This post won’t ever win most comments, but could win most thoughtful comments. Indeterminacy linked to a great post on satire. I love satire. True satire and sarcasm are mother’s milk to me. I grew up with it, and am pretty good at myself. But when I began this blog I didn’t want to be snarky as it seems like sick and usually stupid sarcasm. Actually there are more than a few posts in Courting that are satirical–just hard to spot unless you know me or the subject or whatever.
I can see people satirizing me and my reaction to 9/11. That would be sick but funny.
But the event itself. As somebody who will never forget a seemingly deserted New York–the bars and restaurants were filled that first night–with fighter jets over head–I was walking a young girl who had no place in Manhattan to go but my apartment to meet some of her mother’s friends–it’s too raw. I didn’t link to the so called humor blog as I didn’t want to give the blogger a link or any hits. I don’t like to think about 9/11 out of season.
We in Manhattan opened our apartments, our hearts, our pocketbooks. We gave a lot of ourselves that first week, month, year, and ended up with a city I can no longer afford to live in. It hurts to leave the city I was born in.
I really don’t like to do pity me posts. But one of my best friends forever is having a major operation, and it’s scary….I was reading the nominees for “funniest blogs.” There wasn’t an ironic or great story telling one in the bunch. After three years, poop jokes have worn me down. One blog had a picture of a man standing on The Trade Center with a plane looking as if it was going to hit it. She called it “satire” and said that it was widely circulated and healing in the months after 9/11. I don’t know where she lives, but I had nightmares about that last night. How the hell can that be healing? We make jokes about what we can’t comprehend. We make jokes about the worst things in life. Yes I agree. Word jokes might work. Though honestly I can’t think of anything funny about 9/11. “Did you hear about the man who could have survived but chose to stay with his disabled officemate? Wasn’t he stupid?”
I tell such horrible unPC jokes that a friend said I can only get away with them as I’m a NY Jewish woman–and I won’t repeat them here. The point is that’s not satire by any definition of the word. It’s stupid and tasteless and did give me nightmares. Here’s a Google page with many definitions of satire. None fit that. If the blogosphere, enmasse, considers tasteless to be satire I want no part of it. Satire can be brilliant. Satire makes the world a better place. That picture wasn’t satire. Just truly in bad taste. It also made me feel too New York for the blogosphere. End of rant.
I just wrote a post and took it down.
Have no blogging confidence anymore. Going down 30,000 Technorati places literally overnight–well I thought it would liberating. But it’s made me doubt myself and everything about this blog.
I was blogging when I should have been submitting. I hope that I didn’t waste three years of my life.
But really I never enjoyed having a “popular” blog. I didn’t play it up. Its success just came. Success should be earned, though I have paid more than my share of dues in the school of life. There’s a lot about blogging I’m tired of. I want to get ready to move and to write. But can I post and not do all the things a true blogger should do? I also have a deep interest in watching TV–something not usual for me–so I’m happy about the writers strike. I have a full social calender. After putting people off for two years, I relearned the joys of socialization last year. I use blogging as an excuse to get out of real life and am tired of that.
I’m a bit sad today–a very close friend is having a pacemaker/defibrillator put in tomorrow. She had cancer this summer–hope that’s over, and lost her mother last year. No I’m not a bit sad, I’m very sad. And scared.
I’m thinking of nuking Courting or letting it languish and beginning a private blog where people who are interested can read my novella or novel or whatever it is.
Do want and appreciate feedback on that.
I am loving writing that, and probably should have participated in NaNoWriMo as I wrote four chapters on Sunday. Didn’t say they were good, but it was fun. I could write a 175 page novel in a month if….but I would use that an excuse not to get my moving act together. And The Wombat would be wondering what I was doing writing a novel for no gain when…
Was so happy to get a comment from Dan. I miss my old blogging friends. Just tried leaving him a comment but Blogger comments and I are having issues today.
MizzyB is back and in rare Boho form
Read the post below. Just for the voting instructions. I think Cooper is the reason I became friendly with the Wombat, the Boho and Dan. Or I might have known Dan and the Boho first. I do miss the days when blogging was more ad hoc and I was yet to be jaded.