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3WW: ebb; negotiate; random: Being Jewish in The Bible Belt

April 21, 2010 By pia

I found this experience really strange and unsettling.  I haven’t encountered anything similar to what Dan said he has experienced.

Housekeeping–when I approve new commenters not all show up on the blog.  Godaddy’s on the case

Yesterday a young man came over.  Jewish, like me, he’s lived in the Myrtle Beach area his entire life.  The first time I met him he told me he was converting to Judaism because he’s engaged to a Jewish woman.

Yesterday he said: People never think I’m Jewish.  When I tell them my family came over from Germany and Poland they don’t believe me.

(Like me he has a small nose and non-stereotypical looks.)

I said: I thought you were converting.

Oh, I tell people different stories.  My grandfather came from Germany.  My grandmother’s family has lived here forever and pretended to be Methodist.

The conversation seemed random in a weird way.  He began telling me about all the anti-Semitism he has encountered throughout his life. I tried getting back to why he tells different stories but he seemed so eager to talk to somebody Jewish who didn’t know him I let him go on.

He’s a computer tech;  a geek who does good work and charges me less.  I couldn’t figure out why my router’s so good but somehow the signal never seems to reach Netflick.  It’s been an ongoing problem despite me trying to negotiate with the TV and DVD player; a series of firmware updates and Dan having been here before.

It’s not fun to be watching a movie and lose it in the middle.  The problem seemed to be almost random.  It wasn’t of course, it wouldn’t accept my router password.  Finally he figured out why as he continued to talk.

One customer asks everybody their religion before he lets them in his house.  I said I was Jewish and he wouldn’t let me in.  He said that he would never ever let a Jew cross his threshold though he didn’t say it in those words.  Ever since then I’ve been saying different things to different people.

Doesn’t that confuse you?  We all know a good liar sticks to one basic story.

Yes but I don’t want to really lie to somebody like you.

You didn’t need to lie to me at all.  You saw the mezuzah on the door.  You asked me about it.

I didn’t know if I could trust you then.

Trust me?  What would I do to you?

Oh I know you wouldn’t do anything.  It’s ingrained in me not to trust.  They hate us here.  You have no idea how much they hate us.

I still didn’t understand how telling me he was converting to Judaism because his fiancee Erin is Jewish was “better” than being born Jewish.

Dan went on and on telling me more stories about how much Christians hate Jews here. He had too many stories.  He’s been called the “K” word more times than he could remember.

I know some Jews who belong the same temple he does and they love it here.  They don’t find it anti-Semitic and their kids went through the school system.

My mother grew up in Greenpoint Brooklyn.  It wasn’t hip then; it was a place where few Jews lived.  She, her brother and sisters would have eggs, rocks and tomatoes thrown on them.  They would be taunted.  She chose to live in gilded Jewish ghettos as she never wanted her children to go through what she went through.

Maybe because I grew up in a world where Jews weren’t just accepted but ruled I’ve never thought being Jewish is anything to be ashamed of.  I couldn’t understand what Dan and my parents understood; many people just don’t like Jews.  I will never accept that.

I’m a Jew in the Bible Belt and if people don’t like that they can negotiate a price for my house.  It won’t be cheap.  Not because I’m greedy or anything that people stereotype Jews as–quite the opposite actually.  I put a lot of time and money into my  house.  I plan on this being my home for quite a long time.  I love it here.  It’s different than anything I’ve ever experienced.

The experience with Dan left me unsettled.  I went down to the beach.  Not to walk or sit but just to watch the waves ebb and flow for a few minutes.  I thought how random it was that a Jewish tech came to my house and told me stories that made me ill.

Filed Under: 3WW Tagged With: 3WW

« 3WW: brash; lubricate; saint: You’re such a disappointment: fiction
Crazy, I’m feeling crazy »

Comments

  1. Anthony North says

    April 21, 2010 at 7:19 am

    Life can be very strange. A gripping narration.

  2. ThomG says

    April 21, 2010 at 8:09 am

    I have never understood intolerance. A fine, fine narrative, Pia. Makes you think, draws out emotions.

  3. Doug says

    April 21, 2010 at 9:20 am

    That is a very strange story. The strangest part to me is the one about his mother’s family. If far back in his line Jews arrived and practiced Methodism, why would the family still be crypto-Jewish rather than Methodist?

    I’m tempted to suspect he saw the Mezuzah and decided to ingratiate himself. Probably a Lutheran.

  4. b says

    April 21, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Pia, there you are! I just stopped by to read because I love the way you put word together.

