Ten things

Maybe it’s 35% percent of all people like me; 5% are neutral; and 60% don’t, but a girl can dream….

This is what the New York housing market is like. Sometimes i feel that the only things I want out of life are a real working kitchen and a deck.

Something most people know about me. I am a First Amendment absolutist.

Dari asked for ten things about me. Gay asked for eight random facts. Here goes:

1)My father was the charter member of “generation tea cup. He would have loved to have gone on job interviews with me. Assuming I went for the jobs he wanted me to have. He would have loved to have negotiated salary and other benefits for me. I feel badly that he didn’t live to see his world view vindicated.Though he would have been dead anyway as I would have murdered him. I am a daddy’s girl who was forever trying to break free and my book is about that and more.

2) I began to go for my dream in 2000. Last year it felt as if it could happen. I had to trash everything that I had done and begin anew, because I finally came to some understandings of what agents and publishing people are really looking for.

It’s hard to keep momentum up when constantly beginning again. This will be my last try. I’m not embarrassed to say that. Writing is one thing. Succeeding in being published is another thing entirely and often not based on merit.

3) I write about my family because they were so eccentric yet would have fit in so perfectly in today’s world.

4) I found myself beginning to turn into a bitter angry person. I hated that. I kept play acting being nice until it became real. Now I ask myself who is this nice person? Does it hinder my chances? Don’t you have to be cut throat to make it in publishing? In life? In New York?

Construction noise still drives me crazy, but I don’t dare complain except on my blog, to bloggers and friends. Never to the workers or the owners. But complaining on my blog helps me stay sane.

5) Since I push myself beyond my comfort range, writing can be very scary to me. I don’t care if a post bombs or not. Nor do I care about rejections. I do care about maintaining quality, with the occasional flop.

6) I have always wanted to be a writer but didn’t dare really act on it because I can’t describe what an adverb is, for example, without looking it up. But I can use words better than most people.

7) I have had a measure of blogging success. That and a token won’t get me on the subway. That said I usually enjoy my own writing more than many published books. Reading a “bad” one spurs me on. I’m not sure that “blogging success” is a good thing. It feeds too many dreams.

I want to write about what it feels like to be middle aged. Those posts only work in fiction, and people really care about youth, beauty, celebrity and other mindless things. When I look at a magazine stand i become grossed out by the endless covers on the same people.

8) I feel too young to be middle aged but by any standard I am. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but TV commercials and ads make it seem as if all baby boomers need much work, many medications, and are going to be broke.
Even articles that are supposed to present middle age well seem to present the bad sides. They don’t talk about the joy some women experience when they’re not a slave to their hormones for a week or three a month. I am one of those woman, and love it. I wouldn’t even know what a hot flash was if they hadn’t been told to me in depth by many of my friends.

I love this stage of life, and really believe that in many ways my life is just beginning. Of course i could be hit a bike today. i was almost hit by three deliverymen in the past two days. They don’t obey the rules of the road, yet it’s the pedestrian who must constantly be on the look out.

9) Love me, hate me, I don’t care. I have always gone by the 50% rule. 50% of all people seem to actively dislike me, and 50% of all people seem to actively like me. That’s been true forever.
That said, I was amazed by the attention this blog got. I am proud that I continued when I was trashed so often by so many people. But then I also had great support.

10) I have had the same real life friends forever. We have become family and are invited to all family events. My niece, Jacquelin’s upcoming Bat Mitzvah wouldn’t be complete without Lucia and Little Luce.

i needed a place to go to escape New York because I do my best writing outside of New York. I’m going to be spending most of June in Lucia’s sister’s condo in Myrtle Beach. Sometimes life is that simple. But I can’t make excuses and do need to focus now on my book.

It is draining me yet I know that it’s good and has a better than average chance. I just have to feel un-drained.
I’m supposed to tag people. I have never been able to do that.