3WW is below this. I took this post down as I thought it whiny and self centered. Then I got an exceptional email and this comment from Cooper that was originally on the post below. I moved it. I replied as I now have a blog that belongs in the what do we call this decade? 20/10’s? This blog is a pleasure and I thank Cooper the magnificent for all her work. She’s also one of the few people I enjoy having generational difference discussions with.
I belong to one org that uses the word “wives” to refer to all women as they think the word “girlfriend” has been over used. Girlfriend is one word, or two, that I can’t use enough.
I just saw a blog promoting “mom” as meaning all people who are child friendly. I love kids but I’m not a mom.
I think both these words are regressive and demeaning when used in those contexts. I’m a single childless woman with many girlfriends.
However if companies decided to send me products to test because they think I’m a mom I would gladly accept and break my five year rule of no product endorsement. Only because being a mom is seen as being much more worthy than not being a mom in the blogosphere and I guess being a wife is also much more worthy.
I thought these battles were fought and won many years ago. I thought it was alright to be who I am.
I’m learning from the blogosphere and the world of social networks that really people only said those things. In their hearts they believe a woman, unless a lesbian, should be married with kids. Or be married. Or have kids.
I don’t usually feel lonely nor do I rethink every decision in my life. I’m writing a book that delves into my past and sometimes it hurts to thinks of decisions I did or didn’t make.
But it’s my trip through the virtual world that made me feel lonely this cold cold day. I don’t think people understand the power of words to hurt when they declare all women “wives” or all woman who like kids “moms.”
What I’m really trying to say and failing at, is that by calling all women “wives” and “mom,” my single childless status is diminished. And when I reread that I think “you’re single and childless. You haven’t invented anything that helped humankind. You haven’t done anything noteworthy. You’re a failure.”
Such is the power of words.