    Isn’t it interesting that our experience shapes the core of our personality. I always wanted to be Jewish. It always seemed to be such an ancient, well worked out way of life. I cannot imagine being hated because of something I did not choose but was chosen for me. What would make anyone do such a thing? I just don’t get it.

    Be well.

    b

    http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2010/04/global-warmingwho-cares-trashing.html

  5. Angel says

    April 21, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    I just think it’s sad people can’t all get along no matter what their faith.

  6. cooper says

    April 21, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    This man is a character that you have brought to life for us. I suspect he’s somewhat crazy and possible in need of attention using small thrutsh to make many stories.

  7. cooper says

    April 21, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    small truths..ugh

  8. Thomma Lyn says

    April 21, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    Fascinating story, well-written, and much food for thought.

  9. sage says

    April 21, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Interesting–a strange guy indeed. Nice job on telling the story, capturing the narrative and drawing us in. I wonder if he’s wanted he wants to be depending on where he’s working.

  10. Andy Sewina says

    April 22, 2010 at 2:21 am

    Yeah, what Cooper said, I think this guy Dan just needs some attention, he probably fancies the narattor!

  11. Dee says

    April 22, 2010 at 4:19 am

    It’s amazing what people will find to hate other people about. For Christians to hate God’s chosen people seems so absurd. Good post – interesting to hear the different points of view.

  12. pia says

    April 22, 2010 at 7:25 am

    This is a general reply!
    I think he’s a serious young man who brought up some real issues but did so in a manner that made me want to defend every Christian here

    Doug, Jews have hidden their identities in various places forever. There was anti-Semitism in the South, at the turn of the last century through at least the 60’s–Leo Frank and others.
    One reason we related so much to the civil rights movement is that we understood
    So I do believe that families would pretend to be another religion. well I don’t really understand but I can condone it. There are families here who did begin as Jewish and ended up in various Christian denominations. They discover this when doing their family history
    Though my great uncle moved to Mobile,after WWOne had five kids and was very proudly Orthodox
    Dan left me unsettled as I can’t believe these things are still happening. In my little world people embrace me. Some might want to convert me but know that’s not going to happen

  13. Jay Thurston says

    April 22, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Well written, and yes, a strange encounter. Intolerance is such a clear sign of a small mind.

  14. gautami tripathy says

    April 22, 2010 at 8:49 am

    A great thought provoking narration.

    non-negotiable

  15. Tumblewords says

    April 22, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Provocative piece – lots of room for thought!

  16. one more believer says

    April 23, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    hi pia… good to see ya writing again… interesting story.. just the other night saw a story on hannah senesch… poetry is absolutely beautiful…. we forget in our comfortable world of living free how it was to not be free just b/c of who u r… some of us are just plain uncomfortable no matter what we believe and are trying to just hold on… dochathink??!!… thru perserverance we are saved… trying to figure somebody else’s reasoning is like hitting one’s head against a wall… though when one comes into our homes and brings their stuff with them they leave a bit behind leaving us uncomfortable… a friend of mine wanted to become a jew for her man… after two years she freaked out one night… she was gonna have to go to the rabbi and tell him why she wants to be a jew… she sez im gonna have to give up jesus… never heard her mention him once previously go figure… anyhow she’s jewish now… i think… don’t make much sense to me… tonights tide

  17. tonyg says

    April 25, 2010 at 7:59 am

    My initial thought was pathological liar.

    Wonderful job of turning a brief conversation into an interesting and thought-provoking post.

  18. Bone says

    April 25, 2010 at 8:17 am

    I don’t know if it’s my generation or just my personal sheltered life experience, but I never really understood why there was anti-Semitism.

    I think so much of hate and intolerance come from how one was raised.

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About Me

I live in the South, not South Florida, a few blocks from the ocean, and two blocks from the main street. It's called Main Street. Amazes me too.

I'm from New York. I mostly lived in the Mid-Upper East Side, and the heart of the Upper West Side. It amazes me when people talk about how scared they were of Times Square in the 1970's and 1980's.

As my mother said: "know the streets, look out and you'll be fine."

What was scary was the invasion of the crack dens into "good buildings in good 'hoods." And the greedy landlords who did everything they could to get good tenants out of buildings.

I'm a Long Island girl, and proud of it now.
Then I hated everything about the suburbs. Yet somehow I lived in a few great Long Island Sound towns after high school.

Go to archives "August 2004" if you want to begin with the first posts.

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