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Weekend at Pia's

September 15, 2006 By pia

Last Christmas before I knew Bone well I could describe him almost perfectly. Now it’s more difficult. He has so many different sides that I look one dimensional. Plus he can write great song lyrics that he thinks are nothing. Would be jealous, but….

However, if he doesn’t change his screenname soon, I’m not going to charge him rent or a pimping fee. I’m going to make really really bad Bone jokes. And there are so many I can think of offhand. I said “bad,” not “good.”

Bone however is very good, and this is still another side to him. Though I’m so tempted….

Oh nine years ago tonight, I passed my Coop interview. I was probably the only person in history to truly over prepare. But it was the shortest ten minutes of my life, and they kinda let me know on the spot. New Yorkers endure everything to be able to say something like this.

Okay, Bone, you can continue your visit. Didn’t think that you would mind. the telethon tote thing Bone mentions is in sea blue, and very pretty.

I walk slowly along, gazing at the directions I printed off and then back at the buildings, talking to myself. “I know that’s Riverside Park. So… this must be right.”
I am shocked to see a plaque by the door that reads: “Home of World Famous Blogger Pia Savage.”
Wow, I think. Impressive.
I ask the doorman, who looks exactly like Ralph on The Jeffersons, just as I pictured he would.
“Miss Savage has been expecting you, sir.”

The lobby is filled with pictures, press clippings, even a lifesize Courting pin-up poster. As I walk to the elevator, I swear I overhear some lady saying, “That’s the third different man she’s had over this week.” I turn to see who said it, but everyone is tight-lipped, staring at me. Finally, I’m in the elevator. I look for the correct floor. Ground… two.. three… four… five… Pia… what?

And finally I’m there, on the other side of the door, from her. Famous blogger. Lifetime New Yorker. My unwilling mentor. I hesitate for just a moment, nervous. Before I can knock a Chinese deliveryman pushes me aside. “Hot and sour soup for Miss Pia?” he says, almost inquiringly, as if he expects me to confirm. So I do. He knocks. I notice his nametag reads “Ping.”

“Who knocketh there?” I hear from the other side of the door.
“Chinese food,” Ping says.
“Just a moment, I have to tie up Toto,” the voice says.

In the next thirty seconds, I hear noises like furniture being moved coming from inside. A voice says, “Toto! Behave!” Did I just hear a dog bark? Finally, the door cracks open. I see a kind, almost elegant face, which for some reason makes me think of some famous actress who hasn’t had a major part in ten years.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you, my dearest Bone.”
“Uh… hi.”
“Here you go, Ping, my dear.”
“Thank you, Miss Pia.”
“Come right in, Bone. Have you eaten yet?” she asks as the door opens wider and I step inside.
“Um, yeah, I just had some mulligatawny from the soup kitchen.”

I look around. It’s bigger than it sounds on the blog, but still small.
“Nice Karl Rove dartboard,” I say. “Where’d you get that?”
“You donate enough to the DNC, they’ll give you anything.”
There is a big thing which looks like a telethon toteboard over by the computer.
“What is that?” I ask.
“That’s my current Technorati,” she answers. “Won’t you have a seat?” She smiles.

She has amazing teeth.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

« On the subject of place in writing
Zenformation and the Art of Random Sexual Talking Points »

Comments

  1. Pia savage says

    September 15, 2006 at 12:17 am

    Almost elegant?
    And who are you thinking of?

  2. sage says

    September 15, 2006 at 7:38 am

    I love that last line! And he picked out some many little things, like the Rove dartboard and the size of the apt

  3. dan says

    September 15, 2006 at 9:18 am

    That’s just like what happened to me!

  4. g says

    September 15, 2006 at 10:36 am

    That was excellent! I was truly transported there to Pia’s apartment on Riverside Drive. Dazzling smile Pia!

  5. neva says

    September 15, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    well this piece was every bit as fun, lovely, and charming as the owner of this blog! well done, Bone (if that’s your real name)! xo

  6. Doug says

    September 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    Very funny, Bone.

    Sorry to hear of your slow week, Pia.

  7. jacob says

    September 15, 2006 at 6:21 pm

    “That’s my current Technorati,” she answers. “Won’t you have a seat?” She smiles

    She has amazing teeth ”

    That is so fitting. I’m only sorry he got there first.

  8. Bradley says

    September 15, 2006 at 11:22 pm

    That cracked me up! I was reading your blog, and I totally didn’t understand what you were describing. That was awesome though, loves it.

  9. Carol Scibelli says

    September 16, 2006 at 12:00 am

    Lots of fun to read. Loved it.

  10. onemargaret says

    September 16, 2006 at 12:29 am

    Wow! I really do like your website. It is really nice. I like your template and your illustrations, pictures, etc. Please stop by my place and leave a comment or two. Since I am fairly new to this blogging time, I would really appreciate your time and your ideas. Have a wonderful day. Also, I am bookmarking your site, so I may return again soon. Have a wonderful weekend.

  11. cooper says

    September 16, 2006 at 2:30 am

    “Last Christmas before I knew Bone well I could describe him almost perfectly. Now it’s more difficult.” Pia so you you can’t hide even though you want to.

    “Bone”- I picture a broken skeleton actually the boner things occurs secondarily.

    ” There is a big thing which looks like a telethon toteboard over by the computer.
    “What is that?” I ask.
    “That’s my current Technorati,” she answers. “Won’t you have a seat?” She smiles.

    She has amazing teeth.”

    I have to admit that is a perfect bunch of lines all strung together as the potential truth plays out better than what is not. It also made me smile.

  12. Shayna says

    September 17, 2006 at 7:08 am

    Bone… you did a wonderful job!!! I could picture Pia to a “T”… 🙂

  13. Lucia says

    September 17, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    Thought I was going to fall out of my chair.

    Love the tote board!

    tickeled my funnyBone for sure.

  14. Bone says

    September 17, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    Uhh, should I be moderating these?

    Thanks, all.

    And Pia, why are you so anti-bone? I told you I’d change my screen name when you suggested a catchy, agreeable, manly one 🙂

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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