 2006 at 3:30 am

    Just let it all out. Things could be bleaker inside if you don’t.

  20. S&B Travel Company says

    September 1, 2006 at 9:07 am

    Offers you the best tour in Vietnam with professional and helpful tour guide, visit romantic beach, explore the Hidden Vietnam, Cultural tour, Heritage tour…Contains brief details about country, heritage, top destinations, accommodation, cruise, transfers,… made your tour on your way.

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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