Edwards was my first choice. Go Obama! Hopefully Edwards can explain to many why Obama’s health care plan makes so much more sense.
I’m supposed to be a “natural” Hillary supporter as I’m a middle aged New York Jewish woman with a graduate degree. I resent easy categorizations. That might be one of the many reasons I like Obama.
">Bone, thanks I guess for the words
••••••••••••••••••••
Any woman over 50 will tell you the neck doesn't lie. Nora Ephron wrote a whole book about it. I thought I was one of the fortunate few when 45 came and went, and I was still thin, never easily, and still had a good face. That, ten and a few years ago, was when 40 was still older though I was convinced it wasn't even the midpoint of youth.
Oh how I learned. I am so vain. When I gained weight and couldn't get it off no matter what I did I thought of taking to my bed for the rest of my life. But that seemed self-defeating and really suicidal and I am neither.
I had never been an envious or jealous person and I became both. I began to envy women who had been "merely average," and who had developed great exercise habits.
I moved from a very hilly area back to Manhattan and it took me a long time to realize that walking no longer cut it.
I had been working in social services and in my newest life, not in social services, I began meeting many women who would view me as "not competition." This was of course not acceptable.
I began to remake myself. For the first time in my life I had to pay attention to everything about me. It's not fun. I'm lucky. My face is still tight. I look better in longer hair, as long as it's straight, than in short hair.
I have reclaimed myself. I'm not a competitive person. I truly want to live in a world where people help each other. But in the years of my discontent I learned that women in certain industries talk a good game but in reality....
A book is coming out soon. The author is much younger than I am. We were in a class together. I wrote a story. Two weeks later she handed in an almost identical one. I don't know if it made past the first draft of her book but...To her I was nothing. Invisible. Somebody who didn't matter.
I was told to feel proud that I could "inspire." Why? What did that garner me?
I'm back in form and nobody will ever take me for invisible again. My writing will inspire and will profit me. Call me selfish, bitchy, single-minded. I don't care. Just don't pretend that I don't exist.
Scratch me and I bleed. I will never be a woman who has every line taken out. Who can't scratch her face for fear it will bring up lines often removed. I have earned my lines. I like them. As long as they stay in the background.
My neck? It will do.
Oh, this is so familiar. And I just entered forties!
😀
i always had it too easy,, no diet, no exercise,, just born that way,, and i am seriously considering living the rest of my life in the manor in which my body was born to be,, a bit over weight,, but fully functional…
i do feel invisible,, but it is a warm safe place and i like it here…
Both entertaining and pertinent in several ways!
Pia, I just happened to be on line in Century 21 with some of those whose faces just looked a little too plastic for me. But listening to the conversations, I was quite happy being me.
I so related to this post. Wonderful.
‘not competition’
Love that line. Seems to me you’ve kept your personality just right, too 🙂
Agree with AnthonyNorth. That was my favorite line. The whole piece builds up to the conclusion nicely.
Well written.
I totally relate. I’ll be 40 in a few days, and what I took for granted most of my life, I have to work for now. No longer the “corporate cutie”. It’s odd. But never invisible. That comes with confidence within, which you rightfully have.
I haven’t hit 40 yet, but I already have challenges that others say I’m too young to have. eh – we all have our issues in life. It is hard though to realize that youth doesn’t stay forever…. I still don’t feel as old as my teen says I am!
As for inspiring – I don’t think you’re bitchy. That was just WRONG.
At 46 I can relate and have learned to accept my lines and floppy boobs as character builders. 😉
You go girl!
At 46 I can so relate to this journey. I have learned to accept my lines and floppy boobs as character builders. 😉
You go girl!
Yes, I understand the invisible.
That was a great post about moving forward.
Does Obama’s healthcare proposal make sense?
I hate it when ideas are stolen! seeing those brown spots on the skin has been tough for me, they started appearing when turned 50
I don’t know that I can relate so much to this piece, as I never had the easy good looks – my brother got all those. He also got the confidence that went with them, and I’ll be honest: as he’s aged and found that it’s not as easy to continue to look like he used to, I’ve (sadly) found a bit of joy in watching him learn to live his life a little differently. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I guess the truth is we always wish things were a little easier, no? At the very least, a little more fair…
i hope i’ll feel the same way.. 🙂
As the commenter above said I can only hope I’ll feel the same way.
I still find it hard to believe all the thieving among writers. It is such a shame really.
I haven’t claimed myself for the first time yet, still looking forward to that.