• Home
  • Archive
  • About
  • Awards & Media
  • Contact
    • Facebook
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Courting Destiny

  • Courting Classics
  • Fiction
  • Mainstream Media
  • New York Stories
  • My Parents
  • Mental Health
  • N. Myrtle Beach

Sign Up For My Weekly Newsletter!

Hurts to live in New York

May 22, 2006 By pia

I put in a page, from The New York Times, about how New York has the third amount of road rage of any city after Miami and Phoenix. As I know Miami well I would have been surprised if it hadn’t topped the list. However, I exempt all members of my family and some former best friends from that list. Maybe I should stick to the first category.

Clyde Haberman, the author, suggests that it’s time that pedestrians get angry. I have been angry since I moved back to Manhattan over eight years ago and realized that the Island that I had so loved to walk in wasn’t truly walkable anymore.

Every person who lives in and/or works in Manhattan has seen cars go through red lights on purpose. Sometimes the driver and/or passengers gives the finger to whoever is trying to cross the street. People make illegal “U”s on West End Avenue, a strictly residential street all the time. How can we show our anger at people who could easily kill us?

The best thing about the Giuliani years was the police car permanently assigned to the corner. But times are tough and that’s a waste of a police person and car.

“Red on red.” Not allowed in New York City, but try telling that to a driver from Jersey. They use the time honored: “I didn’t know, I’m from Jersey” excuse. I first noticed the Jersey driver syndrome when I lived on East 63rd Street and would walk down Park Avenue on Sunday mornings. It would be deserted except for cars from Jersey which sped along obeying no known laws. People would laugh at me, but Haberman mentioned Jersey drivers three times.

Now he will get the credit for this astonishing discovery and I will still be laughed at. That’s okay. I’m a blogger. Found a great quote by Arianna Huffington in The Times “chatter” business section, print version not the online edition unfortunately.

I’m an obsessive, and the Internet rewards obsession

And it rewards lots and lots of money being put into a blog that strung quotes together by George Clooney and said that he wrote the article. Where I come from, New York, actually that might be rewarded by many people. I call it unethical, and have just spent the past ten minutes pacing around my two and a half rooms debating whether or not to keep that sentence in.

Who am I to call Huffington unethical? Maybe behavior like hers should be rewarded. I’m the one person in history to pass a drug test, cleanly, and to fail the lie detector test three weeks before they became illegal for pre-employment hiring because I admitted to something that I had never done.

It sounded like something I might have done so I said that I took a hit of a joint at the workplace when in actuality I had smoked in Fort Greene Park during lunch. That had been about eight years before this test, I never did anything like that again. The two friends that I had smoked with went onto become well-known in their industries and forgot about it until I failed the test. When they and everybody I knew including my parents couldn’t stop laughing.

I have never believed that I truly failed the lie detector test but something bigger. I failed the I-can-forget-when-necessary-test. Or in my case,I passed the I-can-make-something-up-to-make-me-me-me-seem-guilty-test. While I might not believe in heaven or hell, and don’t think that ethical behavior is always or usually rewarded, it’s just easier and about the only thing I can truly pride myself on being.

So sad I know. There’s nothing like calling your mother and hoping that she will comfort you while you’re also waiting for her to yell at you because of the dreaded: “You did what? You smoked pot?….” And instead she began to choke with laughter: “M–a-x, pick-pick up the phone, quickly. You’ll–you’ll never believe what Pia did.”

Then both my parents comforted me.

That day I came to terms with one sad and inimitable fact about me. There is a good side to every defense but shame. Guilt, and the want to do the right thing, keeps me ethical. I hope that I want to do the right thing and am not just the most guilt-ridden person in America, well, I know one other blogger….Truly great thing about obsessive blogging; you get to know many other bloggers well and in ways that you might never get to know people in real-life.

Yes, Arianna, the Internet does reward obsessives. Just maybe in ways that you’re not used to. The intrinsic satisfaction received from real and honest communication. That said I’m a writer and would love to make a lot of money. I am using my blog as a vehicle toward that goal but I do believe and have written extensively on how blogging is a meritocracy that is in its infancy, evolving, and political blogging especially should be about searching for truth, and I’m not sure that it’s right to profit off blogs yet.

My own argument is weakening each second. I spend more time on blogging than most people do at their jobs. I’m a founder of BIO, and have proven that a quirky pink, personal blog with a pin-up written solely by an ACLU member will be read and talked about. I’m torn between considering this an accomplishment, a joke, or an accident of timing. It’s probably a bit of all. Thing most things are.

