I love heat waves. They make me feel alive in a way cold never does. Walking on the stuffy humid almost deserted streets where people still manage to walk into each others space, I want to burst out into song or dance or something. Yet I don’t dare because I can’t sing on key, and dancing, well I follow well.
I’m out of my funk and back in full working mode. Thanks in large part to a Wombat, a Dawg, a Bone, that OTN girl, and a T Chica. Almost three years ago I discovered blogging, two and two thirds years ago found out that people actually read blogs and I haven’t looked back ever.
It’s not true that blogging impedes writing. It can become stronger. You can find your true voice through blogging as long as you don’t let others decide what should and shouldn’t be
I have found that the more honest I am, the more people relate. A sense of humor helps. Sometimes I lose mine. And sometimes it’s everything
Music moves my writing. This week it’s Van Morrison, Levon Helm and The Band, with very unexpectedly to me some Lucinda who did inadvertently play a major role in my life. That story won’t be in this book. That happened later. This book is about when I was young. Innocent in a strange and deceptive way. The hardest part about writing about me at seventeen to 21 is showing that innocence and sweetness others saw.
I see somebody else, a girl who wasn’t truly good. But I have always been my harshest critic. Harsher even than the bloggers who used to write nasty things about me. They didn’t know that I could take it. They didn’t know how relentless I was on myself. No, they didn’t know me it at all. Other bloggers do, and their faith drives me.
The clock is ticking, but I’m not sure I want a child—yet I worry that if I don’t have one, I’ll regret it when it’s too late.
There are parts of life where you can compromise, but not here: You either have a child or don’t.
The fear of regretting that you didn’t have a child is not the best reason to have one. That said, rarely have I seen a patient who regretted becoming a mother, because once the baby is in the world, the woman loves it. Usually, the woman wants to be a parent and it’s her spouse who isn’t sure; he goes along with it because he listens to her fear of regret. Yet when the baby is born, he doesn’t regret it either; he loves it, too.
On the other hand, I have had patients who’ve regretted not having children. The good news is, there are so many ways you can rectify that, including adoption and IVF.
— Dr. Gail Saltz, psychiatrist and author of Anatomy of a Secret Life
Yes I think women should always become pregnant if their partner is against it. He’s guaranteed to love the baby, and will never abuse the mother or the child. The mother will never feel anger, and take it on the child. That’s why we don’t need fully functional child protective agencies and courts.
I guess this article brought me to a new level of understanding about how the world works.
I now understand that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have the resources to have good child care. If your parents are aging and you have to help them–well you can hire the same people to care of your child and your parents.
If you don’t have a good support system in place, and can’t afford a nanny, keep the kid alone when you go to work. I have read about mother’s who leave their children in the car when they work. Maybe that could become the new in thing. Instead of baby bugaboo’s we can have baby Beetles.
After reading this article I see infinite ways a woman can care for a child when she can’t even care for herself very well.
We live in a world where we have to make infinite choices. I suppose this article was only meant for women who live in a perfect world.
I’m not against single parenthood. I just know it’s the single hardest job in the world and should be acknowledged as such.
I’m not in a very good mood. There are days that I wake up, not often, and think I don’t have a child who will live to talk about me. I haven’t done anything that will make me remembered. But I do understand that not every child turns out to be a joy, and that I have impacted in a few peoples lives. Still, sometimes it’s just not enough.
It’s on days like today I want to nuke this blog. I woke up thinking about social networks and how I have zilch interest in them and that alone makes my blog less worthy because I’m not in the new blogging mode. I’m back to blogging expiration dates. Back to Oprah.
I know the power of Oprah. I can see women saying: “But Oprah said it’s OK not to tell my partner.” Or “Oprah said it’s OK if get pregnant without having a steady partner or resources.” I know Oprah didn’t write this. I don’t think that’s the message Gail Saltz was trying to impart, but people read what they want to . I have learned that from blogging
On the other hand, I never knew anyone who regretted their neighbor not having a child and I’ve known many people who regretted their neighbor having a child. If we let out neighbors decide, Earth would be a peaceful place and global warming a distant memory.
I think you need to stop worrying about other blogs if you don’t enjoy it don’t bother with it.
I honestly don’t think much about children or not so I have nothing to offer.
Doug if I ever have a child I am moving next door to you.
And the thing is, the people who are dense enough to read this and come to those conclusions you laid out are the ones doing the procreating.
Doug: There would also be a lot more Jehovah’s Witnesses in the world
After reading this, I climbed onto my lofty “edge of the fence” position, and noticed once more that people take far too much notice of what so called “experts” think, or rely on books to tell them what to do.
It reminds me of religious people too – while I know some wonderful people who I respect enormously, in my personal opinion their dependence on a deity or a book of fiction to make decisions in their life is laughable – especially when “the church” cynically exploits those it manages to brainwash.