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Southern Relations

May 16, 2006 By pia

There’s a first time for everything and I have rented Courting. If you want to skip the story preceding the mandatory introducing of the blog renter, Bone, the click to the blog is on the right sidebar. Read it!

I always wonder why people want to read the ramblings of a female, Jewish, Upper West Sider, originally from Long Island, who has compared herself to all four main characters on Seinfeld, plus Newman, on several occasions.

My best college friend Shelby had a roommate, Maggie, in the mid 1970’s who was the wildest girl ever to come out of a certain city in Alabama. I have many relatives there and as Maggie wasn’t just the wildest girl but the richest girl, they knew her well. She had a mad crush on my cousin Danny that I found weird as she was three years older than us, so I totally didn’t get her having a crush on a Ninth Grader when she was a Freshman, but Danny was handsome, smart, star football player, incredibly nice, and Maggie was so not his type.

Maggie’s room was decorated in various skins that her she said her daddy shot on his safari’s in Africa. Though Maggie’s family was mega rich she was a stew and would get him the family rate, the tax $25. When Maggie was on a flight I would stay in her room, and Shelby and I would try to understand the mind of somebody who could live with six different types of skins. It was unnerving.

Shelby and I fought, loudly and often, but were loyal to one another. Though one Halloween we were supposed to wear maid’s uniforms that were way too short, with Fredericks of Hollywood cut out-underpants. I didn’t find it funny, cute or anything like that, and probably came in a vintage velvet gown from the 30’s.

And it was almost the height of the feminist era, just before the truly sickening dress for success suits with white sneakers and socks over pantyhose years. Sorry, only black Reebok’s or Nike’s would do with black socks and black pantie hose. I took points off for bow ties.

I had many vintage gowns and rayon day dresses from Bogie’s in The East Village. When Shelby would come with me, I wouldn’t have to tongue kiss Bogie and would get two dresses for ten dollars, instead of one for five. I would go with her to the lude doctor at the edge of Brooklyn because if I let him touch my breast, bra on, he would give Shelby a huge prescription. I was pot all the way, but she was my best friend.

Maggie did end up marrying her first cousin and they moved to the Florida Panhandle. Don’t know the ending as I haven’t spoke to Maggie in over 20 years, Shelby since 1990, nor have I spoken to any of my Alabama relatives in recent years.

I’m endlessly fascinated by people from the deep South. My favorite Southern writers are Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams, Eudora Welty, Willie Morris yes, My Dog Skip, is close to my heart, and Margaret Maron the mystery writer.

Love becoming friends with people from the South because invariably, sooner rather than later, I will learn about a cousin who married another cousin. That’s not the only reason, I’m not that superficial. Maybe…

This was a prelude to introducing my first ever blog renter, Bone who I once described as “the sensitive, straight male, who knows everything there is to know about Seinfeld and football, and eats at the Cracker Barrel, and is forever trying to figure out what girls like, and what girls might like about him.”

That was in the beginning of January, and I could add a lot to that description. I won’t except to say that Bone’s a truly good writer. So read his blog. And I now know from other peoples blogs what the Cracker Barrel is.

Would also like to say that I miss his synopses of General Hospital, a show I hate to watch but love to read about. When Bone does them they’re a hundred times better than the ones on Soap Opera Digest

If you would like to rent my blog please send an email and $5,000 American dollars; in my dreams….It’s raining, again.

Waiting for Rove to be indicted is like waiting for a sunny 85 degree day, on the beach, when somebody will pay $5,000 American dollars to rent my blog.

My mind, on the eighth or so day of full or partial rain is a horrible thing to behold. I have a long dental appointment tomorrow that I know will be painful, but soon I will be counting down the days toward dental freedom. It feels so weird:
“What have you been doing for the past two years?”
“Going to the dentist.”
“No really what have you been doing for the past two years?”
“Going to the….”
And on it goes. Finally I add:
“Oh yeah, I began a blog….”
Laughter
“You and 39* million other people.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Filed Under: New York Stories Tagged With: New York Stories

« The girlfriend break-up fight and other ramblings.
On Personal Responsibility, and anything else that I feel like talking about »

Comments

  1. Sar says

    May 16, 2006 at 10:07 am

    Well, as one of your blogger buddies from the South (okay, technically I’m a transplant from the northeast and just barely in the South, but work with me here), I have a little pick me up for your endless rain and dental blues….

    Congrats on your outstanding finish in the caption contest and welcome to the winner’s circle, Pia! 🙂

  2. sage says

    May 16, 2006 at 6:04 pm

    I still don’t get this renting blog business, but I’m one of your fans from the south who is currently in exile in the upper midwest while dreaming of mountains and deserts of the far west…

    Willie Morris is a favorite of mine. I think his “North Toward Home” speaks to a lot of southerns in exile. Last January, on the train through Yazoo, Mississippi, I found myself wishing I could get off and explore his hometown.

  3. Brian says

    May 16, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    Being a transplant to Florida, although many don’t consider FL. as the South, I love the slower pace, and the weather, and the good humour. Congrats on being #1, just goes to show you the liberal bias in the media.
    I guess I was supposed to tell you earlier that I linked your blog in my sidebar.
    Have a good day in NYC.

  4. mrsmogul says

    May 16, 2006 at 7:03 pm

    hell I’ll be a southerner soon…I have a draft about blogging and people…so coincidence!

  5. cooper says

    May 16, 2006 at 9:40 pm

    Love Capote, watched “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” the other night at 3 am . Read ” In Cold Blood” and “Other Voices other Rooms” in High School” and have liked him ever since.
    The renting thing I haven’t done since i moved to wordpress due to having to insert code myself. I have rented other people’s blogs, when they let me which is infrequently- I think it has something to do with my daddy.

    Luck on the teeth.

  6. Susan says

    May 16, 2006 at 11:01 pm

    Maybe someday I’ll rent out my blog, but I’m still new to all this and I’m a little skeptical. On the other hand, a man who loves to eat at Cracker Barrell sounds like my kind of guy!

  7. Bone says

    May 17, 2006 at 12:17 am

    🙂 Thanks, Pia. I am rather enjoying myself around here. Although I’m not sure how Toto feels about the whole thing.

    By the way, some guy with a bum hip stopped by while you were at the dentist.

  8. Miz BoheMia says

    May 17, 2006 at 12:31 am

    Had many things to say until you mentioned dentist… *shudder* I feel for you Pia! Good luck and…. almost done!

  9. Cowgirl says

    May 17, 2006 at 1:09 am

    There’s probably 5 Cracker Barrel restaurants within an hour of my farm. Sad, but true.

    I quoted Tennessee Williams today at Doug’s.

    But I do not know of any of my cousins marrying another one…so do I loose points?

  10. Cowgirl says

    May 17, 2006 at 1:10 am

    Grrr…that should be lose points.

  11. Callen Damornen says

    May 17, 2006 at 1:54 am

    Funny you should mention the cousin marrying cousin thing. My hubby’s side of the family is from a small town in TN. While doing family research, there have been examples of third, fourth and fifth cousins who have married, but nothing closer…honest!!

  12. dan says

    May 17, 2006 at 4:36 am

    I knew it wouldn’t take long to rent… I knew it!

    Know I want to know how much it went for. 🙂

  13. Retro Sneakers says

    November 2, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    I think Nike’s are going to the retro look now for the more casual crowd. Their athletic line is ugly, but I like the retro looking ones.

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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