And I live in New York so I need as much money as I can make. I made a page with an article from The Times, of course, about the cost of living in New York. Remember that this article is talking about the entire city. Since 2003 which is the last year this article talks about prices have risen and risen and risen.

Most New Yorkers live in smaller apartments and have less disposable income than people in the rest of the country. And if you live in a small apartment, and walk the streets of Manhattan, man, do you need to get out of here for the sake of your sanity. My downstairs neighbors apartment is twice as large as mine. When the building went coop, they remained renters and bought a large country house.

Really the only way to remain sane in Manhattan, and not be run over by cars that are running red lights for fun, is to own a second home, but contrary to myth most Manhattanites aren’t in a position to do that. Any decent Memorial Day to Labor Day rental costs about the same as a down payment on a nice home, or the cost of my dental implants.

That last will be happening in two to four weeks. This has been an amazing experience because I did cry into my blog about it. Between the people in my real-life and my blogging communities an experience that should have been shameful to me was enriching, though not in the monetary sense.

Maybe I don’t think in terms of money as much as I should because I have always had. When I was 20 and my dad almost lost everything including the house, I dropped out of school. Something that I really wanted to do anything, and actually asked for permission as I knew that my dad wouldn’t let me take a loan out and find someway to pay for it.

I will never forget how relieved my parents looked when I asked. I was just 20, as somebody I know won’t be saying much longer, but I already knew that if somebody could make, lose, make and lose several small fortunes he could do it again. It was never about money to me. My mom said that I was the only person he could talk to then. His 20 year old renegade hippie daughter.

Because I knew my dad I could always see the different sides to an argument. When we talked about the stock market and business we also talked about politics, social issues, the war in Viet Nam. He forced me to understand that many sides of an argument have credence.

We had a complex-compound relationship and fought constantly. Yet I feel my father in the streets of New York. It’s a stumbling block in my quest to leave New York. It feels almost as if I was betraying him. I know he would want me to be truly happy, and…..

My father’s best friend’s law offices were on the 86th floor of The Empire State Building. My dad used it as his office and for awhile had an office of his own there. It’s the building that I most associate with my father, and I have always loved it.

Happy 75th birthday to the Eighth Wonder of the World. May you always be there.

I was going to go to Montauk tomorrow which is technically in the town of East Hampton, but a world away. Think it’s too cold for me. It’s always something weather-related to me.

Do think my dad would understand that I’m leaving not because I hate New York but because it’s more expensive, stressful, I saw an underbelly after 9/11 most people didn’t, and maybe most of all, the magical energy, that enchanted my dad for a lifetime, has lessened so much

Filed Under: my parents, New York Stories Tagged With: my parents, New York Stories

« Triple Sneezer
Chutzpah with an adoption addendum »

Comments

  1. cooper says

    May 22, 2006 at 4:22 am

    I like Arianna- she is however a commentator – a pundit- you are a writer….one of the few. I have never considered her a writer of any kind.

  2. dotbar says

    May 22, 2006 at 5:34 am

    Speaking of bad drivers, does anyone in Vancouver understand the concept of crosswalk? One driver blasted me for trying to cross the road on one instead of waiting until all the traffic had passed! Okay, I can be patient…actually not. But this is getting crazy. Someone needs to educate drivers that just because they have a ton of murderous steel wrapped around them, they don’t have the legal rightaway through a pedestrian crosswalk with ME in it!!!

