I’m back for one day only this week. First I must thank all the bloggers who have stepped in for me, and will continue stepping in for me through at least next week.
I can not thank them enough but will figure out someway
Have a post underneath this. Meant to turn off the coments. It’s rather self indulgent, but I’m in that kind of mood. Will write about my Mom, and how truly wonderful she was on her birthday
Going to Montauk today, without reservations which is very unlike me. Might stay a third night. Don’t know if the motel has high speed Internet connections or any, at all. Forget. Living dangerously. WP has self timing, so the posts will go on.
While Courting officially began in August, 2004, its real birth was November, 2004 when I discovered that people actually read blogs. I can be very slow.
I never meant for Courting to be a political and/or issue oriented blog. That just happened.
The only products that I push are bloggers because i believe that this amazing new medium should include all voices.
I am a First Amendment absolutist. And absolutist means that I stop at inflammatory statements that urge hate, racism, and spur people to action which is the difficult part to always reconcile in my mind.
The easiest example is a document that calls for a lynching and/or killing, and says it in specific language.
Is Mein Kampf inflammatory? Or did a series of events happen in Germany that allowed it to be taken seriously? Does it matter? Yes.
In post 9/11 America our liberties have to be guarded more seriously than ever. And we have to understand that distinction, though at times it can be unknowable.
Have spent much time since I began Courting trying to understand the maybes and the subtleties.
I have decided for my own peace of mind and efficacy to give that all a break, and focus on what I know best, me. I’m self-absorbed, so? America is a country of self-absorbed people who are making much money off their self-absorption.
I have been defensive for so long that it feels great to say that I care about myself. The only person that I make fun of is me, and I will continue to, because I see the humor in my own actions and thoughts.
My parents taught me that people who laugh at themselves do have the last laugh. They looked so normal and were so eccentric. I know that I’m lucky to have great memories. I want my niece to truly know her grandparents, warts and all. It’s easiest to do through stories, and I have enough for three memoirs.
In fiction I can explore motives, place–yes, Dan I will endlessly explore place, characters. It also lets my imagination take over and that is such a guilty pleasure.
Courting has allowed me to see that there is an audience for my work. If I have obsessed over blogging and its components in these pages, I have used my blog to think out loud.
These past few weeks have shown me that I can usually think in silence. Though my desktop, Savannah Three is angry at me and is demanding more memory so she can spew my words back to me.
I am using guest bloggers for many reasons. I needed to live a blogcentric life, once I realized that people do read blogs and comment. As everybody who reads Courting knows I underwent six or seven oral surgeries in the past two years. Did that make me a better more beautiful person? Have no idea.
Did it make me poorer? Uh, yes, as I didn’t want to explain this to any employer including the paper that was employing me. Didn’t tell them about Courting for a long time. As I actually had to leave my house to do parts of my reporter job, I didn’t want to have to make special arrangements, or cause anybody to be inconvenienced.
I so thank everybody who has left a positive comment, and/or email, as I had lost much faith in my ability to effectively communicate. Normally I would say “write,” but I mean those two words.
Courting has shown me that I can. It has even helped me repair bonds with my old real life friends.
I have had many professional accomplishments but Courting, though the word “professional” might be subject to debate, is my proudest. Nobody knew who I was when I began it.
But I never cared about the amount of comments that I got. It was the quality that I cared about. When I found myself obsessing about comments, I knew that I was truly blogger burned.
Courting has always been about the writing and will be so again.
I am writing this on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, and this year the days of awe, or the period between The New Year and Yom Kippur, means so much to me that I began my annual high holy day closet cleaning early and have given much away, with much more to go.
Bloggers have done so much for me this past year, that my faith in many things has been affirmed.
And for the first time in many years I can honor my parents properly on Yom Kippur by remembering both their lives.
When I think of my Mom now, I smile.