  3. Peter says

    May 22, 2006 at 9:25 am

    Hi Pia,
    Arianna Huffington is a jerk.She was a jerk before she ran for governor,made a fool of herself when she ran for Governor and is keeping up her grand tradition of stupidity now.She reminds me of the Gabor sisters who sounded very much like her in accent but,in fact,were much more intelligent.Obviously,this woman hits a nerve.I wouldn’t worry about what she says or does.I suppose we could envy her for her money but,I don’t and she didn’t earn it anyway.
    I went through many of the same feelings and thoughts when I lived in NY.I think what bothers you has been around for a long time.We were younger then so price was just as meaningful cause a $2500 a month 2 bedroom was just as difficult as a $4000 is today,at least for me.I lived on east 63rd for a year and a half.I remember Maxwell’s Plumb and all the great chicken places,diners,bars, and restaurants.I had lived by Gramercy Park before that for eight yrs.That time was the closest to being in a community I ever experienced in the big apple.I liked it there.We had the Jefferson Market,Balducci’s,Pete’s Tavern and lots of great little eateries and shops.I even had some local friends which I was never able to do again.I really liked it there.It was just a hop,skip,and a jump to the lower east side,the village,and all the neat things N.Y. has to offer.I never made it to live on the upper west side which I dearly wanted to do but,I did spend a lot of time there at the park,along Amsterdam Ave etc.Your blog brings back a lot of memories.
    I have almost no family there now wheras my entire life revolved around the island and the city at one time.It’s really strange.I used to go up several times a year,then a couple,then one and now,almost never.I have to go up for business now and then but,except for a N.Y meal,Broadway,Lincoln Center,and an occassional museum I really don’t miss it.I can get a lot of the food on the net these days but not the ambiance.I remember eating in a little spot in the village and there was Bella Abzug,James Coco,and Ed Koch in the same joint.I mean there were only about eight tables so that was cool.The food was pretty cheap and great.
    Well,I’m done for now.Feel better and don’t feel guilty ever for who you are and what you think and feel.
    Peter

  4. Shayna says

    May 22, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    “You did what? You smoked pot?….” And instead she began to choke with laughter: “M–a-x, pick-pick up the phone, quickly. You’ll–you’ll never believe what Pia did.” LMAO… my mom would have come through the phone. 😉

    I think wherever you go pia, your dad will always be proud. It seems that he was always proud of you and your family… you all were his heart and a wise woman (my grandmother) always said.. “Shayna, Home is where the heart is”… sooooo… “Pia, Home is where the heart is”. You father might have loved NY… but he loved you more and I have a gut feeling… he just wants you to be happy.

  5. Jason says

    May 22, 2006 at 8:15 pm

    I agree with Shayna…go where your heart is.

    Huffington…yeah, not a fan myself. You are dead on in it being too early to make money off social commentary blogs. I have some serious ethical issues with it myself – it’s sorta like charging for unsolicited advice to me.

    Again, great post.

  6. jacob says

    May 22, 2006 at 9:19 pm

    Your dad would proud of your decision.

  7. Doug says

    May 22, 2006 at 9:53 pm

    I love the phrase “complex-compound relationship.” And the anecdote about failing the lie detector test by confessing to something you hadn’t done. That’s so you. Beyond expediency there is virtue and beyond virtue, ethics and half past ethics you will find Pia.

  8. ginah says

    May 22, 2006 at 10:07 pm

    I saw that article as well – people are just crazy here behind the wheel! Right turn, left turn, red light – details, details. I was laughing comforting my mother -saying well, it was only 3rd! It’s hard for me to take Huffington too seriously – maybe that’s it – the Gabor thing! Anyway, love your posts because they often brings up pleasant Manhattan memories (even when you’re talking about being run down). I guess I’ve maintained the love affair because I’m in Queens and not living it directly day to day.

  9. Cowgirl says

    May 23, 2006 at 12:10 am

    This post has so many reasons in it why I love your writing that I can’t comment on just one.

    Therefore, I will simply say thank you for sharing your talent as a writer and writing from your heart. 🙂

  10. dan says

    May 23, 2006 at 4:36 am

    Jersey drivers have jughandles for left turns. Don’t blame them for their state being screwy.

    🙂

  11. nicole says

    May 26, 2006 at 5:44 am

    My first comment on Courting Destiny — wow!

    Now that I’ve moved back to DC, people always ask me to compare drivers in this area to drivers back in NYC. And you know what I say? I’d much rather be a pedestrian THERE than here.

    Mainly because the cretinous, lane-hogging, road-filling idiots that I contend with on a day-to-day basis have no idea how to interact with pedestrians — or other drivers for that matter. They drive slow in the fastlane, they practically PARK in the slow lane and if they even catch sight of a pedestrian, they slam on brakes hard enough to cause a multi-car pile up.

    In NYC, it seems that at least the walkers are more used to the road insanity. They have a MUCH better idea of how to duck and dodge oncoming death than the peds here do.

Trackbacks

  1. Planck's Constant says:
    May 23, 2006 at 4:26 am

    Ray Nagin and the Bush FEMA Snow Job

    A further investigation revealed that many of the residents, instead of buying snow shoes or blankets, instead spent the money on casinos, booze, and hookers.

Search for your favorite post!

Follow Me!

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sign up Now!

Sign up now and get my latest posts delivered right to your inbox!

About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

Categories

Archives

All material contained herewith is owned by Pia Savage, LLC

Copyright © 2021 Courting Destiny · Designed by Technology-Therapist